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How do I come out to my parents?

296 Answers
Last Updated: 06/21/2022 at 9:26pm
How do I come out to my parents?
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Top Rated Answers
Max1997
April 23rd, 2016 1:02am
First of all, make sure you feel comfortable with yourself before you come out to other People. As long as you feel you are in a safe environment, the risk is low (e.g. if there was a negative reaction, you have a place to go for a few days), and you want them to know. Never feel pressured into coming out before you feel you are ready. But when you do, it will be a relief - trust me!
yourenotalone96
April 21st, 2016 11:36am
It can be very very difficult to come out to your parents, especially when you don't know what they're reaction is going to be. I would suggest sitting down with a cup of tea, and just say that you need to talk to them about something that means a lot to you, you want them to be open minded. approach them slowly, sometimes it can be a shock. and people react the wrong way. If you're too nervous to talk to them, write them a letter.. let them take their time to read it, and to come to terms with it.
GypsyStardust
April 21st, 2016 9:14am
Coming out was really difficult for me, i was extremely scared. I kept putting it off. I finally worked up the courage over family dinner. I sat my mother and aunt down for a discussion. It took me a while to say it. Luckily their response was positive and accepting. The best you can do is try.
SweetUnicorn
April 20th, 2016 10:40pm
Simply talk with them, explain to them everything you feel and the most important thing is to do this when you feel 100% ready.
SimplyBeing
April 15th, 2016 7:10am
This is always a hard question because we don't know your situation. So in general: Get some support. Take a look at Thetrevorproject.org. If you can and your parents will help you find a supportive counselor to help you understand your situation and help you understand if your parents are able to be supportive. The first rule is keep yourself safe. I wish you peace. J
Forestingrey
April 13th, 2016 10:05pm
It can be hard to determine if your parents will accept you. I was lucky enough to have a mother who came out to me first. My dad, though, I had no idea. I knew he loved me, I know he still does. So one day I just told him 'Dad, I'm pansexual.' on the way home from dinner. That was that. He's asked me about it since, but the point is, it can be hard and it can be super scary. But it's okay, even if they dont like it, even if they get mad or dont accept you. Because you were strong and brave enough to tell them in the first place. Thats huge!
NikkieTB
April 13th, 2016 12:42am
For me, I came out when I actually had someone I was dating. I always planned to do it sooner than later, but for me, it was a kind of safety net at that time, that I did it while I was still dating. I knew I'd be welcomed in open arms, so I never feared it. My mom's always been very caring, and understanding. But having my date to talk about it to, really helped me doing it. Although that's my way. There are several ways to do it. Gathering your parents, and announcing you've got something on your heart, is a great way of doing it. If, however, you feel one of the parents might not take it too well in the start, you can always start by coming out to the other parent. Get their understanding, and break the news hand in hand. I wish you all the very best, when you're coming out to your parents. You deserve happiness!
Anonymous
April 10th, 2016 6:06am
Let them know like the way you usually talk to them you shouldn't be scared to just let it out. It'll help that way
Anonymous
April 7th, 2016 12:53pm
Coming out is a difficult process, but the main thing is that you are happy and comfortable. This is a question that is hard to answer, you know your parents best. Just try to understand that it can be uncomfortable and hard for them to understand. You can't control their reactions, but just know you have the right to be happy.
Greatlistener87
April 7th, 2016 6:19am
Just sit them down and tell them the truth and how you feel about it. Also tell them why you made the decision and how has it changed you.This will help them understand and accept the decision that you have made.
AveryinUnderland
April 6th, 2016 4:36pm
Well, there are many ways. I personally feel like it all depends on the people but if you feel that they'll take it well then you could do something witty, funny or just silly. But if you aren't sure you could write a letter, send then a message, or even a text but face to face is always best. Only do it when YOU are ready, trying and failing a few times is perfectly alright. I came out as trans almost a year ago and it happened over the phone with my mother because she weaseled it out of me (I wanted to have a face to face with her and my father) but it worked out. I hope for any who take this plunge do it with their heads held high and I hope your family accepts you for the amazing creatures that you are. Be free and be fabulous. OH! One last thing, if they approach you and ask if you are LGBTQ+ don't panic! It
Aquadreamer4151
April 6th, 2016 4:18pm
sit down and talk with them about it. or if you want it to be more in there face just bring someone home
NotaThief
April 6th, 2016 3:38pm
I've personally never had to do this, but I would sit them down and ask them if I can ask them a very personal question If they say "you can tell me anything" Then I would continue.
itsnotwhereyoucomefrom
April 5th, 2016 2:30pm
Keep it simple, don't apoogize, you don't have to be sorry for a beautiful person you are. Be patient, answer their questions. And give them time.
