I've just come to terms with being transgender. How do I come out to my girlfriend of many years?

Although I can not tell you exactly how you should do this, I will tell you that you should only do this when you are ready. This is a big moment in your life, and I hope it goes well, but it is also important to consider all possible outcomes.

Well, first it's great that you're coming to terms with yourself. Don't rush this process, it's often easier talking to people about this if you understand how you feel about this yourself. Once you're more confident with that, explaining being transgender to anyone will be slightly easier. However, it can be incredibly difficult as we worry about the other person's reaction. But i would suggest going about it simply, try not to over complicate it. Possibly mention the topic or don't mention it at all and just talk about how you feel and express yourself but softly and slowly explain how you feel. If you've been together a while then hopefully you feel comfortable in her company. However, don't be surprised if she doesn't know what to say or seems different. People take these things at their own pace. But always try to educate them if they don't fully understand

If they're initially taken aback, don't take this too personally because a loved one transitioning is a big change in one's life. Just know that in a relationship, your role is to support your partner, so if they care for you it shouldn't change the way that they see you.

Have an open conversation with her. It's part of your identity, it's not something that you can avoid. If she loves you, and if she respects you, she'll understand. It's much better to talk to her than to hide a part of yourself.

Start with low-key making conversation about the topic, learn their beliefs, their view points, how they feel about it. Throw son hints. If they are the type to be against it or uncomfortable with who you truly are, maybe they aren't the best thing to be in your life. If they truly loved you for you, they should accept and love you unconditionally no matter who you are. I can't tell you do this or do that. This is simply my thoughts and feelings of this. Maybe after a few conversations of the topic of transgender and you feel they are accepting of it, go ahead, tell them who you are.

Just tell her have a good talk and tell her that you are still you and say you can’t lie anymore because im a transgender male/female and you’re you 💜 and that you still love her and hope fully she loves you back and (and please remember that you are not alone ok because there is a lot of people going through the same thing ok) and so if she really loves you she should support you how ever you feel or look and some people will try judge you but there is still people love you out there

I personally am a Trangender listener on here. It is never easy to come out to anyone! This I know from coming out to my partner. But just try to explain to them calmly and as best as you can! Best of luck! Feel free message anytime! This sounds like a very stressful situation. But just take it day by day. The worst she can say is "I don't like that." And even then some are just stuck in their ways and/or beliefs. It can't be helped. Best of luck dear. Like I said if you need me, by all means pm me!

I am in a position, where I'm having to come out to my boyfriend as nonbinary. The first piece of advice I want to give you, is be open to listening to her side of things, as you're not only here to come out and happily be free to live as your authentic self, but to educate and to answer any questions. It may be hard when your partner can be invalidating, and emotions seep out, but being neutral and calm (both you and her - she needs to be calm too) helps to keep the conversation smooth. It can help to ask if she knows any transgender people and bring it up in general conversation. If she does, this may help as then you can see how she feels about them. If she seems positive, then you can ask about how she would feel if someone she really cares about realised they were transgender. It may also help to see what her thoughts on sexuality are. It would help smoothen things if she's attracted to you regardless of gender, but at the same time, she's grown to love your body. As it's your body, and hormones shouldn't change the same flesh you are made of. However there can be issues if she isn't attracted to women (or men, whether you're AFAB or AMAB). It's important to be with someone you are sexually compatible with, as sexuality isn't a choice. If transitioning means this part would struggle. You need to figure out if you're able to change how things are during intimate times, or if it's not going to work. It can help to express your emotions and give some backstory on how you realised you were transgender. To describe how it makes you feel, to be given the chance to transition, and what benefit is would have on your life. As a partner, your happiness is their happiness and vice versa. If talking about this in a positive light helps them to support and care about what changes you're making, that would be worthwhile. Good luck out there, and I hope your relationship lasts a lifetime x

You need to tell her that you'll always love her. Just because you have figured out who you really are doesn't mean that you don't wish to be with her anymore. Having someone to come out to, someone that you can trust, is an absolute blessing. If she truly loves you and sees a future with you she will see a future with whichever version of you that you need to be to be happy. The fear is your biggest issue right now, fear of change and fear of letting people know. Sit her down and be open and honest with her. Peoples reactions can actually surprise you. She may say she knew it all along but didn't want to push, pry or poke you into realizing how unhappy you were.

Coming to terms with being transgender is rarely easy and coming out can be super hard. To start, try and figure out what you girlfriend understands about being transgender. Has she never heard of it before? Does she know everything about? The less she knows, the more you will have to try to educate so that she understands what you are saying to her. When I came out to my parents they didn't understand anything about nonbinary, but I didn't think about that and it went badly just because they didn't understand and I wasn't prepared to help them understand. Explaining to your girlfriend that this doesn't change who you are you are still the person they fell in love with and that you still love them, you have just grown into yourself fully is a good thing to mention. Address her fears, her first thoughts are going to be negative, even if she is the most supporting person on the planet. In her head, this is a big change, and while you've had time to come to terms, shes having to understand everything right in front of you. Give her time to think, pauses in conversations are okay! Answer her questions, and if she isn't asking them, let her know that you are there to answer them!

