Is it normal for dads to touch your thigh? I do not feel comfortable when this is going on.
Anonymous
on
Mar 27, 2021
...read more
It is not normal for a father to be touching your thighs. I am sure that this makes you feel very uncomfortable. Maybe addressing your dad to find out why he is doing it may help resolve that internal conflict that you are feeling. Tell him how it makes you feel and ask him not to do it. In the event that does not work, go to someone else that you trust and tell them about this event. It may be a sutel way of Grooming you for something more. Please do't keep silent. Tell an adult. I really respect your strength in posting this question. Please stay safe.
Dealing with Teens and Parents?

Sunisshiningandsoareyou
on
Aug 3, 2021
...read more
Hey there, thankyou for reaching out. They say, there are 2 kinds of touch - a good touch and a bad touch.
People feel warm and caressed with the good touch, it could be a handshake, a pat, or a hug. Specially touch from known ones and loved ones feels more comfortable and warm. However when a touch makes us feel uncomfortable or uneasy and makes us question if it is okay or not - it might be a bad touch and never okay to come from anyone be it even a loved one or someone we respect.
It is normal for parents to hug their kids or pat their back but personally I don't think touching thighs is appropriate specially when it appears you're feeling uncomfortable about your father touching your thigh, which appears falling in the category of bad touch and so normal to feel uneasy because of it. Super okay to reach out to someone who you confide in to share about it, or if comfortable to politely ask your father to not touch as it makes you feel uncomfortable ~ hoping he didn't do it intentionally, please do be mindful of the situation, in all cases remember you deserve to feel safe and comfortable, and voice your discomfort. Take care 💛

greentea12034
on
May 20, 2021
...read more
It can be normal, but it depends on the family. Don't feel pressured to accept something you dislike because "it happens to other people." If it makes you uncomfortable you should definitely speak up! You should not have to deal with any unwanted behavior that you don't want to experience. If he doesn't respect you and continues doing it, you should let an adult or someone you trust know and get their help. It's possible that he didn't intend to be inappropriate, but how you feel about it is more important. It can be intimidating to speak up but your safety and comfort matters more.
Anonymous
on
Apr 11, 2021
...read more
Hi, I think that if your dad is touching your thighs in a way that makes you uncomfortable, it probably isn't normal. It's possible, of course, that there is no inappropriate intention but either way if it makes you feel uncomfortable it's worth asking him to stop, and saying you aren't comfortable with it. You don't need to justify your feeling uncomfortable, and he should stop if it bothers you. His reaction to your asking may also help you understand whether he mean anything by it. Good luck, and remember that if someone behaves inappropriately towards you, it is not your fault.
bunnycakez
on
Apr 12, 2021
...read more
It's surely not normal for fathers to touch you in any way that make you feel uncomfortable, because that is a form of sexual harassment and could lead into worse things if you ignore it. Fathers are there to be there for you emotionally and physically also take care of you, not doing things like touching you in a weird way. You have to stand up and tell him No and stop because he will keep doing those things if you don't speak up. But if he continues you need tell an trusted adult before it gets worse. YOU CAN DO IT.

Milkalicious
on
May 25, 2021
...read more
I wouldn't be able to say if it was normal for fathers to touch their children's thighs, but if you feel uncomfortable then it's obviously something that isn't okay for you. It doesn't matter if it's normal or not if it makes you uncomfortable if you know what I mean. If this continues to happen and you remain uncomfortable about the situation then you can try to reach out to someone with who you can share this, perhaps another trusted adult. No one should be touching you in a way that you aren't okay with, no matter who they are. Personally, my father has never done this to me but I can't say so for others.
Anonymous
on
Jan 5, 2022
...read more
If you don't feel comfy, let it be known. If he continues doing it then you need to talk to someone about it. Its not normal. My father used to do it to me till I told him I wasn't comfy and then he stopped. He understood that I didn't take it as play and I took it seriously. I'm sorry that this is happening to you and I'm sorry that you don't like it. if it gets WORSE then you need to tell someone for sure so that they can help you.

