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Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.
Top Rated Answers
You can stop hating your little brother by realizing that he is younger than you and that will make you irritated from time to time. And it helps to remember that you were his age once and think if you were any better than him.
Learn to love your brother more. Take the time to do activities with him, create a stronger bond. Your little brother will grow to look up to you. You are his idol so you can try your best to treat him the way you would want to be treated. He will follow your steps. If you are wanting to improve yourself, learn to forgive and discipline yourself and your little brother. Remember that he is still growing and learning from his mistakes.
Well, it depends on the situation. But as far as hating him, just remembering that he is also a person with emotions, most likely similar to your own, having grown up in a situation with you. Unfortunately, you can't change someone's actions or who they are. But it's best to accept them as they are. Depression is caused by helplessness- feeling like you can't necessarily change something. Acceptance of that is important. Hatred does nothing but give someone unnecessary helplessness and anxiety. I hope this helps a bit! Have a lovely day.
Sometimes hate can be that temporary hate and sometimes it can be that unforgiving hate. First you need to decide what hate it is. And yes, that unforgiving hate does exist between blood. Why Because stuff happens. If it's that temporary hate you can talk it out. Of course depending on age. Saying it out loud helps. Because he might say why? and you have to list these reasons and then you think to yourself are these really good reasons to hate my little brother or is it all just trivial stuff. if it's that unforgiving hate then maybe thinking about forgiveness. It's hard but in the end hating someone is only hard on you.
In the experience of my friends with little brothers, they often hated their brothers because their lives were too intertwined. Every bad thing the brother said or did, had too much of an effect on the sister, they couldn't get away. My advice is to try to be more independent from the little brother. Spend more time apart, especially when you've had a tough day already. Take breaks, move to a different area of the house or go outside somewhere else. Since you're the older sister, you have to be the one to move because you have the most freedom and smarts. And remember, they're younger and less mature than you. Maybe try scheduling in time with your little brother so you can still have a relationship with them, but be mentally prepared each time. Then maybe the hate will slowly fade.
You have to stem down to the reason you think you "hate" him. Is it hate? Or do you envy him for some reason? In most cases, from what I've seen, older siblings that resent their younger siblings is not due to just hating them - it's jealousy. Do they get special treatment? Do you find your parents pay more attention to your brother than they do to you? In most cases, it's not hatred. It's jealousy. Focus on the reasons you think you resent him - and try to find a solution. If it's something to do with him receiving special treatment, talk to your parents. If you and your brother don't get along, talk to him, and try to fix things.
You tell yourself that it's okay if he annoys you, it's okay if he takes you to your limits, it's okay if he pokes into everything that you doing just due to curiosity, and it's okay if he at times makes you cry. Just know that he's your little brother, who hasn't seen the world as good as you. If he spoils your mood, you spoil him with your love. If he pokes into your business, poke his little nose as a mere act of affection. As you have a little brother, others don't. Appreciate what you have, and respect what you don't. At the end of the day, he's your brother who deep down surely looks up to you. Talk to him, tell him how you dislike certain things he does. Communication makes everything healthy.
Siblings often resent each other. Arguing with, fighting with, and ignoring siblings is completely natural. Realizing that at some points there are situations when both parties are at fault, can help you realize that emotions are complicated and that maybe hatred can be calmed with control of emotions.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2017 6:56pm
Although siblings can be annoying and although they sometimes are a part in rivalry, they are our playmates, our teachers and our protectors in the long run. To have someone who could watch your back in bad times and provide you a support no one else can do is priceless. That's why, even though we are annoyed at them from time to time, it might be a good thing to keep in mind that our little brothers are there for us.
I think siblings will always have a love-hate relationship. But in the end, always remember that the best gift your parents could ever give you is your sibling. You may not see it now but someday, when all this "hate" fades away, you will see that bond.
hate often comes from a place of misunderstanding. Is is important to acknowledge that although you and your brother might be very different people who do not mix very well together, it does not mean he is not worthy of respect or the same treatment you would want from others. Try to avoid situations of conflict when possible
Anonymous
August 18th, 2017 12:00pm
Spend more time with him, introduce him to games that you enjoy and that you could play together, this way you can bond and learn more about eachother
Remind yourself that he shares your blood. He's born into your family, just a few years later than you have. Just close your eyes and think for a second. How would you feel if he wasn't present in your life for a day? I have a little brother myself. I can't think of a day without him. I resented him when I was younger, but he never resented his older sister. He loved me everyday and he proved it through actions when he was at the tender age of 5 years old. So, don't hate your brother. Although you may, he'll never do so.