Sit her down and talk to her, if she really loves you she’ll stand by you

I was in the same position. Be honest with yourself 1st and then be honest with her about how you have feeling. Coming tonrerms about how you are ia not an easy ride for you and certainly not for her as she may feel betrayed. Talking is the beatvpolicy but be ready for questions that you may not yet have answers for. Try and re assure her that its not her thats made you feel this way kts tje way you have felt and feel that she is the only person you can trust to tell. Give her time to digest what you have said. Good luck.

This could be considered naivety but when you have known someone for so long, you tend to pickup on the little things done by the person, their thoughts and feelings and habits. You might have expressed you were questioning your identity to her before or maybe you hadn't. But usually people do pick up that something is up and who knows you telling her that you are trans would not come as a surprise or maybe it will. There is no wrong or right way of coming out to a loved one. You come out when you're ready, in your own terms and not because you're pressured. All that matters is that you are comfortable with yourself and who you are. I have faith in you. I wish you good luck! I hope that her love and support only grows because coming out to someone takes a lot of strength and you are truly strong, my friend.

Just do it in your own way however you feel comfortable. She loves you and wants you to be happy so just be open and honest. Being true to yourself is also being true to her and she will see that :) and I’m sure there will be new things the two of you can bond over and maybe even new things you can do and talk about together. it might open a whole new world for you guys and you will be so happy you did it. I know that things like this can be hard but just know that it’s all for the pursuit of happiness

My first piece of advice is to come out on your own terms! Do it at a time you feel comfortable and relaxed, a time when you feel at peace. As well, be honest! It will help both your peace of mind and your relationship if you tell her the truth about your gender :) Know that her reaction is only a part of coming to terms with your gender, and that if she does not react well it does not make you any less valid. Please always remember that who you are is the most valid person you can be! :)

Hi. First, I just want to say that I think it's wonderful that you've discovered this about yourself. I can imagine that you've been feeling a wide assortment of emotions. Second, I really believe that your girlfriend will not be completely in the dark about this... on some level, she will have sensed that something has been "going on" with you for a long time, but perhaps was never able to put her finger on it. So, you won't be coming at her from left field. Third, however she chooses to respond is HER RESPONSIBILITY. Of course, you want to be kind, loving, and respectful in the tone of voice you use, the moment (and location) you pick in which to tell her, and in the words you choose to communicate your experience. Agree on a time to have an important conversation, and then... just tell her what you've come to know is a deep truth about yourself. Reassure her that this decision has nothing to do with her, your feelings for her, your relationship together, or anything she has (or hasn't) done -- this is about YOU. Remember that how she chooses to respond is all up to her, and not your responsibility. No one can "make" anyone feel a specific way, no matter what they say or do -- she is the ruler of her own reactions, feelings, and behaviours. Finally, trust that your decision in sharing this with her will allow BOTH of you an opportunity to live a life of authenticity and honesty - which is beautiful goal to achieve - even if it means that you decide not to stay together.

Congratulations with coming to terms with yourself in that way. I would find a time where you and your girlfriend are in a safe and happy place to talk about something you found out about yourself. Explain how you are feeling and what your identity means to you. Explain how you want your relationship to change with this information coming out. It is understandable to be nervous so please take a moment and breathe before you say anything. It can be stressful and I can never understand the anxiety behind what you must be feeling. You are heard and seen, So proud of you.

I would like to start this off by congratulating you! It can be really hard to accept ourselves, and love ourselves as we are. I am really proud that you are able to do that. This one is a tough situation I bet for you. I'm sure after all this time you are close with her, and you might be scared to worry her. It is important to remember the longer you keep it going the more she might be shocked by it. You just need to be honest with her, try to tell her it's not her fault, it's just who you are! Hopefully she will accept you for you, and maybe even keep your Relationship together! You never know! Hopefully this could help you!

It's good to hear that you have come to terms with this, I can imagine it was a long journey - you should be really proud for being able to accept yourself! This is the most important thing; what other people think shouldn't matter as much. I do understand though that coming out to your girlfriend will probably be really scary. It is up to you how and when you tell her, but my advice would be to pick a time when she isn't stressed and can have a while to process this information. Try to be really open and honest with her also! I really do hope that she is understanding and supportive. She will probably want to talk about 'what will happen next.' Please do support her too!

Be honest. If you two have been together for many years, and have built a relationship based on trust and honesty, it is good to be straightforward and honest so that she can meet your needs and help you get to where you want to be. If she doesn't take it well, she may come to terms with it in time, or you may need to work out the terms of your relationship. Express to her your feelings about yourself and who you want to be. Getting it off your chest might help you with the initial, daunting stress of telling her. Just be honest and go from there.

