Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?

220 Answers
Last Updated: 04/29/2022 at 11:15pm
How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.

Top Rated Answers
Profile: helpfulRecipe95
helpfulRecipe95
June 23rd, 2018 2:52am
Show them pamphlets maybe? What i did with mine is just tell them flat out thats its okay and acceptable :)
Profile: lotsoftypos
lotsoftypos
June 23rd, 2018 8:05am
Start the conversation like this. "Dad, why do you love Mom? How can you explain it." Wait until he finishes. Then ask Mom. Then say, this is how I feel towards, (Select Gender)
Profile: Opalescentrose
Opalescentrose
July 1st, 2018 5:13am
It's pretty textual to describe! A person who likes people of their same gender. Love is love, embrace yourself
Profile: empathicSnowflake61
empathicSnowflake61
July 1st, 2018 5:17am
Maybe tell them that it's the same kind of love that heterosexuals have for each other, just for the same gender
Profile: flightlessRoss
flightlessRoss
July 1st, 2018 7:40am
explain what it means first, then explain how you feel about it and how its something you cant just choose
Profile: Olweg
Olweg
July 1st, 2018 9:08pm
Some people are heterosexual. Other are homosexual. It's not any more a choice than being heterosexual. It's not a disease or a perversion, it's just a bit less common than heterosexuality. And most importantly : it's not about sex, but about love. (or at least, as much as heterosexuality is :p). Attraction is like a spectrum : it can evolve in one's life, and it can stay the same all one's life.
Profile: iman2002
iman2002
July 12th, 2018 11:31am
Homosexuality is when a the same genders are attracted towards each other. They feel the physical attraction too.
Profile: Sandra98
Sandra98
July 19th, 2018 1:24pm
Tough question. If your parents are homophobic it's gonna be hard to change their view. But it is good to teach them and remind them that homosexuality is natural and normal. You're just borned with that. Scientist are not 100% sure what causes sexuality but parents shoudn't blame themselves if their child is homosexual because as I said it's normal and natural. Around 5-10% of population is homosexual... but I'd guess it's even more like 15-20%. So it's not that small number.
Profile: Allears247
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 8:13am
Tell them that is the sexual attraction to one of the same sex. That it can happen both naturally and unnaturally. That a gay man likes a man the same way a straight woman likes a man. It's just the way your brain is wired.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2020 7:07am
You don't need to explain your homosexuality. Just sit your parents down and tell them. If they don't accept that, then that is their loss, because they just lost one of the most important things in their lives. I believe communication is always key, and that it is difficult to come out, but I believe being honest is very important. Your parents should understand that homosexuality is not a choice, and it is not something they can change. If they love you, they will accept you the way you are without trying to change you or set you up with one of their friends children.
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2020 1:43pm
Homosexuality is when someone is attracted to someone of the same gender, and its no different then regular attraction, it's still just love between two people. There's nothing else to say besides that it's normal. All I can say is that it may be scary at first, but I can reassure you that there is nothing wrong with it. If you're afraid for my safety then all I can ask for is to be accepted, there are people who don't like homosexuals but it's gonna be fine, I'll be fine, so I want to ask you again, the only thing I want from this is to be accepted.
Profile: DreamCatcher39
DreamCatcher39
April 5th, 2020 11:05am
Homosexuality can be a Taboo topic even these days. Nevertheless, it is something that needs to get out of the darkest corners of narrow-mindedness and shine bright. The only way to be able to convince someone is to be confident in yourself, in what you're saying. They are your parents, however weird they might feel, they're going to support you at the end if you're happy ultimately. So make sure to let them know, that you understand what you're getting into and you're sure of it. No matter what the world might say, or no matter however weird it may sound to some people, you will be happy with your decision for the rest of your life. Tell them that you're ready to come out to the world and them, especially them, because who loves you better. Also, don't lose your calm while talking to them. If they're new to the concept, they might be a little worried about you and its okay. It's only their concern for you because they don't want you to end up in any situation where you might blame yourself. Keep the love you feel for them, right out onto the table, while you talk and let them understand. Also, do not expect an immediate 'YES' because that is not how things work. So, the basic mantra would be: Be Confident, Be Calm, Be Humble, Be Loving and they'll Be Understanding. All the very best! ~Dream.
