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What do I do when my husband ignores me?

182 Answers
Last Updated: 05/11/2022 at 11:40pm
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Top Rated Answers
Kookiesandmilk101
December 27th, 2018 8:26am
remember to ask him if there is anything wrong between the both of you or is something else bothering him way too much.Talk to him about all the issues and try to sort it out.Remember to use your words wisely otherwise it might break out into a fight which you don't want.Remember to stay calm and talk properly and be nice. Don't start ignoring him too and that might lead somewhere else which you don't want.Talk and communicate as soon as possible before it becomes into a daily routine.You can maybe go for marriage counselling too and talk to women around you who are married for their opinions.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2019 12:49pm
I try to stay calm and approach him to ask what’s wrong and that I feel that we haven’t been talking as much. Or ask him if he is ignoring me directly. Give space. Sometime I cook up his favorite meal and talk to him when he is in a happy mood. Communication is very important. Sometimes giving space and time to my spouse really helps him approach me instead of me asking him. There are times when he has time to think all by himself and realize that he may be ignoring me or not giving me attention and then he brings it up himself and tells me what’s wrong or why he was behaving the way he was behaving.
Jackxist
May 6th, 2019 5:47am
Try thinking of ways you could deal with this situation, Maybe come up with a solution or an idea that will benefit both of you. It is best for you to come up with your own answer as I am unsure of the situation you are in and you are more of an expert on your life than I am and It would be the best for both parties if you both come up with a solution on your own. Try thinking why he is ignoring you and use that information from what you think to come up with a suitable solution.
AnnieBE
June 27th, 2019 6:04pm
It depends on whether or not he’s approachable. If he is, try talking with him about how you feel when he ignores you. You might say something like: I feel (blank) when you ignore me. You’re taking responsibility for your feelings Instead of blaming him for them. It doesn’t mean it’s okay to ignore you. Whether or not he pays attention to you, is his responsibility. You are in charge of your reactions. It can be helpful to find friends and other support systems where you feel your voice is heard. In the process, you might find new and effective ways to ask for your husband’s attention as a result.
AdmirableGrace
August 23rd, 2019 5:11pm
You could have a one-on-one talk with him. Maybe he's avoiding you because he has pressure from work? Sometimes men need the space to think and relax. Allow him that time. However, if you feel something else is going on, it's better you confront him about it. Hear him out as to why he's treating you like the way he is. Maybe something you have done offended him? Talking about it might clear out the misunderstanding that is going on. Be patient with him too. Tell him how you are feeling gently. Give him the time so that he opens out to you about it. I hope everything will go well for you. :)
SpaceDino
January 30th, 2020 5:07pm
I think it would be important to get to the bottom of why your husband is ignoring you. It might be related to your and your relationship but it could also be entirely unrelated and something personal he is going through. We can't get very far on the basis of speculating and hypothesizing. Better to engage in open communication so you know what is going on and can act accordingly. Let your husband know how being ignored is making you feel and voice your needs going forward. Maybe he also has needs that he hasn't felt able to voice. Through open and honest communication, try to find a way to move forward and reconnect.
warmSunshine17
May 5th, 2016 12:22pm
By accepting yourself and your flaws hence your mistake and failure helps you improve,talk to someone and lay off all what is in your chest this help one reduces the burden inside.talk to your inner voice and you can identify your positive intention is and also it help prevent you to make other or same mistake.Remind yourself no one is perfect and learn from your mistake
CalmCourage
March 5th, 2020 11:40am
I would bring it up with him. One little communication tip I learnt was to say 'I love you and' then you say what you are struggling with - in your case your husband ignoring you. The crucial word is 'and' not 'but' because that makes it seem like your love is hanging on it. But if you guys have a chat about it in a adult way where you are both understanding each others view points then things will change for the better. Hope this helps and you guys get a chance to talk to each other, try the 'I love you and' see how that works for you.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2020 7:26am
Talk to him. Communicate with him because more often than that, it can be a small misunderstanding that may lead to unnecessary confrontations and petty fights. If he's ignoring you, he has a reason and there's no better way to find out other than talking to him about it, see how he feels, why he feels that way, and talk about it. Come to a solution together instead of creating assumptions in your head that will cause distress. Your approach towards him will matter a lot so think about it. Having a civil conversation would be the ideal way to go. After all, all relationships have ups and down.