Sierra8D
April 3rd, 2016 6:58pm
Don't. I still haven't come out to any of my family as Bi-sexual. And that's because they are very judgemental. Don't. Just simply don't.
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2016 2:28am
Comeing out to anybody is a hard thing to do. I would reccomened sitting them down and politely explaining to them your sexuality. Hopefully all will go weel! Good luck!
artherapy
March 30th, 2016 5:49pm
Maybe do some research on how people have come out. If you have a friend that has been through this you can even have a conversation about what you should do. Anyone that you know supports you can be there for you.
SarahJaneSmith
March 30th, 2016 7:14am
When I came out I just started talking about my crush to my mother and while she was guessing who it was I just said 'it's a girl' I came out to my mother about 3 weeks after coming out to my friends.
Anonymous
December 11th, 2015 4:25am
First, make sure you have friends or other people in your corner who you can lean on depending on the outcome. I don't think there is a best way to come out to your parents. Make sure that you feel ready, and then just be honest with them. It is usually best to do so while not in the middle of an argument or something like that. Try to be as honest as you can with them. If they aren't immediately supportive or understand, don't think that is permanent. Oftentimes, people just need time to process and think about things before they can fully embrace them. Just remember there is no perfect way to come out, so just do what feels right for you. Good luck!
SleepyDinosaur
December 8th, 2015 11:27am
First of all. Get a stable support base. That could be a supportive friend or a supportive relative. So you know if the worst happens you have someone you can lean on and count on. Only come out when you are 100% confident in who you are and you are ready to finally be yourself to the world. After you've com to terms with yourselves and your ready to come out and sit down with your parents and tell them. This is who you are. And it's not bad. It's just who you are. And if they truly love you they'd love you no matter what. And if it goes bad you have those people that do love you who will support you. :)
Lumin0us
November 23rd, 2015 12:08pm
It will be hard, I came out to my mum. I told her "Mum, if you don't respect me I don't know what to tell you, but I like girls too."
KeiranDrake
July 13th, 2015 5:24pm
It's a personal choice on how you can come out. A few suggestions are a letter/email, a video, or in person. You can look around the internet for come out ideas as well. If you look for the Coming Out Song by Ally Hills if it has to do with your sexuality that is a way that someone. Good Luck.
SkyeIsThereForYou
July 6th, 2015 6:06pm
Well just ask if they can sit down one night and talk to you. You tell them how you feel and then tell them that you like the same gender and you are their child. They love you for you, not for who you love.
EmberT
June 2nd, 2015 6:55am
It would help if you know where they stand on lgbtq+ first, drop hints and ask them about gay celebrities or fictional characters. When you think it's time, tell them you need to talk about something and make them understand it's important, and then tell them. You could come out to both of your parents at once or come out to the more supporting parent first and then that parent can help you if the other person is unsupportive. Realize that if your parents are highly against LGBTQ+, this could lead to a lot of problems.
Dannus
May 5th, 2015 8:35pm
I think writing a letter is a good way, allowing yourself to say everything you feel, and knowing you have said everything you wanted.
positiveWhisper24
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
April 10th, 2015 9:26pm
First assess whether your parents are supportive of who you are. If they are the open minded awesome kind, just go for it - tell them! If they are not supportive, then: you need to ask yourself, are you dependent on them right now? If the answer is yes, it might be better to wait so you don't find yourself on the street tomorrow. If the answer is no, then ask yourself, are you afraid of a violent outburst? if the answer is yes, the phone or email or by a written letter. If the answer is no, then face to face is also fine. Once you have come out to your parents, give them some time. Give them a year to throw a tantrum and say homophobic things and be weirded out. But once a year is up, they have to accept who you are. Period. The end. There are lots of stories about creative ways to come out to your parents. But the truth is, just do whatever you feel comfortable. If it's hard for you to tell them, write them a letter. I've heard of people who baked a cake and frosted "Mom, Dad, I'm Gay" on it. It's completely up to you.