How do I know if I'm a bully?

You know you're a bully when you start doing things that bring harm to others. Physically, Emotionally, any type of harm. Being a bully isn't good, yes. But bullies are just people who are going through something too. If you are going through something then you might want to find another way to cope up instead of bringing it out to others. There are different types of bullying; physical, verbal, cyber, etc. But all of them have one thing in common; they bring pain. And not just to the victims, but also to the bullies themselves. I've written a speech about this matter for our public speaking activity before so yeah. I've also lived through the experience of being bullied and being a bully. And I can tell you one thing about experiencing both; none of them felt good. But they do have lessons for you to learn so that you won't have to do another mistake as you did before. But it's your choice though.

You know that you're a bully if people you're connected to and communicate with are starting to self-isolate themselves from you, shut down, they are silent and don't share much about their life with you anymore. If they are not telling you directly what is wrong you might show some compassion and reach out to them first genuinely asking how they feel about your relationships. Some people are very direct and are capable of telling you that your actions are hurting them but some people are not like that and you have to be bold about it if you feel like they are pulling away from you.

Treacherous and deceiving, a bully could show compassion and compromise in the stages of initiation. But as we interact with others, as we realise the gradual degredation of value people feel among our presence, we must differentiate ourselves; the victim or the bully. It may be hard to come accept a title that society seems inappropriate, but to ignore and remain on this path is to be willing to inflict harm onto others, whether physical or psychological. To know if you are the bully, is to analyse your interaction with people and their reaction with you. Are you respected for your actions are admirable, or from the fear you depart to your victims.

Well if you’re a bully then there must be a victim. Think about who in your social circle most likely fits into that role. Then look at the relationship you have with that person. Are you equal or are you clearly superior? Do you tend to push them around or verbally abuse them? Do you think they have as much fun as you when you interact? Try to put yourself into the persons head and think whether you would feel bullied by yourself. But keep in mind that perhaps that person is more sensitive than you so they feel bullied when you wouldn’t. After you‘ve considered all of this the answer should be a lot clearer to you

A self-introspect can help you know if you're a bully but it doesn't help you resolve the issue. Try to understand it from a 3rd person. It is also obvious that if you have hurt somebody with intention to see them suffer, you're a bully. However, if you know what you have done is immoral and unethical, you deserve a second chance. Change is not immediate but gradual. Work towards being a better person every day by listening and helping people out. At the end of every day, reflect on what you have done to make others happy. The first step is to accept the way you are and the second step is to believe that you can change.

I feel that if one sets out with the intention to demean or belittle another person this would fall under the basic definition of a bully. As a person who was incessantly bullied throughout school and in the community, I can speak to how it hurts someone quite deeply. I chose to use my protective mechanisms to mentally block out what they were saying and doing and always remembered my dad telling me that there was nothing wrong with me, that in fact there was something deeply wrong with them. It is important to remember that people often bully because there is something in their lives that is not being met and that they themselves may just need someone to listen.

Has anyone called you a bully? Maybe they do not dare? In any case, you can guess if this describes you in other ways: Maybe people avoid you, or seem to be extra careful talking with you, are scared in your presence especially if alone with you. As long as you treat anyone else kindly, respectfully and as an equal, chances are you are not. If you are often taking a dominant posture, it may be construed as bullying. The best way to know for sure is to ask someone you trust what they think and how your behaviour might be construed as bully-ish.