sunshinesparkles2468
April 8th, 2020 3:24am
try to find time to spend with him, tell him how he is making you feel and explain to him what you two can do together to try and overcome this obstacle, if you dont find that talking with him i helping and or he isnt replying. see if there are any reasons as to why he would be acting this way. if none of those options have worked you could always try to do couple therapy. it is possibe he is going through something and doesnt feel like he wants to speak right now. that can always be a possibility.
SoulPastries
May 4th, 2016 7:16am
Speak out about how you feel. Communication is extremely important in relationships for both individuals. Also, is there something that might be going on in his life that might be causing this? Discussing your feelings may lead to a happier life for the both of you. #teamwork
PineappleLemon
May 8th, 2020 5:09pm
That sounds incredibly unpleasant! I've had this happen to me in the past - it's not enjoyable and over time I felt de-valued and not respected (in which everyone deserves that respect when having conversations!). If possible, in the past I asked to have a conversation with my partner regarding these issues. I would first start with something that is a positive in the relationship (i.e. maybe non-verbal acts of kindness around the house?). Then, I would attempt to integrate the fact that your feelings when you are ignored. From there, discussion would occur and hopefully you two can talk about potential solutions! Hope this helps!!
mysteriousPeace7489
May 10th, 2020 12:14am
There are a few different ways to go about this. The ideal way to go about it is to tell him how it makes you feel. No one likes to be ignored, and no one should have to deal with it from their significant other. Ignoring people promotes no progress, it only does damage. Ideally, he should respect you enough to not do it simply because you don't like it. Another way is to ignore him back (followed up by a discussion on how it makes you feel), because he'll be able to get an idea of how much it sucks to be ignored and will likely be particularly aware of the negatives of it. And finally, give him space. Sometimes someone ignoring a person isn't done in the interest of avoiding them, but protecting them. People need time to calm down to avoid saying things they don't mean, and this could be his way of doing that.
safeshoulder2CryOn
May 15th, 2020 12:30am
When my husband ignores me, i should not be offended by his apparently withdrawal. Instead, i would respect this as his need for his personal space for introspection or to nurture other hobbies. Constant communication do not indicate closeness.In fact ignorance is a method of tolerance that some men employ to hide their displeasure about our behaviours. This space is needed by both for us to heal. Being a couple is like being on a see-saw. When one is happy n high, the other is feeling blitzingly low. A balance is hard to achieve.So silence is golden and would serve both well to respect it.
Anonymous
May 27th, 2020 10:27am
Being ignored by a loved one is tricky. I think that the first step is figuring out why he is ignoring you and work from there. Communication is key! Talking about the problem with your husband in a loving way shows that you care. This is an important aspect in any relationship, especially a marriage. Telling him how you feel will definitely help. Maybe he is unaware that you are feeling this way. Bottom-line is that in any relationship, both people need to show the other person that they are loved, as well as communicate when they are feeling unloved. In the end, with lots of talking and plenty of love, things will work out!