Anonymous
October 14th, 2017 5:38pm
Play with your little brother, read him books, laugh a lot, play board games, always say that you love him when he gets hurt and then give him a kiss on the cheek, he is just little trying to learn new things about the world around us and the little ones depend on the big ones to be nice to them and to look out for them, so always remember we were once little too and we were probably the same way.
A question I used to ask myself when my little brother and I didn't get along well was, "Is it worth it to hate him?" I cannot move forward projecting my emotions if I cannot rationalize the emotion. In the end, I end up drained, fatigued and just fed up with my behavior and feelings towards someone, even if in my honest opinion, my emotions are merited/ valid. In the end, is it worth it, for yourself, to hate him?
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 11:15pm
Calm down, he's little not everything he does is going to be perfect he's young and still has Alot to learn. I've learned this from experience
Anonymous
December 13th, 2017 8:17pm
It is very hard to understand that your little brother didn't do anything to come into the world. Find ways to connect with him and understand him a little bit better. I have found out that with a connection it is easier to understand.
Start by seeing that he is the person with whom you live and you will be connected for life, whether you want to or not, but if you hate him, it is because you care, maybe he should stop caring and maintain respect and indifference, so it will not be part of your life and you will not spend your energy and time hating it, or maybe you should just talk to him, it depends on the cases of each one but, maybe you will discover things about your brother that you did not know before :)
Anonymous
January 10th, 2018 8:46am
There are good and bad aspects of everything depending on who you are. Siblings never constantly like each other. However it's a good idea to also look at the good from your brother, even if it isn't aimed at you. Does he get good grades, ride a skateboard well, is he a good friend, etc.? Try to find the good in there.
Understand that maybe he does things to irritate you or make you hate him because he is upset about the lack of attention he gets, or perhaps he wants to be like you. Most of the behaviors younger siblings do stem from their desire to be like their older siblings. Try to be patient with him, as you are older and more mature, and try to focus on good qualities that he has day by day.
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2018 8:28pm
What you want to do is find out the root of your hatred and find a way to ease the anger. Talking it out is often the best, just approaching it directly.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 12:50pm
everyday think of 3 things that you love and appreciate about him, concentrating on the positive things about him may help lessen the negatives.
Understanding that your brother is younger than you, and is your family. No matter what, you’ll always have him.
Have you tried finding a mutual interest something that you both enjoy doing or something you could enjoy doing together? Maybe even taking time to look at photos and recall memories from happier times can help bring you closer together
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 4:45am
He is your little brother, imagine if you lost him. Think of that feeling, not a good feeling right? Don't take everything for granted, especially for your loved ones.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 5:26am
This is a question that requires you to look at a lot of things. There would always be a reason for such hate. The best way would be to look at why you hate them. Going to the root of the problem is important. having found what the cause is , you need see if a solution can be found. Since you want to stop hating you little brother, and the fundamental being "you" want to stop , you should know that where there is a will there is always a way. Primarily however it would be best to see the root of the problem
I think getting to know him and learning why you are so angry about things could help you find compassion in things. Siblings are often hard to deal with, but remember, they too are going through things. Perhaps he may not see things as maturely as you do, but give it some time, he may need to grow a bit more. Most siblings torture each other when they are young, but gain a great bond as they grow. Be patient and try to stay calm during those tough days by not giving into the anger but instead, find a positive coping skill that works for you. It could be writing, music, taking a walk or calling a friend. Good luck!
Try to understand where he's coming from. Try to remember what you were like at that age. Maybe try and spend some time with him or try and give yourself space if you need some. Remember that he's growing and we've all been there.
A lot of the time, hating someone comes from them reminding you of something you don't like about yourself. It's important not to be outwardly rude towards your little brother and instead question what it is about him you hate, and if the things you hate about him, are fears about yourself you have yet to address.
I can certainly understand how little brothers may cramp your style. ;) Tell me a little about what you hate about him. Just for fun, for everything you name that you hate about him you must name one thing that you like about him. Let's try that, ok?
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