How to talk to a therapist without your parents knowing?
234 Answers
Last Updated: 06/04/2022 at 5:56pm
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
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Tania
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Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 5:52pm
Maybe it’s best if your parents know.But if you don’t want them knowing try maybe a school counselor
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 11:24pm
I've already tried doing that and I wasn't able to succeed. If you're a minor, your parents are going to have to make an appointment (I tried making it on my own, didn't work) and if you need insurance, your insurance will probably notify your parents.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2018 5:32am
Being a minor this can be extremely difficult as you are most likely on your parents insurance. If your therapist does not require guardian consent you can always email them inquiring how your sessions will appear on the insurance statements. You may also consider inquiring about out of pocket payments
Try free counseling and professional help online. But before that, try talking it out with your parents. Understand them and make them understand you. If that doesn’t work, try seeking online help♡
Honestly, you really can't. One thing you could try is when you go to get your regular doctor's check-up, you could ask to talk to them privately. Another thing you could to is talk to a school counselor. We all at 7Cups are here to help!
you are able to talk to therapists on 7 cups
you can also go to the doctors and ask to see a therapist but that you dont feel comfortable with your parents knowing at the moment
If you are still under the legal guardianship of your parents, you cannot see a therapist physically without parental consent for insurance reasons. However there are online resources that can vary in prices, but there is also a free online service: http://freeonlinetherapy.org/
Try talking to a school counselor or a teacher or a friend, childline, the mix, seven cups or even teach yourself some self-soothing skills.
I had to deal with this. It's not fun. My parents hate therapy. Do an online therapy, and choose one that you don't need insurance for. Use your debit card or credit card to pay for it. Best of luck.
You can talk to me. 7 cups is a great step for wanting a therapist. We may not be professionals on here, but we sure do try our best to help you out.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2018 5:39am
We do have therapists on this site that you can talk to, and if you have an online payment system, unless your parents frequently check your bank account or sites you visit, they probably wouldnt find out about you seeking professional help. Sometimes schools (mainly colleges) offer therapy as well (and depending on the college it could be free!).
You can speak to a counselor on Childline.com without anyone knowing. it is confidential & helpful if you don't want people to know.
Anonymous
August 26th, 2018 9:14pm
If you are over 18 and have the money and time to do so, you can talk to a therapist without your parents knowing. They don't need to know if you are an independent adult. However, if you are a minor, talking with your parents about wanting help from a therapist isn't a negative thing. I suggest speaking to them about it. If you don't feel safe doing so, you can always chat with listeners here on 7 Cups for free! I hope that all gets sorted out and you can get the help that you deserve. You are wonderful, don't forget that!
Anonymous
October 25th, 2018 12:22pm
A good therapist does not share your personal information with your family, you should trust your therapist for this, so will provide the best support for you. Please do not hesitate to go to the therapist to be better, leave your concerns aside and stand up for yourself. All things are possible if you believe. Put your negative thoughts aside and take a step for yourself, even if it is small, and be patient and everything will be improved over time. You have more than you think, so you have to believe in yourself, If you think that something is not going well in your life, it's time to make some changes.
It depends how old you are. If you are in school, there ought to be a guidance counselor you can talk to.
If you live at home and cannot leave without your parents noticing, you can secretly talk to a therapist through services like 7cups that offer online therapy for relatively cheap prices.
If you live independently but are on your parents' insurance, you will need to either pay out-of-pocket for a therapist, or call your insurance company and ask them to send the EoB (explanation of benefits) to you directly instead of to the primary account holders (your parents).
Best of luck, friend.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2018 8:21pm
So seven cups is always a valid option for this. However, if you need a trained professional you should definitely consider telling your parents you need to reach out for help. In the end telling your parents will be better than not getting the help you need and deserve. If you feel genuinly unsafe disclosing information about your mental health to them, there are online options. The only downside to online options would be that it isn't as personal and most of them will have you do monthly payments. The best thing to do though is reach out to a trusted adult and see if they can get you the help you need.
Depending on where you live you are allowed to speak to a therapist or counsellor or someone of that sorts confidentially without parents knowledge or consent. (It can have anywhere to do with how old you are to what exactly you share with them). You can also always try to speak to a school counsellor as well or maybe even a hotline. Not all hotlines are for urgent help and will talk to you about anything that may be going through your mind. We here on 7 Cups are also here to speak and listen to you. I hope that things work out for you. Stay strong!
I believe we should have the support of our parents about what's happening in our lives, and it is important to make them understand that you need a therapist. If you don't feel comfortable enough to talk to them, at least try to find someone that could listen to you, until you feel like you can talk to your parents and ask for professional help. It is difficult to hide such things, especially the important ones, and it takes time to feel comfortable. Internet can helps a lot if you look in the right place. Right place in the right moment, with the right person, and everything will start working in your favor. Don't give up of asking for help.
Most schools have school therapists that are willing to help you. Just go to your school's website and you'll probably find information on that topic. Your parents don't have to know that way, as it's at school and can sometimes even be during classes. Everything you discuss with him/her is completely confindential, so you don't have to worry about anything influencing your grades or relations with teachers or anything. Another possibilty would be to look for a therapist on the internet for example, that is covered by your medical insurance. That way your parents won't have to pay for it and it is also completely confindential, so they don't have to know about it.