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2021 9:23am
I understand how it feels to be ignored by someone especially when someone is your loved one. It's okay to have such feelings. What makes you think that your husband is ignoring you? Have you talked to your husband about how you are feeling bringing what incidents made you felt that way? In this way, you and your husband would be on the same page and you might also find if your husband is going through rough patch. Communication can be really helpful to sort things out. I hope this answer helps you. There are many active listeners on 7 cups, please feel free to reach out, you don't have to go through this alone.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2021 10:56pm
Find something that interests him to open the path to talk about it. Maybe he doesn't know he's ignoring you and it could be something easily fixed. Just try to talk or find an activity you both enjoy doing with each other and see if that opens the line of communication a bit. I'm sure you two can come to some sort of middle point and work it out in the end. There always a positive outcome to any situation that seems tough at first but with some work and dedication anything can be fixed and happiness will be restored.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2021 3:31pm
That is a difficult situation to be in particularly when it comes from someone who is supposed to be caring and supportive of you. I'm sorry you're going through that. Whether your husband is conscious or unconscious of it, ignoring someone is a form of dominating them and having control over them. Having direct and honest conversations about how you feel in those situations and setting healthy boundaries which you also talk about in a direct and open way is something I've found can help if the person genuinely does care about you and thus cares about your wellbeing, part of which is how you feel. Everyone is deserving of respect, including you!
Anonymous
May 6th, 2021 7:03am
Ignoring a spouse is a common reaction to an underlying problem in the relationship. That problem can be anything from an accumulation of minor disagreements to one of the partners feeling the relationship has become stale. It's also a common response when a cheating spouse is racked by guilt. The problems aren't always with the relationship itself. Your husband might be trying to find some personal space (this is especially likely if you have young children, and both of you are frantically busy all of the time). He might be stressed about work, or other parts of life, and feel he doesn't have the energy to maintain your relationship right now..
kindHeart888
June 3rd, 2021 3:40pm
Being ignored is extremely painful and hard. You don't know what to do, because it's like a brick wall that is built up between the two of you and blocks any communication from taking place. If there is a specific reason for your husband's behaviour, perhaps you can reach out to him through a letter. Often I find that written words can accomplish more than speech, as they are much more controlled and state clearly and simply where you stand and what is bothering you. Make sure to first write the problems and your feelings down before you start writing the letter, and then, write clearly and neatly what you actually want to say. Tell him that you feel hurt and that you understand that maybe there's a problem going on and you would like to improve, and work on it. Good luck!
Anonymous
June 10th, 2021 5:47pm
People always say that communication and compromise are key to any relationship. It is important, if possible, to talk to you husband to express your feelings when you are ready to do so. He might not know how his actions make you feel even if it feels obvious to you. Setting up a time and place to sit down and express these concerns and feelings to him might allow him to better understand where you are coming from. It will also help you better understand why he might be acting the way he is. When we don't communicate with each other, it's hard to see where the other person is coming from and can result in a lot of misunderstandings.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2021 11:53pm
If your husband ignores you, you should talk to him. Communication is very important in relationships, and you should be comfortable talking about that stuff with him. If your husband isn't willing to talk about this with you, then maybe it's time to try to save your relationship. Try to show him that you love him, show him how much he means to you, spend time with him, and most importantly talk to him. If he still ignores you, maybe it's time to get your life sepersted and start thinking about moving on with someone who doesn't ignore you.
PensivePrizz86
July 30th, 2021 5:18am
As a husband, I think the correct answer depends on the context of the situation. The real question here is "Why" is he ignoring you? Additionally, what exactly are you implying by "ignore"? for example, is he pretending you don't exist? Avoiding conversations? Avoiding intimacy? Is he distracted by technology? Decompressing after work? Are there emotional/mental factors/disorders in play? All of the above? I suppose what I am getting at is he could be ignoring you for any number of reasons. For example, when I am truly ignoring my wife, it's usually because I'm distracted on my phone, escaping an emotional trigger, or retreating into myself to work out a thought or problem. Sometimes I honestly just don't want to talk to anyone, especially after work. I know a reduction in intimacy and libido (if that's what you were getting at) can be caused by low testosterone, which is treatable. Additionally, he could just simply be dealing with depression, which is also treatable. There are a lot of things that could be going on potentially, and that's not even considering if he's unhappy with your relationship. The only real thing you can do is engage him. You're married, so I'm assuming you know what some of his favorite things to do are. Take/fake an interest in those activities. Do them with him. Make his favorite treat. Surprise him with something silly and out of the ordinary. Something like this could loosen him up and spark a conversation about what's really going on, and there's a pretty good chance that having an open line of communication is going to strengthen your bond and relationship. That's literally the whole idea behind couple's therapy. The honest to goodness bottom line is, you just have to get him to open up and communicate with you. It could truly be that nothing's the matter, and on the chance that there is a problem, communicating is your best option to resolving the issue and strengthening your trust and your relationship. Hope that helps!