Profile: lindaisling1
lindaisling1
April 8th, 2020 9:03pm
What a great question! You are a strong, thoughtful person to have asked it. I would first ask what you think might be some ways that would work for your family because you know yourself and them the best. I have 2 children that are homosexual and they were afraid to tell me but I am happy that they trusted me enough to tell me. Has your family ever had a discussion about sexuality? Many families do not and that can make it especially hard to speak up. I explained my children's sexuality to my parents because they asked me to do that. What I said was the following: Gender and sexuality are inborn and not something that is chosen. Everyone deserves to have a loving relationships where they are treated with respect and kindness. Each person should determine for themselves what those relationships looks like. I invited my parents to speak to my children directly if they could do so in a loving supportive way. I think the fact that I kept the message simple at the outset allowed them to ask questions about homosexuality without feeling uncomfortable. I also shared my love with them. I don't know if that type of conversation is appropriate in your family setting, but you do and I hope that if you stick to facts and keep it simple and are willing to answer questions, that you will do well. Whatever your parent's response you will have given them the chance to hear you and I hope they treat you with love and compassion. If, as sometimes happens, they are not able to accept you, that can be very hurtful. If you have need help in any way as you go forward in your life, I would love to talk with you again.
Anonymous
April 19th, 2020 1:43am
The way that I went around it was by explaining that two people of the same gender can love eachother, and then I gave them some online resources so they could learn more about that. Luckily, the response wasn’t negative and I was able to talk to them about the community and the different aspects of being a gay person. I wasn’t ready to say it yet, so I was just speaking as if the person was hypothetical. I talked about famous gay people my parents knew of so they could have a connection somewhere. I let that sit in their minds for a couple days and then I asked them what if their child was gay, how would they react and tried to figure out if the response to me being bisexual would be good or bad. It was a mediocre response, enough so I felt safe if they had the knowledge about my sexuality. Then the next day I sad them down at comfortable times, individually and told them I was bisexual. The response was a relief, and I felt like I had successfully eased them into my coming out. I was lucky that their responses weren’t negative. I wish you luck!!
Profile: Fradiga
Fradiga
May 30th, 2020 1:12pm
This will all depend on how receptive they are. Your question does not say if you are "coming out" to your parents or if they live somewhere were homosexuality is hidden and thus not commonly referred to. Approaching the subject all depends on how receptive they are to hear about this topic as well. Hoping that the whole exchange can take place in a neutral, good-will infused ambiance, you can start by saying that gay people are actually a rather common occurrence (like - say - left-handed children) and that the person usually discovers their sexual and romantic inclination towards others of the same sex when they hit puberty, sometimes sooner and sometimes much later as well. If by then your parents are still willing to hear more information, you can certainly give it to them.
Profile: Davelistener78
Davelistener78
June 24th, 2020 8:39pm
Well I would start with explaining your wants and needs in a relationship, what you find attractive and ways a relationship will help you to be happy in life. Then you can try & explain that you feel attracted to men , and want to try dating men (if you haven't already)Try to be very calm try to assert yourself as this is the way you are, it won't change , and you have felt this way a long time, you need a man in your life. Parents want the best for you and they find joy in seeing you happy.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2020 5:49am
To explain homosexuality to your parents, you first need to know how they would react to the idea in a general situation. If they are educated and accepting, you will have no problem furthering their knowledge on the topic. But often times, parents can be closed off to the idea due to generational differences in ideas. In this case, explain to them that feelings of love towards another person come naturally, whether it be to a person of the same gender, or the opposite gender. A person’s preference of whom they love doesn’t change the type of human being they are. Sexuality is based on a spectrum, and shouldn’t be a deciding factor on how you view a person.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2020 12:05am
At first I would consider if you are in a safe environment. Are your parents possibly open minded? Or rather closely guarded and very homophobic? While it might be not comfortable, your direct safety comes first. Otherwise you can do it like that: 1) Sort everything out for yourself. They might ask you "why", "how long" and further questions and it will help you if you are more confident regarding the topic and more at ease with it. If you are still very unsure, the conversation might be harmful or confusing. Take your time, don't rush it. 2) Preparation: You might have to answer questions, if your parents aren't familiar with that topic. It might help to calm you down if you inform yourself about sexuality/gender and any LGBT topic concerning you. Should an argumentation happen, you will be more able to stand your ground. Then: search for a quiet environment. All of you should be relaxed and not under time pressure. Include only those family members you're comfortable with. Other can come later or even not at all if you decide against it. Regardless of this comment: again, assess and evaluate the situation yourself and see how safe it is to come out of have discussions in general. My parents always said, love is love and your gender doesn't define your soul. It doesn't hurt anyone and make people happy (especially when they have no choice), so why not?
