How to talk to your boyfriend about marriage?
Anonymous
on
Feb 1, 2018
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Casually. Just calmly ask his thoughts on getting married, how soon he would marry, etc. You don't have to sit him down or make a deal over it, it's just a simple talk. And chances are, he wants to know how to talk about that same topic.
MindfulJ
on
Feb 2, 2018
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Be explicit about what you want. Your boyfriend should not have to guess what you want. Talk about your ideal future with him, and listen and be open to his ideal future. Avoid being angry with his answers if they are not what you want. Instead, ask why he feels that way. Good relationships are based on communication, which involves both talking and listening.
Renaelb98
on
Feb 7, 2018
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Suggest that you want to get married one day and ask how he feels about it. See if he relates to your feelings or not.
Hope39
on
Feb 7, 2018
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be upfront and honest about your expectations of marriage. share your values, ideas, goals and what you want in life long term. make sure you are ready for marriage and both share the same same goals for a future. that you both want the same thing in life. because marriage is sharing a life with someone, through everything life throws at you. good and bad. it's not the same as dating when you get to just walk away when things go bad in the relationship. marriage is a lifelong commitment that you cannot walk away from that easy and decisions have to be made by both partners not just one.
Anonymous
on
Feb 13, 2018
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So you've been together for a while now, and you find yourself thinking it's time to ask the big question: Where is this going? Is this long-term? Is this "the one?" You know the deal. So when you've gotten serious with someone and you're wondering how to make things progress, how do you bring up marriage (aka the question before THE question)? It's a tough conversation to have, particularly if you're at an age where you don't want to waste time with someone who doesn't want the same things you do. However, you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest about what you want and what your intentions are. Do they see this ending in marriage, or do they even want to get married at all?
The worst part about this conversation (aside from the anxiety it induces beforehand) is often the aftermath. Either you've got to navigate more serious waters in the relationship, or you are faced with breaking up if you don't want the same future. Often, though, you'll be surprised that you and your partner are on the same page after all. But for now, let's stick with the basics: How do you go about bringing up the M word?
1. Get To The Point
This is my favorite way to have any conversation. Keep it simple with something like, "I know that I want to get married someday. Not today or tomorrow, but it is something I want in my future. How do you feel about it?" It's an open-ended question that isn't accusatory and doesn't come with loads of pressure. Avoid statements like, "are you ever going to marry me?" Hopefully, you had the "what are we?" discussion with similar maturity.
2. Start A General Discussion
If getting right to the point freaks you out a bit, then try to start a more general conversation on the topic. If you have a friend who got recently engaged, by the way, don't be afraid to casually bring it up — talk about how old they are, how long they were together before getting engaged. You may be able to at least gauge their interest in marriage or their general feelings about marriage. This is a wise move if you think your boyfriend or girlfriend might have some negative feelings about marriage and you want to avoid an awkward, direct conversation.
3. Don't Try To Be Too Cool
We have definitely all made this mistake, where we act like you don't care about something when we really do. You know how it goes. You pretend that marriage, commitment, and a family aren't important to you. If those things actually aren't important to you, that's totally cool, too. What's not cool is pretending to have different priorities than you do. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to your partner — you'll inevitably start resenting them. So, when it comes to the marriage talk, be honest with yourself and your partner.
4. Don't Assume
Just because your significant other is great with babies and is a wonderful fur parent doesn't mean they want to get married tomorrow and have kids. Don't bring any assumptions into your conversation, or you may be unpleasantly surprised.
5. Skip The Ultimatum
Regardless of how you choose to bring up marriage, an ultimatum simply shouldn't be part of the conversation. We've all probably made this mistake once (I know I have) and you live to regret it. the bottom line is, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, and you certainly shouldn't have to convince someone to marry you.
ErinEnders
on
Feb 21, 2018
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This discussion shouldn't be avoided, because it will show you the status and the direction of your relationship.
Don't be too eager to start a discussion about this, first.
You can start talking about how you see your own families, how do you see other families, what would he like to see in his own family, and other questions which address the subject of family and marriage but not directly about your own marriage. In this way, you can test the waters and see if your boyfriend is ready enough to take such a responsibility. If you feel that he is, you can open a discussion about how he sees your relationship in the future and what plans does he have.
Zakkuchan
on
Feb 21, 2018
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How to talk to your boyfriend about marriage isn't simple. You should get to know what they want int he future then tell them what you want in the future and tell them that you would like to get married at some point in the relationship.
Anonymous
on
Feb 25, 2018
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It is a difficult decision, so it's understandable if it's challenging to talk about. At the same time, if you know him well enough, you could try to find the perfect time and place to start talking about it. For instance, if he's a morning person, you probably don't want to talk about it in the evening. If he likes a particular restaurant, just take him out to that place and then talk. Having a favorable surrounding that makes him feel comfortable will make it easier for you to talk about it. Start by conveying why marriage is important to you and why you believe that you two should get married. All the best!
TheFrienduSeek
on
Mar 9, 2018
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Talk him about your love for him. Tell him you want to get involved more deeper. Tell him about rhe dreams you have for future and your concerns. Assure him that you respect his time and decisions and just communicting what you are feeling. And in now way, you are pressurizing him for making decisions..
Anonymous
on
Apr 8, 2018
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Be clearly, some guys are not good at getting hints. Also start by saying you don't expect to get married tomorrow and are simply wondering about what the future holds for you both.
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