State by state laws differ regarding treatment and billing. I would stress that anything discussed in treatment should be held in confidence no matter the age unless it is something related to self harm or the possibility of criminal activity. I do not counsel for a living, but I do have many young people that I talk to because they know that I won't go back and tell their parents unless I feel there's something serious, and I would absolutely involve them in that conversation. Maybe start with a school counselor or a trusted teacher, religious leader, or parent of a friend.
Check out the laws for your area! I know when I was a minor the state I lived in allowed minors to consent to mental health services without their parents knowledge for age 13 and above. Also school counselors aren't always qualified to give actual therapy, but many people do find speaking to them to be helpful. I know they also should be able to connect you to other resources if they do not feel like they can provide you with enough support. Keep in mind though if you want to use your parent's insurance for therapy they will probably have to find out- but you could still not share the reason with them if you prefer.
That is a tough one - I had parents that weren't very understanding of the need for mental health help. I was able to find programs with counselors through school and also most counties offer some type of aide or clinic to obtain counseling or therapy. Hopefully you can find a place to obtain the help you need! And as always - 7cups is a great resource for talking or therapy. I would check out what they have to offer online as well - perhaps look into seeing a therapist online if you can afford to pay for it out of pocket. That way your parents would not have to get involved.
In general, therapists must abide by confidentiality agreements. Even if your parents suspected you were seeing a therapist, the therapist could not tell them any information.
Seeking professional therapy through 7 cups may work out for you, especially if you feel the need to hide therapy sessions. You can schedule therapy sessions without needing to explain where you are driving at a given time every week.
All of that being said, though, therapy is nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody needs a little support sometimes, and mental illness is no less a disease than cancer, heart disease, or the flu.
Anonymous
June 19th, 2019 1:57am
Doctors and therapists have a strict doctor-patient confidentiality rule. If you don't want your parents to know, just tell your therapist that. Unfortunately you will likely have to pay for the appointments out of pocket, but your health care provider may also cover the costs. In my experience, a therapist is only allowed to report a patient if the patient is showing suicidal symptoms, tells them they are thinking about committing suicide, or tells them they are thinking about, or have hurt themselves or someone else. Otherwise all appointments are completely confidential and the therapist or doctor will lose their license for breaking the confidentiality claus.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2019 4:34am
If you are looking to talk to a therapist without your parents knowing there are a few way. For instance: school counselor, websites, or your GP can refer you to a therapist. Although, family communication is very important. You family members are the closest people to you and are the people who care about you the most, so you should reach out to them first. If you don’t want to or feel like you can’t, a therapist is a great way to talk about the problems your experiencing. You can go to your school counselor, or if you are not in school or one isn’t available, there are websites that offer counseling, but you may have to pay.
Anonymous
October 17th, 2019 6:58pm
That can be tough.
If you are in school, you can talk to your guidance counselor and they may be able to help you. Your school may also have a school psychologist (therapist) to talk to.
The difficulties you may face with seeing a therapist who's not in your school are transportation (if you don't drive or have public transport where you are), insurance (if you use your parents' health insurance, it will show up on their bill), and cost (therapy can be expensive, even with insurance there are sometimes co-payments).
Try to get a trusted adult to help you.
I wish you the best of luck.
Getting the help you need is important. If my parents had allowed me to continue therapy and medication as a child, my experiences prognosis likely would have been much better.
If you're under 18, that might not even be legal. Other than crisis counseling, medical providers aren't allowed to service a minor without parental consent. You might be able to get help in school. Your school's guidance counselor might me more aware of local laws and how they would apply to getting you service, as well as ideas for how to pay for that assistance. Alternatively, you could speak to your doctor (pediatrician) and ask for help. I suppose if there is a specific therapist you have in mind (or if you know one you feel safe asking), that person might be able to direct you as well. Good luck!
Sometimes people feel like it doesn't help talking you to your parents about your mental health; and that they would rather keep it private between them and a therapist or listener - and that's okay!
Everyone has different things that they're comfortable and uncomfortable with and it's important that you are comfortable.
The thing that I would ask you to think about though, is how long do you intend to keep this away from them? Lets say you speak to a therapist for a year, do you wish to keep your activity unknown by your parents for that whole year? Mental health complications is something no one should feel ashamed of; it's something everyone goes through and, although you may not want support from your parents, it may still be useful for them to know.
Anonymous
January 9th, 2020 10:31pm
If you are under 18 and in school, there are counselors at the school that you can approach confidentially. Every school has a guidance counselor, so they can talk with you, or they can refer you to someone else at the school. Usually counselors will honor your request not to share the initial conversation with your parents. If you are over 18, there are site online that offer counseling and your parents would not need to know about it. There are different options depending on your age and whether you are in school. Options exist and your parents would not need to know initally. You can also always start by asking someone who to speak with and note that right now you do not want your parents involved. Most people will help.
You can go to therapist without telling it to your parents. If you live with parents, just say to them that you go to see friends or that you have got some obligations when you go out. You needn't tell anything about therapy to your parents. Other story is when therapy involves talking to your parents. In my opinion in your case therapy where you have to talk to your parents to progress in therapy isn't right for you and you can consider telling your therapist that you can't talk to your parents about your past issues or childhood and propose other therapeutic methods or you can change the therapist (and thus also change the date and hour when you go to therapist to the date and hour which best suits you.
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