Profile: IncredibleRainbows
IncredibleRainbows
September 4th, 2020 3:03pm
Explaining such a topic to parents can be rough. One should keep in mind that they should not feel guilty about not being able to do so. One's identity should not be a debate, but this is how life is. Depending on how conservative the parents are, you might want to approach the problem one way or the other. Simple, legitimate facts should have more priority than emotional involvement: people tend to open their ears more if they hear precise statements. Science articles, examples of historical events are insanely helpful. Mentioning that homosexuality cannot be helped, that it is not a choice is not always productive, so giving the parents food for thought - ”Do you think gay people choose to be oppressed, assaulted, killed?” is more effective.
Anonymous
September 17th, 2020 7:31pm
This can be a very scary topic for some, especially when it comes to coming out. As a bisexual woman myself, I've had to face scary conversations with loved ones. I've found that it can be helpful to open the door to a conversation with parents on homosexuality by having something as a conversation starter. For instance, let's say you pull up a movie on your favorite streaming service of choice where the protagonist is gay or lesbian or somewhere within the LGBTQ+ realm, that gives you something to talk about to test the waters in a sense of how they might respond so it feels safe. Best of luck, friend.
Profile: HazelJanex
HazelJanex
October 23rd, 2020 8:46pm
That you are still the person you were and nothing changed besides the fact you know who you are, love should never be illegal and you cant change who you like and dont like. You are still You! That they should be proud of what you went/ are going through, its not easy figuring out your sexual preference, love is love. People shouldn’t be ashamed to love who they love and they should be proud and happy of who they are. Try and have them be in your shoes and have them think of the person they love and imagine if that love was illegal and wrong, people just want to be happy and content!
Anonymous
November 8th, 2020 1:47am
I would like to start this by saying that I am not homosexual, I am bisexual but I still feel like I could offer some insight into the situation and my experience with it. Growing up my entire life I had always found little ways to talk to my mom about different same-sex relationships, such as bringing up someone from popular media and mentioning how that was "really cool!" and just me being generally supportive of LGBT people. I would do the same when family friends would get into same-sex relationships and in general my mom became fine with it and when I came out I had an idea for how she felt. But if your parents do not understand the idea of homosexuality itself and what it is and what it means it might be a good idea to try to explain it in simple terms. It is the same as a hetrosexual relationship but instead of being between a man and a women it is between two people of the same gender. It might also help to provide them with different resources such as blogs, articles, or even documentaries if those are available.
Profile: rbrm
rbrm
March 19th, 2021 5:17am
Ask if you can sit down and talk to them. When telling them remember they are your parents and are supportive and love you no matter what. If they are unsupportive explain to them what it means so they get a better understanding. Tell them how you feel and explain you like members of the same sex as you. If they understand it better they are more likely to be supportive. Do not be nervous and go into the conversation with confidence. You got this! You know you best and you can do anything if you put your mind to it.
