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Lotusflowers
17,221
L Intermediate 2
5 star rating
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Number of ratings52 Number of reviews9 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish, Dutch Listener sinceAug 10, 2015 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderFemale PathStep 84 People helped92 Chats278 Group support chats15 Listener group chats3 Forum posts49 Forum upvotes43
Bio
Hello! Happy to see you found me. I'm a female who is already being trained to be a "good listener" (psychology student), so I thought I might as well use this skill already on 7CupsOfTea. From the 17th of August I'll be an intern so I'll be online every day! Always feel free to send me a message if you want.

I've been through quite some heavy things in my young life (PTSD, anxiety, depression) so I know what life can be like. I also hope to be an inspiration that things do get better.
But I also love good talks about nice things. I love music, theatre, animals and I'm a very creative person with a lot of philosophical thoughts in my tiny head :)
Recent forum posts
Anxiety explained
Anxiety Support / by Lotusflowers
Last post
 September 15th, 2015
...See more Hello, On this late evening I thought, I might as well put a "easy" explanation about anxiety disorders. Because, what ís anxiety, really? Of course we all know some nice, professional terms about the brain. The amygdala who's quite overreacting, sensing that even the little things are dangerous and making your personal "car-alarm" go wild. How does anxiety start? Anxiety can have a lot of reasons. Let's start with the most important ones; - Genetics - Nurture - Bad experiences It's already been quite a discussion in the world of psychology, whether it's nature (genetics) or nurture that's really causing anxiety. But it's probably a combination of nature & nurture. Nature means you're way more sensitive for stress/anxiety than other people. Your brains just programmed that way. But, even if your sensitive, that doesn't mean you'll actually develop an actual anxiety disorder. It's a bit like having a bad knee (which runs in the family). Let's say you'll get injured quickly, but if you never go out running/kicking/whatever you won't get injured, and you won't have a really bad knee. As long as it's not triggered. Same with anxiety, really. You can be sensitive to develop an anxiety disorder, but as long as there are no triggers and you go through life "happily without triggers", you won't develop an actual disorder. Nurture means you learn to be anxious because your parents are. As a child, you learn a lot from what they see. I see my mom/dad cooking? Well, I might try the same in my imaginary kitchen! I see my mom/dad cleaning? Well, I might get my imaginary vacuum cleaner! I see my mom/dad panicking about a spider? Well, they are dangerous! I should be scared about them! I see my mom/dad panicking in a lift? They are dangerous! While arachnophobia is a quite common phobia, it's just a small example of it. Of course this happens with lots of phobias. For example, my mom has agoraphobia, so do my brothers and so did (luckily) I. It's of course part nature (you know, being sensitive), but also nurture. My mom always panicked about it, so it must be dangerous, right?!?! Well, no, of course not. But as a child, you don't know... You just learn what you see. Then it gets normal and you'll get used to it. But it's not, of course. Last but not least, the great "bad experiences". Still, these also need some sensitivity to actually create a disorder. They are a bit like the knee injury you need to actually get a bad knee. But how do bad experiences trigger an anxiety disorder? Does one bad experience mean you'll be anxious forever? No. Some will, if they are really bad (and even then it's not forever), but then you are talking about PTSD-related issues. Let's take agoraphobia as an example. It's easy for me ;) Let's say I'm not afraid at all. I go out all the time! I love travelling, walking, cycling (Dutch, you know!). But then, one day in the supermarket, I feel dizzy, scared, my heart racing and I can't breathe properly... What's wrong with me?! I quickly go home before it gets worse and once I get home, it goes away. Next time in the supermarket, I remember what happened last time. What if that happens again? Just the thought of it makes me anxious, sweating... Is that my heart pounding again?! Yes it is! Oh no... Not again! I can't breathe, I feel dizzy... And again, I go home. Next time this feeling starts even before leaving home, until you're afraid of leaving and you've developed agoraphobia. Why does this happen? Of course it's part of learning. You can think of Pavlov and his dog, or preferably, John Watson (not Sherlock's friend) and Little Albert. What Watson did was quite the same as Pavlov, only Watson used a baby (Albert) which he made scared of....white rabbits. Every time he showed Albert a little furry fluffy cute pluche white rabbit, short after he'd make a very loud noise to scare the baby. Not long after, Albert got scared seeing anything white and fluffy. Just like when you've experienced a panic attack when going to the supermarket. Supermarket = panic attack. White rabbit = scary noises. What to do about it? Creating good experiences is the best way to go. You can think of your brain like a forest, beautiful with trees. I don't know if you've every been to a forest, but you have the main roads and some side-paths. Usually, the main roads are easier to walk on than the side-paths, as they can sometimes be overgrown with bushes, grass, branches etc., while the main roads are clear, wide, easy to walk on without falling. Imagine you walking through that forest, in a hurry because you have to be somewhere in time. You'll probably choose the main roads as they take a lot less effort, energy and time then the side-paths. Imagine the side-paths being the "anxiety roads" and the main roads the "calm roads". Walking in the supermarket, you feel anxiety. You'll take the anxiety road, thank you very much! Even though it's harder, that's the way your going. You don't know why, but you're going!! And after "fleeing the scene", you'll realize there's no anxiety anymore. Great! That worked!!! So, next time you get anxious.... You'll take the anxiety road again! It's not nice, but hey, you'll get rid of the anxiety waaayyyyyy quicker than if you'd be taking the main road. After a while, the anxiety road is the road that's easier to go. After all, a road that's been walked on several times is easier to go on than roads that are left alone for a while. So, after a while... You'll see the anxiety roads becoming the main roads, and the calm roads the side-paths. Overgrown with bushes, grass, branches. Goal is to switch those two again. You can do that with professional help, who can provide you with for example Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, EMDR or Exposure therapy. I hope this text has been helpfull and quite nice to read, even though English is not my native language. If you have any questions related to anxiety (or not related, whatever you feel like) feel free to ask it in this thread, ór send me a message. Lots and lots of love, Lotusflowers
Little breathing trick to calm down
Anxiety Support / by Lotusflowers
Last post
 August 26th, 2015
...See more As it helps me a lot, I thought I might as well share this breathing exercise. I've been practicing yoga for a long time and it's very helpfull.
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She was very sweet and had lots of patience in answer to my problems. So sweet of u 'THAMARAI '
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What an incredible listener
Friendly and you can relate to them. Lovely person
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Depression
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