Smrtbibliophile
on
Apr 22, 2023
...read more
You asked if it was normal, and I think it can be. Different people have different relationships with their fathers and I even knew some females who were comfortable changing around their Dad.
However you stated that you are uncomfortable and that's the answer. It's your body and if someone is doing something to your body that makes you uncomfortable you're allowed and should tell them that you're uncomfortable and that they need to stop. To me, whether or not it's appropriate lies in how the person responds. if they apologize and stop it's likely it wasn't meant to cause you harm or distress. If they get defensive or refuse to respect the boundary it's inappropriate in my opinion.
I don't have a relationship with my Dad as he passed when I was young. I was excited to get a stepdad and have a new dad but felt uncomfortable around him but couldn't say. Later he would not adhere to boundaries and was not a good person, so I also think it's important to trust your gut.
I don't make my children hug or kiss anyone if they don't want to - even family, because it's important for me to teach them that it's their body, they have ownership over it, and they have a right to feel comfortable in interacting with people.

BrockS
on
Apr 30, 2021
...read more
I personally would not consider that appropriate, but the answer depends on your personal boundaries and what you do and do not feel comfortable with. I have a sister and my dad has never put his hands on her thigh - for any reason. My parents are big fans of showing physical affection, but they'd never touched me or my sister anywhere other than giving a hug and touching our arm or shoulder.
If you feel uncomfortable with your dad touching you that way, you have every right to voice your concern and ask him to stop doing that because it violates your personal space.

SparklingSeashells
on
Jul 26, 2021
...read more
Hey! Defining normal is difficult but if you feel uncomfortable with it then it's not okay. What his intentions are, I don't know but that doesn't matter, it isn't okay if you aren't comfortable with it and you have said this to him. I wonder if you have said this to him because if he is still doing it, then that makes it a bit more wrong. Sorry you are feeling uncomfortable and all the best. Do feel free to connect with a listener if you would like some more 1 on 1 support, we are a friendly bunch!
Anonymous
on
Apr 9, 2021
...read more
No anything that is making you feel uncomfortable is not ok, even if it is your dad who is doing it, you can remove yourself from the situation or you can confront them by telling them that you don't feel comfortable with them doing that you can also tell another family member who cares about you to address the issue with you and let them know what is going on. It is not ok for anybody to touch someone without their permission especially if it is making you feel uncomfortable. If the behavior continues do tell another adult
Anonymous
on
Apr 12, 2021
...read more
When someone touches you in a way that feels uncomfortable, your options to respond are in the thousands - you have a lot to choose from - you can walk away - which is to talk with your feet - you are free to make a big production of it if you want - or you can simply walk away: "No communication IS communication." The intention or message of the person violating your personal space is often a mystery - they may feel they are being "loving" or "caring" - they may be unaware of how you feel and they may not care how you feel about it. You may not want a confrontation so you can walk away - if the person pursues you - you are free to create lots of distance - mentally, emotionally, physically - because they are then communicating that your feelings are irrelevant to them. I've never had this issue with my dad - I have no memory of my dad ever touching me. I never saw my dad touch anyone. None of my relatives were touchy feel people. As a teen, I had a boyfriend that I was totally comfortable hugging and touching - no issues at all - you have the right to walk away when someone touches you in a way that feels uncomfortable - as a warning, sometimes a man touches you when it feels awesome but it turns out he's a predator so always keep your guard up until you know them and their friends and their family and their exes ... decent people remain friends with their exes ... unless their ex turned out to be a monsters ... which is common.

JanetAtDrexel
on
May 8, 2021
...read more
The definition of normal varies from family to family. But what does not vary from family to family is the right to feel safe (comfortable). Just like with people outside of the family, you have the right to say when and how people can touch you.
It can be difficult to navigate these conversations with close family but it needs to happen if you are not comfortable. If you have a close family member, maybe you could practice this conversation and work out what you want and need to say.
Again, this is not about normal. This is about your right to feel comfortable and safe.

