How do you learn to love yourself when you're depressed?
33 Answers
Moderated by Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor
Updated: Mar 14, 2022
Anonymous
on
Jun 4, 2015
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I think that sometimes it takes practice. A lot of practice. It often seems that when we are depressed, we spend a significant amount of time putting ourselves down. And, as we do that, it becomes habit. So, to "unlearn" that habit, I think it's important to make positive statements about ourselves regularly. Maybe put post-it notes up or whatever to remind ourselves. And, with time, those positive self-statements will hopefully become more natural and less forced and, eventually, we love ourselves (even if we are struggling with depression :) ).
TheLizzyMonster
on
Apr 30, 2015
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That's a tough question. I have read some suggestions that tell you to look in the mirror and say only positive things about yourself at least once a day. Physical connection can sometimes help so if you have a significant other or friends who like to give hugs I would encourage that. Physical connection sometimes gives people the feeling of safety and warmth. Try doing things that make you feel like you made a difference. They can be big things, but I want to encourage small goals like "I took the trash out" or "I made cookies today" or "I went on a walk today" or it could even be as small as "I got out of bed today". I know it may seem silly, but the small accomplishments add up. And we have to remember that, sure, big goals may have big rewards, but they also take longer and require a lot of motivation to complete that just isn't there when you're depressed. We have to slowly ease ourselves back into doing things and I find that if I can begin to normalize my life the love for myself will naturally come back with it.
FlowerInDisguise19
on
Jul 23, 2015
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Let's do a very simple exercise.
Take a deep breath.
Close your eyes.
Raise your right hand.
Bring it up to your shoulder length.
Take it behind.
PAT YOUR BACK
This was you congratulating yourself for being the person that you are.
This was you congratulating yourself for having made it till here.
This was you congratulating yourself for not buckling under pressure till now.
Anonymous
on
Dec 14, 2015
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look at all your flaws now say you love them repeat that over and over because you are you and no one can replace you. no matter what anyone says you are perfect in your own way and the world needs you
FizzyReid
on
May 8, 2015
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I've been asked this question a lot. I'm slowly learning how to do this myself. So far I've learned you have to come to senses with the fact most of the sadness and hate you feel towards yourself is things you were taught by people who wanted you to feel this way. It's kinda like soul searching, find yourself embrace your flaws and your insecurities. Always remember your flaws don't define you.
BluSparkles
on
Jun 30, 2015
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Seek the support of others, and focus on the things they say and the love they give you, also focus on giving love to others.
Macie101
on
Aug 25, 2015
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I personally just always think positive and always try to believe in myself. Along with always telling myself I am beautiful and I belong on this earth.
OptimisticOmega
on
Nov 17, 2015
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Learning to love yourself can be really difficult. I believe that the first step to learn to love yourself is to accept who you are. Look at yourself, and realize that this is you. Learn to accept yourself before you learn to love yourself. :)
shiningTree96
on
May 31, 2016
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Depression is just a state of mind , we are humans bound to experience emotions from happiness going to downright sad . Depression is not meant to bring me down but it's teaching me to appreciate life and find motivation even in the smallest of activities. I learnt to be happy in other people's happiness too.
mykenziemarie03
on
Apr 21, 2020
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It is hard, I’ll tell you that. Depression can make us feel hopeless, worthless, and guilty for things that won’t matter in the grand scheme of things. However, a big thing I remember is that you deserve as much love and support as someone who does not have depression. Depression is a serious problem and requires a support system to get better; and the biggest support system should be yourself. Coping with depression is the first step to loving yourself. Accept that you have depression! It does not define you. You are still as worthy of love as everyone else. It is hard to see yourself without the depression, and I understand that. What helps me is I write sticky notes (may sound ridiculous) about things I like about myself and stick them on my mirror. I understand it can be a daunting task to identify things you like about yourself when depressed, but start small. Maybe you’re good at drawing! Maybe you love your music taste! (Of course it’s subjective, but it’s something). Move up next. Maybe there’s a certain aspect of your personality that you enjoy. Caring, trustworthy? It’s true that you are brave just for posting this question and coming to 7cups alone; there’s your first trait. It takes a long time to love yourself; I’m still getting there. But with hard work you’ll get there. :)
Itsacrazylifewelive
on
Jul 20, 2015
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Well I would say start small and look at the little details of your face and admire it. Maybe it's your dimples, maybe it's your smile, whatever it is, love it! Love stems from the small things.
Anonymous
on
Jul 28, 2015
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[| Philosophy wall - stick a piece of paper on your wall and write a new quote every day
[| Philosophy Wall II - Stick another piece of paper and each day write on it 1 new thing you are grateful for
[| Philosophy Wall III - Stick another piece of paper on the wall and each day write 1 thing you love about yourself - tell yourself this even if you don’t believe it, eventually you will be comfortable with these positive traits and learn to accept them.
[| Labels - remove negative labels and replace it with positive ones, you will subconsciously conform to labels, so even if you don’t believe it at first, fake it and pretend.
HopefulJet61
on
Nov 9, 2015
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Always think to yourself this is only temporary! You will have another happy day and you have to fight for yourself just make a list of all the beautiful things about you!
Anonymous
on
Jun 21, 2016
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Last year I was out of work and going through depression...spending everyday in bed and waking up at odd times because I had nothing to be accountable for. At some point I saw an article online about making a "Happiness Jar". I decided to make this jar and use it from November 2015 until December 2016, attempting to write a positive thought or occurrence in my life for every day (or as many days as possible). At the end of the year in December 2016 I will empty the jar and read all of the positive things that happened to me in my life throughout that time! But the catch is - there is no catch. YOU are in control of your Happiness Jar. At any time you can take out 1 or 2 or 5 or all of your Happiness notes and read them to yourself to know that YES there ARE positive and good things in your life. Whenever you feel down you can reach into the jar, read what you wrote to yourself, and love yourself for making the effort to remember that, and all, of the happy thoughts and occurrences in your life!
lovingPenguin
on
Jan 31, 2017
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1. Look back at the great things you have done and tough times endured.
2. Look forward, realising you have the strength and willpower to be trying to help yourself right now - so you are worth helping and that comes from within.
Anonymous
on
Mar 12, 2018
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It helps to learn to love yourself in the little things. Celebrate that you went for a walk. Make a list of the small things about yourself that you love. Ask people you love to tell you something positive about you and write it down. The little things build up.
Anonymous
on
Feb 1, 2022
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This can be hard at times. I think it takes little steps to love yourself. It doesn't happen over night, it take time and self discovery. When you are in that dark place it can be hard to find love for yourself. I find love in the little things. I love nature and all the beauty that it gives us. I think if a higher being could create this for me, that I must be worth something. I think that self care is important. I know we need this to feel love for ourselves. When we take care of ourselves we will feel better and have more confidence in ourselves. I also think that we will feel love for ourselves when we associate ourselves with those that care for us and our well being. It can be hard at times, but like I said before, it takes little steps. Look at the good and you will find something to love about yourself.
kokako
on
Apr 18, 2015
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Drawing on something that my clinical psychologist has helped me with in dealing with my depression, she has wise words; "You need to learn to love yourself before you can love other people." Her practical advice, which I have followed, is to keep a (very private) daily journal in which I record all of my daily activities which give me reasons for loving myself/feeling good about myself.
eternalHero77
on
May 3, 2015
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I have suggestions that could be helpful but way too long to long to explain. However some may be gaining self esteem is one way to help oneself.
SpiritWolfie
on
Nov 3, 2015
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Care as much about yourself as you do for others. , Ask your self "What do I like about myself",....
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