Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I'm stressed out and when I try to go to sleep I can't shut off my thoughts. What should I do?

271 Answers
Last Updated: 02/21/2022 at 11:19am
I'm stressed out and when I try to go to sleep I can't shut off my thoughts. What should I do?
★ This question about Sleeping Well was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Take the first step toward feeling better
Begin your therapy journey today and receive $25 off (use code 25OFF7C)
Moderated by

Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner

Counselor

I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 7:01pm
For me, it helps to have a notebook and pen by my bed so that I can write down all my thoughts. This way, they are out of my head and written down so I can review this later.
Profile: JustSomeone1979
JustSomeone1979
November 8th, 2015 3:55am
I either count backwards from 100 or listen to music and focus on one part of it. The bass, the drums, the singer's voice. Sail by Awolnation is a good one because it has so much going on that trying to isolate one detail of it keeps you distracted from your thoughts. Lindsey Stirling is amazing to listen to as well, especially the songs moon trance and elements
Profile: ManyFaceMan
ManyFaceMan
December 12th, 2015 11:34am
best is to think about a wonderful experience you encountered and keep it there. sleep will follow shortly if you linger long enough.
Anonymous
December 12th, 2015 2:17pm
You should listen to some music. Not to think about that too much . Drink or eat something. Hope everything will be ok!
Anonymous
December 13th, 2015 2:33am
I think that the best thing to do would be to listen to calming music or trying some yoga. It worked for me very well :)
Anonymous
December 13th, 2015 10:50am
You should try and get the doctor to prescribe you with sleeping pills as they can really help you shut off your thought and make you sleep better
Anonymous
December 13th, 2015 5:12pm
Things that help me are hugging a teddy bear. Fighting the thoughts by saying in my head they are not relevant, writing down what I am thinking so it gets out of my head, and thinking about other things.
Profile: Meghan11
Meghan11
December 16th, 2015 3:33am
I used to have a lot of trouble falling asleep, especially when I was in school still. I've found that it helps to remove all electronics at least 30 minutes before I go to sleep and wind down with a good book. Sometimes I'll get stuck reading when I hit a good part, but I'm usually ready to sleep after a few chapters!
Profile: cuteava
cuteava
December 16th, 2015 4:17am
i know it sounds crazy, but think of complete blackness, just be encased in darkness. don't form thoughts, sentences, words, letters, nothing. just focus on the dark, and you'll be asleep in no time.
Profile: HelpfulJake
HelpfulJake
December 16th, 2015 5:41am
What makes you happy? I find what works for me is trying to focus on something that will clear my mind. For me it's hockey! I absolutely adore hockey and all of its aspects. If I'm having lots of trouble sleeping with lots on my mind I'll close my eyes and try and create the ideal dream world. I'll pretend I'm a hockey player and my coach is directing me on what the next play is. Sometimes I'll even add in my favorite players around me and allow myself to just drift off with that in my mind!
Profile: ladylas
ladylas
December 16th, 2015 8:37am
listen to easy listening music or listen to audiobook to shut or block or avoid your thought
Profile: KhadijaS
KhadijaS
December 16th, 2015 8:06pm
Usually I have trouble shutting off my thoughts because I'm focusing so much on getting rid of them. Instead, I try to observe them and go into deep details. For example, say I'm awake because I can't stop thinking about something embarrassing I said today. I'll think about what I said, and I'll dissect the sentence to understand which part contributed to my feeling. I think "huh, that's interesting, that little word is the cause for my feeling this way." I'll make a mental note and think about that one word. I'll laugh at how such a small word has so much power. I'll think about how that word looks on the page. I'll silently observe the whole memory, and pretend I'm filing it away as research for the next time. This way, I feel I've adequately prepared for the future, and the dissection and analysis allows my brain to feel that I've addressed the issue. Usually, at this point, I also fall asleep easily because I've earned it and put the irksome thought to rest. Hope this helped!
Profile: CuddlyOasis98
CuddlyOasis98
December 17th, 2015 6:49pm
You should try solving the problem that's bothering you. Then maybe you could do something to get your mind off stress like some hobby
Profile: caringDew80
caringDew80
December 17th, 2015 7:42pm
Try writing your thoughts in a journal, and then take the time to reflect on them. After doing that, your mind should be cleared.
Profile: Stevesoundboard
Stevesoundboard
December 17th, 2015 8:40pm
Focus on your breathing. Manage your breaths, with a long 6 second inhale, followed by a 4 second exhale. For some people, it also helps to imagine that you are a drawing on a chalkboard. Slowly, starting at your toes, imagine that you are being erased, inch by inch. As it moves up your body, relax each area that has been erased. You'll be asleep in no time!