Profile: ImStillTJ
ImStillTJ
November 13th, 2021 8:30pm
It’s impossible to give a proper answer that applies to everyone, but the best method is simply education! Try asking how they would feel if they were to be asked to sleep with someone of the same sex. When they explain that it isn’t something that interests them or is what they find attractive then explain that is how you feel about the opposite sex. Explain that you can’t choose your sexuality any more than your parents can. It’s not a choice because it’s not something you can consciously control. Sure you can control your actions, but you can’t control your feelings. Be considerate of their feelings as well as your own. As much as homosexuality is a part of someone’s life, it isn’t everything about them, and certainly isn’t their only characteristic
Anonymous
October 30th, 2021 5:02pm
I think this would depend from your parents' current stance of homosexuality. Your approach will vary based on where your parents stand on it, but in any case, it is very important for you to be authentic with them, as authentic as you feel comfortable being at the time the first conversation occurs. If you do not know how your parents will take it, perhaps you could brooch the subject of homosexuality first, without coming out just yet, so that you can better gauge where they stand on it, and how they are possibly likely to respond. Also decide if you wish to have someone else along with you to support you, perhaps a sibling or best friend that your parents are comfortable around as well. There is no right or wrong way to do this, and please know that even if you do this the way you intend to, it may not necessarily mean that it will be received well. That's got nothing to do with you as you cannot control other people's responses. Also, please bear in mind that if you get an upsetting response, it doesn't mean that it will be your parents' final stance on it. Some people have strong reactions to situations that are unexpected but then they come around, once given the time, space, and even resources to help them process the change. Good luck to you, and please do not hesitate to reach out!
Profile: AMomentInTime1830
AMomentInTime1830
August 18th, 2021 11:01am
This can be a difficult and frustrating conversation for some, and understanding before you dive in that not everyone is going to think or believe the same way is important. Remember that most of our parents come from a time when things were much less accepted, and social stigmas along with judgement and lack of knowledge were huge. It’s okay that our parents don’t understand, and it’s okay that it may take some time to open their minds up to change. Introducing information, suggesting family counselling, finding books for you to read together etc. are all ways you as a family can work together to help open them up. If you need to be true to yourself, or just want them to start seeing things in a different light, be honest and give them a chance… they may surprise you:)
Profile: NinaBee
NinaBee
July 14th, 2021 9:20pm
You can start by explaining it's not a choice and that it's completely natural! As a matter of fact, it's found in hundreds of species of animals around the world! It's simply loving, just as they love. It's just aimed at someone else. Just as they can't decide to love who they do, neither can you. There's no shame in that. After all, don't judge a book by it's cover, right? You're still their child, and they have a responsibility to love and support you until you're financially independent. That's what they agreed to as soon as you were conceived. To love and support you.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2021 6:48pm
How you would explain the topic to your parents depends largely on what your goals for the conversation are, and what (if any) obstacles your parents have to understanding it. People tend to have an easier time understanding unfamiliar concepts when they have a basis for comparison, or, when they can personally relate. Love, sex, and relationships are widely understood, highly relatable topics to most people. Your parents have likely experienced at least one of those three concepts first hand in their lives, therefore, explaining gay and lesbian love, sex, and relationships might not be as difficult as you might expect, since they already seem to have a basis for comparison. Gay and lesbian love, sex, and relationships are based on the same thing straight love, sex, and relationships are based on: connection, appreciation of another. If they can conceive of human connection and appreciation of another person, they have the basis for understanding what you want to communicate. Whether their conditioning allows them to come to terms with that understanding is another issue, however, their conditioning is not your responsibility. You can only concern yourself with expressing the topic as best you can and allowing them to reach their own understanding of it as best they can.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2021 5:43pm
Explain it to them the same as heterosexuality. It's simply the same foundation with people of different genders or sexes. They fall in love, they have to still communicate to improve their relationship and have the same feelings. If they're open-minded to learning more about homosexuality, try to ask them to envision what it would be like to have the same emotions and feelings as someone else but just as different beings. Homosexuality isn't a new concept or topic as love in itself isn't. So, the most I can say to do would be to say it's love with the people loving being of the same sex or gender :)
Anonymous
November 15th, 2020 8:54pm
I personally have not came out to my parents due to some issues going on in the family (they are not bad), but a good idea would be to somehow get them into the "vibe", let's say, like, start wearing colors of your homosexual flag, start giving them hints, maybe? another idea could be to sit with them and try to talk about it with them in the best way possible for them to understand it, maybe show some examples, try to be understanding with their point of view but also try to show them that they should be respectful towards you and your sexuality. i hope this helps