How do I help explain to a parent that what I feel is valid after they reacted badly?

My mom and I love each other very much. I’m grateful for her every day. But every once and a while me and my mom diss agree on something and yell at one another. I end up feeling awful and guilty for yelling at my mom and apologize to her almost immediately afterwards. But recently I’ve discovered that that is not quite the way to go around the issue. Recently, I’ve made a point of talking about the issue after we’ve both calmed down. Sometimes it ends quickly, other times we both have to leave the room again in order to not have to start all over again. I’ve learned through this experience that my feelings are valid and I shouldn’t feel guilty for sharing how I’m feeling.

If a parents is to react badly to how you are feeling, explain to them If you can why you are feeling this way, and that you have told them because you are reaching out for help, that you want to do something about your situation. You don't want to be judged etc, you just want them to understand or at least try to understand your situation. Let them know how long you have been feeling this way for and that it is valid even if they don't full understand your situation, let them know that you have been struggling if this is the case and that you trust them enough to help you and not judge the situation.

This can be hard but honestly just tell them that you are trying to share your feelings and trying to be honest. And all you need is there help and acceptance.

There is a difference between Reacting and Responding. When we are reacting no matter the person be a parent or child, their mind is actually quick to react to a situation which they are uncomfortable with. So what we experience a heated argument is basically because we couldn't comprehend the communication leading to no logical rational and reasonable answers. One should gradually learn to sink in, let the heated emotions settle down and articulate in a better positive way in a context with the way listener or receiver of those messages truly feel that it's not a tussle to prove who is right or wrong but find a truce of the debate and a solution. So when we are thinking to explain something think to respond in a way they can relate to. Be it a parent or anyone. It's not about proving a point or making sure we are the right in all aspects, it's about sharing a thought that, we all are individuals and we have differences of opinions and different ways to look at this. And you see "It's all fine that way". So articulation, communication is not so easy to quickly come to our minds when we jump to react but wait, have patience, think and not get emotionally drained by the onslaught of hurdles of hatred by ease up a bit and respond in a positive note so that everyone agrees to that stance.

Well, it's relative you know? think about what valid is, or what valid means really. say one person cannot see red. and you present violet color, to a normal person and to this person. normal person will see violet, that's her "valid" color but this person will see blue only, that's her "valid" so each of us, have our preferred truths, beliefs. even though beliefs are not infinite in numbers, we can choose different sets, unique sets. (and more over, we also attribute to them, different importances too) so, it's not about the parent, or child, or whom ever. it's about your beliefs, your point of view, and theirs. you can present your point of view, yeah but this doesnt imply that the recipient (your parent in this case) will also accept it as truth, or will even listen to you :D even if your parent listens, and realizes what you believe in, this doesnt mean she will also approve :D that's the parent right, as a person, the person has the right to choose to believe whatever the person wants to believe. so, if you actually meant "how i can convince the parent", then it's not possible, it never is. if you meant really "how i present my point of view" then it's nice and dandy as long as you don't try to impose your point of view and start a war for it

Feelings aren't just something we can continue to bottle up. No matter how a parent or someone you trust and respect reacts, your emotions and theirs will change, but feelings will always remain. You can't force something that's embedded within yourself, most especially if you've been fighting it for quite a while. No one has the right to degrade or belittle someone who's feelings they attain. Parents should understand that perspectives play a huge role when it comes to feelings, they may not exactly feel what their child is going through and being mindful of their actions and reactions is definitely a must, as kids may also react.

Sometimes parents react out of fear or anger before they think. It might be best in this situation to let them cool down a bit. Then once you both have had time to think we approach the conversation with a level head. They might have to take a little bit more time to come around. No that no matter what they say your feelings are valid, and so are their’s. The key is to come to an agreement or at least an understanding. it won’t always be easy, but that is why we are here to support you through hard times. No matter what they say no that they love you and most likely want what’s best for you.

Calmly but firmly state your viewpoint. Make sure they understand that you are not trying to be combative, but are rather trying to give them a perspective on how you feel.

You have no control over how your parent reacts. Nor do they have control over what you feel about it. All of us feel and must recognize that having feelings is part of being human. What we do about our feelings is up to us alone.

You can use an "I" message. I-messages can be used to express feelings to someone without being confrontational. For instance, saying: "I felt x when you did z," is a lot less aggressive and less accusatory than saying: "You make me x when you y."

Truth and love. Try to remain calm; nothing validates a parent's bad reaction more than acting out. Calmly restate yourself, try to rephrase what you said before, say things like "I'm sorry you feel that way but this is really important to me," or "I feel hurt that you are discrediting this. Please help me." or even just turn this question into your explanation: "What I feel is valid, but you reacted badly to it, and I really need help right now."

Tell them that even if they don't agree, don't understand, or don't want you to feel that, you'll still feel that way, tell them that is a real feeling even if they don't want it to be.

I`m not sure if you can. Because the bad reaction to you often shows a certain amount of ignorance. Of course you can try to explain yourself, but often the bad reaction itsself shows a certain lack of tolerance for certain things you do.