Profile: AChildAtHeart
AChildAtHeart
December 18th, 2015 9:45am
Reframe your thoughts by asking yourself: 1. what's "pour" and "contre" your worries 2. Is it based on facts or visceral? 3. Is it out of context? Also, you can read a book (not ebook) to sleep more easily
Anonymous
December 18th, 2015 11:52pm
Close your eyes and sing a song that helps you relax. Make sure to sing it soft enough to make you sleep!
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 1:30am
same here. what I do? i don't try to go to sleep. get up and do whatever you want to do, watch tv, read books,, etc. try something that would put to sleep other than just think.
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 11:25am
One of your options is relaxation therapy, I help to relax your brain and lots of it focuses on breathing techniques, look it up it's pretty effective.
Profile: Kumbong
Kumbong
December 20th, 2015 2:34pm
Do you usually do exercise? if say no, you'd better to do it right now. it makes you refresh and relaxed. one more thing that I want to advise you, it is 'keep a diary'. you just write down everything from your head focused on emotinal express. it would be great to organize your thoughts.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 8:09am
try to be at the more peaceful place. for example outdoor. Nature could give u more peaceful heart. Whenever the thought comes, try to have a deep breathing and clean up ur thought.
Profile: lizlistens721
lizlistens721
December 23rd, 2015 7:32pm
That's happened a lot to me, and I tend to use either ASMR role-play videos or guided meditation videos on YouTube to help me fall asleep when that happens. It gives me something to focus my mind on that is also relaxing, and facilitates sleep! Hope it helps you, too!
Profile: PuddlesAndPetrichor
PuddlesAndPetrichor
December 25th, 2015 5:20pm
I am stressed pretty much all the time. There's always a test I need to study for, a project I need to work on, an event I need to plan... my life's pretty hectic. And I do lie awake almost every night just thinking about everything I need to do. That's why I take a few steps to help me sleep. I avoid sugary foods and caffeine right before bed, and I drink a glass of water instead. I leave my phone in another room (if it's with me, I'm going to stay up for hours). But one of the techniques I use is to keep a notebook beside my bed. If I have an idea, a positive/negative thought, or if I just want to write, I'll write in it, and it really helps clear my mind. At times I like to look back at what I've written, and they're just nice little memories.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2015 9:19pm
Build in one hour of down time with no technology before you go to sleep. Develop a ritual that you enjoy. Read a book, spend time with loved ones, straighten up or prepare for the next day.
Anonymous
December 27th, 2015 9:00am
I have some tips for you, I recommend writing your thoughts on a piece of paper and not keeping everything inside you, just let it out, it is completely helpful. The other thing I recommend is to imagine stairs and as you go downstairs count from 10 to 1....... When you finish, you will see a door that is designed the way you want it to be designed and on the doorknob, your name is written on it, imagine opening the door and you will see a beautiful room designed the way you want it to be designed, imagine throwing yourself on a chair in the center of the room, you feel relaxed. This is your special room that you enter to feel relaxed and nobody can enter it but you. These two techniques that I talked about work so please try them and you will doze off and shut off your thoughts. :)
Anonymous
December 27th, 2015 4:47pm
Maybe you can read a little bit or listen to some music, until you get tired. You can also do some muscle relaxing exercises x
Profile: Miranda1999
Miranda1999
December 27th, 2015 11:10pm
I think one of the best things to do is to shut your eyes, take deep breaths and focus on your breathing. Or you can try to think about something else like if I can't sleep I think about the person I love and daydream and then I just drift off :)
Profile: Nithou
Nithou
December 30th, 2015 8:18pm
Take some deep breaths through your mouth, focus on your breathing, nothing else, just keep breathing and count ten breathings, it'll allow you to refocus on the moment and gain some calm. If things are making you nervous, just take a piece of paper and write them down (do not type them, write them do it !), it'll allow you to ease your mind and get rid of most of them. If you can, try some relaxation methods (Headspace is a great way to get started), all this can help you calm down and ease your sleep.
Anonymous
December 31st, 2015 4:16pm
Maybe try to meditate an hour or so before going to sleep? Even 5 minutes of meditation could be helpful.
Profile: Supporter0498
Supporter0498
December 31st, 2015 11:35pm
I try to before I go to sleep, turn off my tv or phone, and relax in bed. It can help you get your thoughts together!