Moderated by
Jennifer Geib, LCSWR
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
1:1 chats (up to 5 days/week). - My therapy is non-judgmental and focuses on emotions and motivation to accomplish your goals or overcome your struggles.
Top Rated Answers
Think about what the other person might think first. Put yourself in their shoes. Most people don't appreciate being lied to. People like someone who is genuine.
That's a tricky questions I'd say because you're so used to doing it would be the main reason. Lying isn't always a bad thing so it depends when and why you're using it.
I used to really struggle with lying when I was younger - I lied about things that I didn't even need to lie about, such as what I'd eaten for lunch or what I did over the weekend. It all related back to low self-esteem, and feeling that what I did wasn't the "right" thing to do.
To stop being a compulsive liar, it's important to think before you respond to someone and, if you do lie, immediately correct what you said. Just tell whomever you were speaking to that you misspoke, or that you're tired. Or, if you want to stop lying almost immediately, tell them you lied. Being aware and telling the truth becomes easier every day you go without lying.
Think will this come back to hurt me or someone I love. Tell yourself that what you are doing is not right!
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2016 10:55am
I think one can be by trying their best not to lie about things, starting a few day by day and gradually not lying at all
Anonymous
November 5th, 2016 9:28am
From myself being a compulsive liar I made myself pause and count back from 10 if i felt like i was about to lie, lying can't solve anything and lying just to make you own situation seem more important then somebody else's can lead to things getting out of hand very quickly. Thats what you need to think about.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2016 6:26pm
I have found that the truth generally comes out at some point. When the truth has been masked with a lie, the person or people you have lied to have to accept both the lie and the truth rather than just initially the truth. Always better to be honest, as scary as it may be!
Take a minute before you lie, breathe, and ask yourself, will this hurt anyone? If no, it is okay, but not usually nessecarry, but if it will, then block it from your mind. Take the lie out of your head and throw it off a building.
Lying is something that everyone struggles with at one point in their lives, whether is be little white lies or lies that could totally change your life. Every time you have something oh want to share, think through everything you want to share and ask your self, is it true ? Will someone be hurt if I say this ? Think through things and hopefully we can together get out of the spiral of lies
The only thing I could think of is: tell little truths. It all depends what you lie about in the first place but maybe write down one truth a day and read it out loud you then could become accustomed to not lying.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2016 12:09am
When you trust people enough to let them know the truths that you deal with, is so much more valuable to them and to you what you've been going through, if that makes any sense
Teach yourself to tense up less. Sometimes, your mind is so overwhelmed or stressed you can't control to lie. It's like shaking while trying to take a sip from a glass of water, it just doesn't work. Try to chill back, listen to nature, take deep and long breaths, meditate, just try to lay back a little and teach yourself to not lie out of compulsation.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2017 6:51pm
You need to face the truth. That is the hardest thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. Being a compulsive liar eats away at your core because you are always worried about others finding out the truth and having them find out that you are lying. People think lying will give them a sense of security and confidence, which is not something people need to lie to have. People need the truth, and sometimes you have to face the truth head on.. start with the little things and see how you feel telling the truth. If you start with baby steps and work your way slowly to not having to lie anymore, you will be okay. This is something everyone goes through, you are not alone.
Keep a journal where you write down what you lied about every time you lie. Over time, seeing everything you said down on paper will make you want to stop. Also, think of lying to the ones you love. Why do you want to cheat them of the truth? These two tricks helped me a lot in overcoming this
The fact that you are aware that you are a compulsive liar, you need to understand that the mind constructs itself from behavioral patterns. Accepting things as they are.... Even if it means accepting yourself... Will lead you to living in truth.
Remember that all of your actions have a consequence. Some better than others but if you keep lying about things in life you'll be causing more trouble than anything else
Anonymous
July 20th, 2017 1:48pm
Be very active and mindful of what you say. Compulsive lying typically starts with half-truths, and bigger and bigger lies are made to try to hide the lying. Listen to yourself when you speak, and ensure that you always say the full truth, not just part of it.