Once they've reacted badly, give them space. Calmly state that your feelings are your own and real, and then leave the area. Once they're are calmer (you as well) try to bring up the subject again.

Let them calm down ,wait for some time and after that you should try to explain the situation using some practical examples. Always works for me. 😃

Wait for the parent to calm down if they seem stressed, angry or frustrated. And then when they appear to be 'level headed' try to bring the conversation up and calmly explain to them how you feel and that what you feel is right. If you need help ask for it and it will ease the conversation by making them feel appreciated

Wait until everyone is calm and then explain your feelings, whether they accept it is another story.

you can explain to a parent that what you feel is valid after they reacted badly by first finding them when they are calm and carefully and slowly explaining it to them in the kindest way possible

Sometimes they won't understand the validity of your feelings, the important thing is that you know you're being honest with yourself and that you know what you feel is definitely valid.

Emphasize on how your feeling, try and make them understand that these feelings your having are real, and that you can't help but feel them.

Parents are usually not good at validating our feelings but the first step towards making them understand that our feelings are valid are through a calm and open conversation. First, please know and never lose sight of the fact that your feelings are valid. Second, try to understand where they are coming from and what made them react that badly. Third try to restate your feelings again building on what they have already said to you as to why they reacted badly. If they still dont understand you, keep having those honest conversations. Always make sure to check in with yourself and how these conversations affect you to make sure you are always working towards your own wellbeing.

It’s really hard. Try to use a dear man. Describe what’s going on then express how you feel. Next assert -tell them what you need and r Reinforce . How this is good for both of you. Feel free to message me if you have questions! Here’s a example. When we where talking earlier about my anxiety you made me feel really invalidated. I really think it would best if we try to validate each other’s feelings. This way there are less arguments and our relationship is better. I really appreciate you listening to me and what I have to say

By using words that don't start by blaming them for how they reacted. Or even telling them how bad you felt by the way they reacted. One should start with an apology about the thing which made the parents react that way. It will help the parent to calm down and listen to the opinion of their child. And, after the apology two things may happen one they may automatically understand their behavior and apologies for it their way. Or the child could explain the way he/she felt after their reaction. It will help them understand that the child isn't attacking him with the blame games but making a point. Also, it will give them a clearer mind to understand the same.

It's a hard one, isn't it... When you feel not understood or your feelings are overlooked. I think a lot of parents find it hard to actively listen and sympathise as much as someone who is not as emotionally involved in your life, your parent in your case. But know that they really do want the best for you but probably have not learnt active listening, which I weirdly realised after coming here and becoming a listener. You can ask them to just listen to you and repeat what you said and ask if they can see it from your point of view. Walk a mile in your shoes if you will... I am still trying to figure it out with my parents. But I hope this helps somewhat!

Getting them to a place where they can listen is the first step. No one can fully pay attention in the heat of the moment. So, I would start by letting them know that I understand why they might have reacted in such a way, while using a calm, warm tone. Parents can get overprotective because in most cases they want what is best for their child. As soon as the tension is somewhat relieved, I would reassure them that my intensions were not to defy or undermine them but that it would benefit both parties if they understand my view of the situation and do my best to give clear arguments. This might not apply to every situation, but being calm and respectful is a great start when trying to discuss something sensitive with parents.

This can be a problem of generation gap. It is very important to express yourself in a way which is not hurtful for them too. So try to be patient with them and also explain yourself in a way that doesn't hurt them too. Try to understand where they are coming from and then work your way around at changing that point. Statements like : -The other day we had an argument about this thing. - I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. -It hurt me really bad that you couldn't understand me. -I would appreciate if you could try to give a chance at understanding me.

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Relationships with parents are difficult however your feelings are one hundred percent yours and nobody can take that away from you. Since they reacted poorly remember that you can disagree on opinions but you cannot disagree on your emotions since they are yours. It also may be helpful to keep repeating that they are valid so that you remember why you need to explain it to them so that if there is a next time you are ready for another explanation. You are not at fault for what someone else does. Also, don't forget to take your time when explaining the situation to them and do some calming exercises before so you are not too anxious.

While this may be difficult to hear, we can never force anyone to accept anything. Even if we use violence or abuse to coerce them into believing what we want, in their hearts they may still hold their previous belief. Ultimately, the only person who can validate your beliefs...is you! However, it is very painful when we are not acknowledged or accepted. The first step is letting the other person know how you felt and why, without being accusatory. If we are accusatory, they may just shut down and no longer want to hear what we have to say. When open communication is an option, we should always strive to connect with others.

I think this might happen because of the cognitive gap. Cognitive gap is a thing that you feel different from others, such as your parents. However, I believe that everyone will probably have different perspectives, and it is normal to have different opinion towards one thing. Parents might more mature than you, but if you really feel valid, you can explain your own views and demonstrate that your opinion is reasonable. And you can politely suggest to your parents to let them try to think differently towards this issue, maybe they will feel better even though they feel badly at the first time.