WhiteRoses25
September 23rd, 2021 10:36am
Thank you for reaching out! I can imagine you feel confused, angry , hurt or upset that your husband is ignoring you. It maybe good to ask yourself what the signs are that he is ignoring you? Ask yourself if there ever was time you would ignore someone and think why? Possibly there is something your husband is going through which he is finding difficult to come to terms with and so he therefore is hesitant to share which can come across like ignoring. Please reflect on your communication style and your husbands in general. How is the communication different? When he is comfortable sharing about what he has went through or is going through he will be open o talk to you. How has your attempt been to talk to him about feeling ignored ? Thinking about a time where you both were in conflict and solved the conflict may be a good way to think through how you are going to approach his thoughts and feelings as well as your own. Organisations geared towards supporting those needing assistance with relationships include: Relate and OneLoveFoundation. You are welcome to communicate with any of our amazing listeners on or site for a 1-1 chat to further explore your thoughts and feelings! :)
RugulahDonut
January 1st, 2022 7:32pm
I think giving them some space might work. If it's not working; just talk to them about this problem in a non-aggressive way. I remember times when I ignored my partner(3 years ago) it's wasn't about her, I was feeling empty and needed a goal, something to work for in my life. It reflects on our emotions and behaviors. We didn't solve the problem because we were closed to active listening and open communication. The relationship got toxic in multiple aspects and we had to end it. The next time your husband ignores you. Try asking them relevant questions about something they are having a hard time with. Communication is key.
Greatlistener87
April 8th, 2016 6:39am
Talk things out and find out why he is doing so. I don't think he can avoid u forever since u guys live together.
nyxj1x
May 1st, 2022 10:03am
Ask yourself why he's doing this. If he is giving you the silent treatment this is not okay as it is a form of emotional abuse. If however you have done something bad maybe talk to him about it to sort out the situation as you dont want it to be a problem when it is easily fixed just remeber your self worth though and dont let it break you as these situations are easily fixed but in the case of emotional abuse do not let your self be controlled by your husband as ignoring is a way of making you feel bad so it is easier to control.
Anonymous
March 25th, 2022 12:27am
Try talking to your husband in an open and compassionate way. Let him know how you are feeling and that you feel ignored. Remember that it is very possible that it is unintentional and does not reflect poorly on you. Think about the situations in which he ignores you, is it possible he did it hear you? Is this something that happens often? A great place to start is wth communicating how you feel! Expressing that this is something that worries you or causes you stress wil help him better understand how you feel. Understanding why he is ignoring you is a good place to start, communication is key.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2022 12:34am
Hi, I hope this message finds you well. This problem is common in many adult marriages, and often a difficult one to deal with. I can’t give you direct advice but what I can di is reassure you and hopefully make you feel better after reading this. The most important thing in a marriage is communication. One of the reasons for your husband ignoring you may be regarding the subject matter you’re talking about, so I recommend you start a normal, neutral conversation, to which he won’t dismiss based on the content of the conversation. During this conversation, I’d recommend discussing with him how you’ve felt recently, and how you feel as a result of his behaviour. The chances are, he had no idea you felt this way, and simply telling him how you feel will make him stop. You can find more advice using the 7cups guides found online. I hope this made you feel better about your problem, thank you for allowing me to answer your question.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2021 3:25am
Ignore him back or try to talk to him.