Why do I hate myself so much?
270 Answers
Moderated by Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Updated: Jun 15, 2022
Anonymous
on
Jun 11, 2016
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I keep asking myself , why do I hate myself so much. For the outsiders,im the kind of person they wish to be around. But to me, all I can think of is that negatives. Being judged by literally everyone for being skinny, lack of self confidence and anxiety issues. Feels like I'm just a huge ball of negativity whose existence meant nothing. Being taken for granted and trusting the wrong people is what I'm good at. Staying on bed all day ignoring my responsibilities and yet they ask me to love myself. Little do they know, what am I going through.
Struggling with depression?
Anonymous
on
May 18, 2016
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It's difficult to like myself when I've gone my entire without having felt that anyone cares. I was always the one friend that had to invite people to be involved, and even so I would always end up walking behind everyone. No one ever told me, "I love you", "I care about you," or, "I was just thinking about you." It's hard to keep fighting to like yourself when society has made it clear that it doesn't like you. And yes, people say that what others think don't matter. But, they do matter. What others think of you has just as strong of an effect as who you believe you are in making up your personality. If society doesn't make it clear that I'm accepted, loved, and wanted, then there's no way for me to not ~hate~ myself.
Coulourfuldreams
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May 21, 2016
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Because I failed alot of stuff in the past. And can't get it out of my head and waste more time. Makes me hate my self so much
Anonymous
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Apr 1, 2016
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Sometimes I just feel that I'm not good enough, and can never be. I'll try really hard to achieve the unrealistic goals I'll set for myself and then realize that I can't reach it, which makes me feel really useless therefore leading to self-loathing, thinking like "Why can't I be better?" and "I need to change". Although wanting to change isn't a bad thing, it will be if it's overdone. I sometimes hate myself so much because I'd compare myself to others. I have high expectations for myself, sometimes even being too high; I thought I was special, the main character of the story, but then realize that I wasn't, and I'm just a normal person, living in a normal little world. And the thought of being unable to change much about it frustrates me, leading to self-loathing yet again. It's something like a downward spiral of hate, where you just can't get back up. It's a viscous cycle. But hating our own selves won't help at all; it'll just bring negativity, and if it gets worse, maybe even passing on the negativity to others. You see, negativity is a really influential thing. It's easier to start hating about something compared to loving. And it obviously has to take time to stop hating ourselves; and I wish everyone who is self-loathing to start trying to love themselves, because if they themselves aren't able to love themselves, then who can?
xxsafaxx
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May 29, 2016
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I hate myself sometimes soo soo much because i feel as though i am worthless to the world, to my family, to my friends. As though i cannot do anything to make them happy and that i just mess everything up.
soulglitch
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Mar 26, 2016
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I hated myself due to not feeling connected around the people around me. I felt abnormal when being outside with my friends, like I couldn't relate to what they was talking about what so ever.
TiffanyLauren
on
Aug 4, 2016
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i hate myself so much because i have done a lot of mistakes that made my loved ones disappointed with me. i hate myself because i couldn't bring out the best of me.
WhoIsMar
on
Apr 17, 2016
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It's a self-inflicted feeling, and often comes when you feel that you've messed up, or ruined your life.
SmokeyStar
on
Jan 7, 2017
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For a lot of us, growing up hasn't been the most positive chapter in our lives. A lot of abuse and insulting has come from our own family. You felt like you weren't appreciated, or good at something. Maybe things are happening in your life right now and you feel like no one is on your side. It does not take too long for this to chip away at your self esteem, not at all. This is the monster in most people's lives that destroys them. It almost always starts with other people. Do not search for other people's approval because we do not often think about why other people act like this. We somehow decide there is something wrong with us.
On the contrary. it can have something to do with them hating themselves in the first place. They will make you feel horrible about yourself because that's what they feel. They are only destructive. It never had anything to do with you. Self hate is like a virus. It spreads through contact. The only way to heal yourself is realize there are good qualities you have. Love yourself, love your life. When you can think of one or two good things about yourself, you've begun healing. You might also notice that you enjoy being around your best friends much more than you enjoy being around your family. Some people see in you what they want to see. It is a decision they made and the only way you can begin the healing is to not take them seriously, and everything will be okay.
WOlfDima
on
Apr 23, 2016
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In many psychological ways, this is called the "ongoing error". Means that these kinda feelings like "I hate myself so much" are not going to stay forever, in other words these are temporary feelings. By the time of two weeks or after a month you'll eventually forget this and actually will start loving yourself. (no kidding) the cause of this "ongoing error" disease is sudden anger. Which can be caused by something or someone. But importantly, though the feeling is temporary but yet the person who has "ongoing error" could be in a danger of self harming. A lot of psychologists recommend taking anger management therapies or talking with someone who's close to you as an elder. For more contact me
dancingPillow85
on
Mar 31, 2016
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Because someone or something made you feel bad about yourself. And you believed, that this is what you are.
enlightenedButterfly13
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May 22, 2016
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Because I'm going through depression, and nobody seems to care. But I know that's the depression speaking
LoseYourFearsAnna
on
Jan 26, 2017
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Look at yourself like your own best friend. What would you say to them to comfort them? All these negative thought about you, would you say that to your best friend? You deserve love. Love yourself. Be kind!
disconsolate
on
Apr 8, 2016
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maybe it's because you never see yourself the way someone else sees you? there's this beautiful quote that says, a butterfly is completely oblivious as to how beautiful its wings are, but the rest of the world sees it and they are in awe. now, that's ironic. coming from me. anyway...
Anonymous
on
Jun 16, 2016
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I've discovered that society often causes self-hatred. The thoughts that weight, appearance, and amount of wealth is more important than a kind heart or a creative mind. Honestly, I believe this kind of thinking is wrong, but is much too common. Even the smallest put-downs, whether it be from others or yourself, can cause monumental affects. A Japanese scientist named Emoto conducted a study on words and their impact using two jars of rice in a classroom. One jar was told, "Thank you" everyday, while the other was told, "You fool" everyday. This experiment was conducted over a span of thirty days. By the end of the thirty days, the thanked rice was just as fluffy as when it had been placed in the mason jar, whereas the insulted rice had been rotting. I found this experiment to be not only interesting, but quite alarming and eye-opening. Positivity saves lives... and rice.
Anonymous
on
Mar 30, 2016
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Maybe you're not forgiving yourself for small things. Maybe you're highly critical of your appearance and personality. Maybe you have a hard time letting go of the things you've done in the past, or things done to you. I don't know why you hate yourself because I don't know you, and I'm sorry for that.
Anonymous
on
Apr 13, 2016
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I hated myself so much because I wasn't who I wanted myself to be. I learned that I could change some things, but the others I must accept. I now try to become the best of me.
aeris156
on
Oct 12, 2019
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as someone who hates herself a lot too, it's hard, but i've talked to a lot of people and it seems like there's a common thread: it's easier. it's easier to be mean to yourself than to other people. brains like to latch onto things that make sense, and it's easier to blame yourself, to make yourself a target. it's awful and hard to work through, but it can be done.
Kyle1989
on
May 25, 2016
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The question usually should be not why I hate myself, but rather what is it that the people around me are doing that is making me question myself.
Anonymous
on
Jun 2, 2016
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There are a lot of reasons why you do not love yourself. You may have had a tough childhood and got not enough attention. You may have been bullied and got a trauma after that. You may have not achieved what you wanted. All reasons for hating yourself are in you, all you have to do is figure out what are they and work on them for them to disappear.