Often times, people who lie a lot have a deep, subconscious feeling of inadequacy. You first need to ask yourself about why you lie and understand it. An understanding of why you do it will help you to transcend those feelings and eventually reduce your need to feed those feelings.
shift attention to a new you
like a truth teller, honest person
don't fight with negative states
work to build a positive new one
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2017 3:35pm
First of all, sit down and think about the 'lies' you are telling. Are they affecting people negatively? If so, consider this... "Would I like it if someone told me this?". On the other hand, white lies are harmless.. When they're kept to a minimum level. Constant white lies may turn into compulsive lying. Tell the truth. Whether it hurts or not, people always like a truthful person. (I'm brutally honest to people, that's why I'm often asked for opinions).
Anonymous
November 21st, 2017 7:48am
There isn't a quick or easy answer to how to stop a compulsive behavior. One little step at a time, and there are going to be setbacks. But, dedication, courage, determination, and stubbornness work well. Study and practice, years of it.
Trust me, it's worth it
One of the tricks I used when I was young was asking myself if I can remember all the lies I tied together. Things won't make sense if you forget one thing you made up. It's embarrassing when people find you out and then everything else feels like a lie. Realizing that what I have already in my life is good enough also helped end lying. I didn't need to make up how terrible my life was because I didn't need the attention anymore. I found other ways to fill in that gap so I didn't feel like I had to lie to make my life seem either horrid or great.
First of all, props to you for acknowledging that! Everyone tells smaller or bigger lies every day, and by being aware of how much you lie and how it affects you and the ones around you is a great start. I also struggle sometimes with this, and a lot of times is actually easier for everyone involved to just say the truth. This way you don't have to live with the stress that they find out and so on. I would say there are two ways to work around it. First, if it is an important thing you have to tell someone and you find yourself prone to hiding the truth, message that person in advance that you have to tell them something in person and say in right away when you meet, so you do not start creating scenarios in your head. Secondly, if it is a small lie you find yourself telling, just try to make a joke out of it: just kidding...I actually did this instead.
I hope this helps! You have the power to change, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
First, have some compassion for yourself. Keep in mind that everybody lies at some point in their lives. Second, try to see if you can discover a pattern of your lies. What do you lie about the most? When do you lie? What are you trying to cover up by lying? Try to get under the surface of your lies.
Seeking professional help is probably the best thing to do in this situation. Otherwise it's a good step to anaylse yourself and think about the reasons and situations in which you find yourself lying.
The first step is to be aware of it, then talking about it is an opportunity to find what is triggering this behavior.
First ask yourself what positives you get from lying, how does it benefit you. Once you have recognised this you have tolook for the triggers that cause it, it might be being in a particular situation, or with someone who you feel you have to lie to. Catch yourself every time you attempt to do it, mentally acknowledge it. Instead remember that you are trying to change either because of the effect its having on you, a relationship or any other circumsance. Finally come clean. It's scary, yes and it can have repercussions, but once its out thats it, the weight is lifted off your shoulders. In the future continue to recognise the points when you would do it, and instead pride yourself for not doing it. People lie for many reasons, i would tend to look behind the lying itself for the issue causing you to lie and attempt to deal with that.
Just be honest. I know it will be hard but nobody deserves to be lied to. I was in a relationship with a person and its difficult. You never know when they are lying or being truthful.
Try to catch yourself lying. Try to tell the truth times where you would usually lie. Maybe talk to a professional about it.
Anonymous
March 4th, 2018 3:56pm
If you want to stop being a compulsive liar, you can see why you would lie in the first place and decide upon if it's a fair action to take, after finding if it's not beneficial than you can choose whether to change your actions or not.
Related Questions: How can I stop being a compulsive liar?
I have very rapid mood swings, what's the best way to manage them so no one gets hurt?I find myself thinking of people as useless and tedious. What's wrong with me?Why do I feel worse after crying?Are psychopaths necessarily bad people? What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?Am I depressed or just sensitive? How do you know if you're truly happy?I can't stop crying for days on end. What do I do?Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?How do I prevent negative thinking?