I feel like I hate my abuser. Should I feel this angry?

Hey there, first of all I'm very sorry you've been abused, I know it's something that's very difficult to live with and hopefully work through. Secondly, you have every right to feel any emotion that you may be feeling. Abuse is different for everyone.. what happens to everyone is different, the relationship to the abuser, and how you're going to feel afterwards/during is different as well - and that /doesn't/ make any of it wrong! For example, I was abused three years ago and then by someone else two years ago.. each one I responded to very different (even though I am the same person).. the first one I wasn't angry in the slightest, and didn't feel I needed to be.. the second abuse I was very angry after, to the point of being dangerous to those around me.. and that's okay too, as long as you work though your anger with others in healthy ways and I highly suggest talking to a professional if you have the option. So in short, feeling like you hate your abuser is just fine, and being angry is fine as well.. it's how you are protecting yourself and what your body needs to feel for you to know you've been hurt badly. I know it can hurt and you may be feeling guilty or like you're "overreacting" with anger - but honestly anger can be a very good emotion. It all depends on how and who you direct your anger at.. Here's a few very good websites for abuse survivors and some anger management tips: Sexual Abuse: https://www.rainn.org/ Physical Abuse: http://psychcentral.com/resources/Abuse/Support_Groups/ Emotional/Mental Abuse: http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/emotional-abuse-help-support-and-recovery/ http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Am-A-Victim-Of-Emotional-Abuse/144025 Anger Management: http://www.fortrefuge.com/Dealing-With-Anger-As-A-Survivor.php http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/controlling-anger.aspx All the best and I'll be thinking of you, Come chat if you ever wish, I'll respond ASAP if I'm not online :) -LouisaCT

This person has done something really horrible to you so I can see why you would hate him. I hated my abuser for a long time so you are not alone

Dont question your feelings on someone who harmed you! Its a good sign that you still have enough power to see that the person who did this to you is weong and not you!

It's completely normal to feel anger toward someone who has hurt you, especially in such a deep way. Remember that emotions themselves are not wrong, it's how you handle them.

If you're being abused, then please get help. Please don't let this happen to you anymore. You should feel angry, hurt, alone, you should feel all this. Talk to someone, get the help you deserve.

You are entitled to any feeling you feel! You don't have to question anything you feel after a traumatic experience.

Of course! It means you are healthy. When you are not healthy, you will repress the anger or dissociate. Now the question is, how will you express the anger?

It's not about "should you" but "can you." Yes, you can feel angry but do you think it's a good way to handle the situation? Perhaps feeling angry would be replaced better by pity. Pity your abuser because they are having difficulty expressing their feelings of hurt and remember not to allow yourself to become abused because that isn't helping you or your abuser in any way, even if you pity them. Either seek help from someone to help them or help them yourself, if you can, and it will help you as well.

Firstly, I want to say I am very sorry you have been abused and I know that it is hard to live with. Secondly, absolutely, you can feel this way because it is really hard for you and you just feel angry because of that.

It's natural to feel anger, hate and even rage toward your abuser. But eventually you'll have to forgive them if you want to heal.