This is a very delicate process that must be taken slowly and carefully. The best thing to do is to find a quiet, comfortable place where both of you can speak without being interrupted. Approach this matter calmly and softly, but be honest and direct. Explain to her how you feel, and why you feel this way. But remember, the person who has found this the hardest to deal with has been yourself! Hopefully your girlfriend will understand this. And although this conversation is best to be done in person, many people may find this uncomfortable. A handwritten letter, or email may be the way to go if you find speaking face to face too difficult

Being honest is something everyone seems to be afraid of, but just think about how much better you are going to feel. Love is unconditional if she loves you unconditional, should have no worries. It was hard for someone close to me who went threw a similar situtation. She didn't like it and it didn't feel right to her but they loved each other so much and wanted each other to be happy. We all are best friends and we wouldn't want it any other way. Just be happy and worry free. I sure wish you the best of luck.

you can start by telling her that for a while you have noticed that you are starting to feel different, both inside and out, that you are discovering new sensations and that since you trust her and you know she loves you for what you are inside and not for the external aspect you are sure that it will accept you in any version of you. Or at least it should. Tell her that she is free to choose and take some time to think, remind her of the beautiful moments and tell her that you love her. It'll be fine.

Wanting to come out takes a lot of courage and I admire that you've chosen to tell her. When I came out to my parents I simply told them how I felt, I think it might also help her relate if you tell her how it makes you feel in general, maybe that you feel alone with it if you haven't told anyone else yet or that you're afraid of what might await you. Sometimes it can take a bit of time for others to understand but if they care about you and you about them then you will be able to communicate in productive ways about it. I wish you good luck, with coming out and your journey! One thing that might help too is including her in what you plan as further steps and making sure she's up to date. :)

You are already done with the hardest part, I hope you celebrated that :) coming to terms with something that gives you trouble is no easy task and can be quite challenging. Just be yourself, you know your girlfriend best and how to approach her in delicate situations. Did you ever deliver big news like this where you weren't sure how she would react? You can also think of how you would like to receive such news yourself. How would you like the other person to approach? That might help you on the delivery as well. All the best luck in the world to you! :)

First, only tell her if it is safe. Thats always the first piorty. Then, it can go something like this : after you sit her down Honey. I have something to tell you. I have been wanting to tell you for a while, but I wanted to wait until I was sure, and until I got it completely figured out for myself. The time has come, and I'm afriad. I'm afraid because you could be sad, angry, disappointed or even disgusted. And I love you so much, and I dont want to change things. But I need to start living as myself, for me and for you. So. I am transgender. How do you feel about that?

That's tough. I'm on the opposite side -- my significant other of 15+ years just came out to me. It was a bit of a shock, and sadly, I did not take the news well at first. I am still processing this as we work on figuring out how our relationship may change going forward. You know your girlfriend best. Is she supportive of the lgbtq+ community? Would she be open to being with someone of your (newly discovered) gender? Those are questions you might want to think about. You say you just came to terms with this yourself. Perhaps give yourself a little more time to be comfortable in your new found self before coming out. Maybe drop some hints.... Look into resources for trans people. Check out the /asktransgender or /ask_transgender subreddit on reddit.com. You don't need to rush things. Tell her when it feels like the right time to tell her. I hope that your girlfriend takes the news well and supports you. I suggest the /mypartneristrans subreddit for her. While you should hope for the best, keep in mind that she may not be accepting at all, or she may no longer be attracted to you (you can't force her to change her sexual orientation if she isn't attracted to your gender). I'm sorry if I didn't really answer your question. I wish you the best of luck.

Be honest, patient, and empathetic, but remember that being yourself is the most important thing. She has the right to choose to end the relationship if it conflicts with her sexuality. You have the right to be your truest self and be with someone who loves who that is. Neither of you owe each other what costs your identity. Have grace and love yourself, but prepare your heart for hardship. Don't take things personally, especially at first. It can be hard for people to hear you've been hiding such inner conflict or that their preconceptions of you are false. Being trans is rough, but being yourself is the most fulfilling thing in the world. Tactful honesty and patience can help ease everyone in your life into a comfortable position, be it friends, family, or partners.

First off, as difficult as it may be, you should try to accept that your girlfriend may not be attracted to other women (or men - whether you are male-to-female or female-to-male). After you have come to terms with this, try to sit down with her and explain what Gender Dysphoria is, and how it is affecting you. Explain then that to treat this condition, it is in your best interest to transition to the opposite gender to relieve your Dysphoria and find happiness. Whether the relationship works or not, you two should have each other's best interests at heart and respect each other's decisions: Your decision to transition, and her decision on what she thinks is best for the relationship.

My advice would be to set aside a time to talk with your girlfriend in private. Tell her that you need to talk with her about something very serious, and ask her to have an open mind. After that, just tell her. When I told my girlfriend about my being non binary, I explained all of my thoughts and feelings on gender and I told her about my journey with my gender. Talk it through calmly; try not to let your emotions get the better of you if the conversation starts to head in a negative direction. Good luck, and I hope things go well!