frankyou
on
Sep 15, 2021
...read more
First of all, thank you for bringing this up. Your comfort matters and anything that jeopardizes it deserves to be talked about. Secondly, if the way your father touches you causes discomfort, it isn't normal. Regardless of his intentions, the impact his actions have on you matters.
If you feel confident enough to talk to your father about the issue directly, that's an excellent option going forward, but it's also completely understandable if you don't. If that's the case, another possible way to address the situation is to make a list of the people you do feel comfortable discussing the nature of your issue with, preferably a trusted authority figure you feel has your best interest in mind. (A counselor or therapist, a teacher, police officers, etc.) They'll be able to help you plot out the best course of action and lend their support to you in the process. You don't have to be alone in this.

glassmarble
on
Sep 27, 2021
...read more
It's hard to define what is "normal" because every person and father-child relationship is different. However, if the touching makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is certainly not okay, normal or not. If you feel you have a good relationship with your father, you can address the issue and see what he has to say about it and tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable. If you don't feel safe doing that or if you do address it and he doesn't stop, then I think it is necessary to get help, because he does not have the right to touch you without your consent! A trusted adult, like another family member or counsellor, can help you. I can understand that it can be scary or embarrassing to talk about something like this, but it is YOUR body and it is your right to say no to any physical contact, no matter if it comes from a stranger or a family member! Stay strong and take care!
Anonymous
on
Mar 2, 2022
...read more
it depends on how old you are like if you are a young girl and your dad keeps on doing it and you look uncomfortable and it seems like he does not care cause he still does it then i think you should tell him to stop if he does not then you need to talk to someone about it ... but if you are like 20 or older you are an adult and you should have the right to not to be touched in a spot you do not want to be touched in and if you tell him to stop and he does not then you need to remove yourself from him cause he is going to think it is okay to touch you and it's not it's your body, not his

WhenTheTimeComes
on
Jul 22, 2022
...read more
It is not normal for your father to touch you in any way that causes you to feel uncomfortable. You wouldn't feel uncomfortable if it was not inappropriate, please trust your instincts.
Please seek support for this, talk about it with someone you trust, and address this with your other parent or an adult you feel safe with (it can be a teacher, a grandparent..).
This is not your fault and you should receive the support of an adult to address the situation. I would not advise you to address the situation by yourself, but if this rehappens before you could receive the support of an adult, please know that you are entitled to say no, this is your body and no one can touch it without your consent, not even your parents.

HopefulBambi
on
Aug 28, 2022
...read more
Firstly, it is really brave of you to come forward and share this with us. Give yourself a big pat on the back for that alone, reaching out can be scary and you did that first major step! Because this type of behavior your dad is doing is making you uncomfortable, you have every right to not have it done to you, it's your own personal space and body. Your voice is powerful, reach out to a trusted adult in your life and let them know about this if you'd like for them to advocate for you on your behalf.

Daretoberare91
on
Jan 22, 2023
...read more
It is very inappropriate for your parent or anyone older than you to touch you under the belt without your consent if you feel uncomfortable tell the person if it continues tell someone (better if it's an adult) who you feel safe telling, and they may take it from there. You should NEVER be put in that situation because it could lead to something that could scar and possibly traumatize you for life. Don't let anyone choose what happens to you when it comes to things like this, it's your body. Don't let anyone take advantage because they think that they can.
Anonymous
on
Aug 2, 2021
...read more
I would argue that it is not normal nor is it appropriate, especially as you do not feel comfortable. You do not consent to this, and he is breaching boundaries and trust. If this is a continuous occurrence, and has happened on multiple occasions I would seek help regardless. Do you have a family member, or trusted adult whom you can discuss this with? I would personally tell a teacher, doctor, social worker, or mental health professional. When you speak to someone, tell them how many times, when, where etc. They will help you. I hope you are doing okay as it sounds an awful experience to go through.
Related Questions
Why do I get so irritated at my mom when she tells me do things? It's like anytime she instructs me to do anything it bothers me and I feel like she just wants to nag at me.
2 Answers
How do I overcome caring about my parents opinions/ideas of me?
1 Answers
I am suffering from mental health issues but my mom doesn't take it seriously. What do I do?
1 Answers
I accidentally told my father that I hate him because I was overridden with emotion. Now both my parents refuse to speak to me. What do I do?
1 Answers