Who do I get over the feeling of wanting to hurt someone, who hurt me?

Though the desire to have someone feel the anger or hurt that they have caused you is very tempting sometimes, it is only a temporary salve that will not make you feel any better in the long run. Whenever I feel like this, I'm reminded of a quote which goes 'Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace', which is very true!

I make that decision clearly and quickly. Tit for tat can for from blow for blow fairly quickly. My truth is that I won't always get an apology, but it's not my problem. Once I have been hurt to the point that I want to hurt back, I need to walk away for as long as it takes -perhaps forever. My future will not be as bright with dirt on my conscience. They can sleep on that muddy pillow.

I don't know, but I am in the same boat. I was molested as a child by people who I thought was supposed to take care of me. I was always wonder why I was so suicidal all the time and depress, until I was able to come out to my therapist. It's created a lot of problems between my dad and I. I can't cope with the anger and pain.

Revenge does not take away your personal pain, thinking of it just takes away from your ability to move on so in a sense you are punishing yourself.

Forgiveness. Letting go. Understanding that hurting them wont help you. Understanding that hurting people hurt people.

Realizing that holding onto the hurt is also hurting you as well. You don't have to forgive and forget, but you have to know when enough is enough and simply let go.

All actions cause reactions whether they are positive or negative. In life we must move on in order to thrive

How do i get over the feeling og wanting to hurt someone, who hurt me? I just learn to accept with time that this person doesnt deserve to have me in his life anymore and that i am better off without him. But once i get the feeling of taking my revenge, i realise i dont have to fall to his level and i simply move on. :)

That could be difficult. Especially when you have been hurt. Its easy to want to feel that you need to seek revenge. Perhaps talking to a trusted person about your feelings could help. Not everyone is the same. So you need to find what works for you.

First of all I am sorry to know that you were hurt, we all know how terrible it is to struggle from false accusations or unfriendly intentions, it’s totally understandable that you have the feeling of wanting to hurt back the people who hurt you before. But also I think it’s important to let you know that forgiving isn’t a sign of being soft or something wrong like you thought it might be. Forgiving means you’re free from the old nightmares you’ve suffered and you’re growing into a more matured man. Revenge may sounds like a cool choice but what price you two will take after that? Only the endless fights and worse endings you’ll eventually regret. Accept not everyone is nice and recognize their features, learn to socialize/deal with these kind of people and keep yourself away from meaningless wars. When someone gave you scars, you can draw stars around them.

Hurting someone else is never the answer. If they hurt you and you are defending yourself, maybe then. If someone hurt you and you're not defending yourself, it's best to tell someone that can do something about the person that hurt you.

I would like to first of all say it is good you want to make peace with the thought, feeling of wanting to cause someone harm because they hurt you. Depending on how poorly some treated you in the past (cheating, abusing, neglecting, blaming, not inviting you to a party etc) you may want to reflect what exact emotions were you feeling when you were let down. It is also important to acknowledge your values and whether your behaviors or actions go against those values. A serious question to ask yourself is what feelings do you get when you are watching and reading violent content which is graphic etc and is this in any way encouraging the curiosity about what it would feel like to inflict harm? You may want to reflect on whether someone has told you or shown non-verbally that you have hurt them. Would you encourage them to take revenge on you, make amends or end the relationship in a straightforward, sensitive way? If you are struggling with thoughts regarding causing harm to others you may want to refer to sites such as International OCD foundation. A listener would suggest you refer to 7cups.com/crisis to get support for the struggle to cope with thoughts of wanting to hurt others. Reading this article could be helpful providing some examples on what maybe happening potentially and if you can relate (https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-violent-obsessions/). Discussing your concerns with a doctor maybe helpful - it maybe a scary step but could be useful in giving a name to what your going through and the management to your urges.