So I think I'm Bi but I'm not really interested in engaging in anything at the moment. What would you class it as? I have only recently come out to one person in my life and I need advice.
4 Answers
Last Updated: 02/17/2020 at 7:06am
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Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
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If you experience attraction to more than one gender, then it's right to identify as bi. Your orientation is based on who you are attracted to rather than who you have experience with. You may or may not be interested in engaging with someone for many reasons, but as long as you feel like you could be attracted to people of different genders you are still bi.
There is absolutely no rush to label yourself. Remember sexuality is fluid and whatever you are attracted to is valid. I would say for now you are questioning, and the lgbtq+ welcomes you- q is for q(uestioning) in the acronym. Though it is completely up to you to classify yourself, because you know yourself best.
Don't feel pressured to know right away, or to tell everyone. Just do what feels comfortable. This is a safe place to talk about anything.
And remember you don't have to engage in anything to know what your sexuality is.
take care, and just remember to have fun :D
Whatever sexuality you identify as, it does not mean that you have to immediately start dating or having sexual relationships with people. If you feel that that is how you should be behaving, it may be more about you feeling like you have something to prove to others and/or to yourself. Sometimes the first step is accepting your sexuality and being quietly comfortable with it, before you can take that next step. If you are not 100% sure of your sexuality, there is no rush or pressure to go out and have relationships. It is great that you felt able to come out to someone you know, that can be really helpful.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2020 7:06am
How come you think you are bi?
You don't need to like someone or be in love in order to figure out your sexuality. You also don't need to be with two different genders before you can say "I'm bi". I know people that are bisexual but have never been with someone from their own gender. That doesn't make them any less of a bisexual person than someone who has been with two genders. I'm pansexual and when I first started to think about it, I asked myself "Do I really care what gender a person is in order for me to love them? The answer was no. That's how I found it out. You can ask yourself "Would it matter for me romantically/sexually what gender I am with?" and if so, "Why?". That way you can learn a little bit more about yourself.
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