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Why do we tend to keep wanting to go back to the person who has hurt us the most?

42 Answers
Last Updated: 10/12/2020 at 7:09pm
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Top Rated Answers
MindfulnessMedley
August 15th, 2017 5:19pm
I think there are two main reasons for this. One, the person is afraid of being alone. Two, the person has gotten used to abuse and thinks they deserve it/ think that is how people who love you always act. Either one is usually cause for help from a mental health professional.
Anonymous
September 21st, 2015 4:25pm
Because love can make things seem harder to everyone. But you will find something better who won't hurt you.
PippaRose
October 23rd, 2018 11:42pm
Because that's all we knew for some time. We think we won't find anyone like them ever again and all we had and we keep getting pushed to this snowball of emotions and hurting. Even if deep down we know that the right thing to do is to move on, even when we know this is gonna keep hurting more and more eveytime we go back. We just can't stand to never be with that person ever again. And we loved them so much that it hurts the most not to come back to them. So we keep coming back.
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2017 2:31pm
Because deep down in your heart you are hoping that person would change.. deep down you are hoping this time it will work out.. deep down you are hoping it will be different. It is a cliche but the one you love is the who will really hurt you the most. :(
RedBearShaman
October 12th, 2020 7:09pm
If someone has been able to hurt us in the past, it can mean that we were vulnerable enough to be hurt. It can mean that they know us on a deeper or more intimate level, and that can be a very powerful draw back to them, even in spite of having been hurt in the past. Sometimes, too, we can think about the time and effort we have already put into the connection with this person, and it can feel like that time was wasted if you don't go back or keep trying to progress with them, which can draw someone back. Familiarity can be a powerful draw. In addition, it can seem daunting to walk away from a person and begin forging a new path. Meeting new people and building new relationships / friendships takes work, and can come with a fear of rejection that can make it more appealing to go back to what we know, in spite of being hurt.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2015 5:49pm
Because at this point, they're comfortable, they're what you remember. You don't remember what it's like without them fufilling (the need they helped you meet) .
TheFrienduSeek
January 15th, 2018 1:36pm
there is basically lots of emotions and connection already established with the person , with whom we get hurt. because they did mattered to us the most and thats why the hurt.. its is this good memories which leads us to go back to that person who hurt us the most.
bubblingLove76
July 21st, 2015 2:40pm
Familiarity is one reason. Our minds tell us that moving on and starting over will be more brutal than the situation we came from. You must weigh the pros and cons of both and decide what's best for you.
intelligentPeace99
January 2nd, 2018 4:49am
We tend to go back to the person that hurts us the most because we are simply afraid to start over with someone new. Not many people enjoy change in that aspect, we love what we are comfortable with.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2017 6:58am
Because even if they hurt us they had done something previously which made us happy. And maybe at that time we thought we were the happiest person on the earth.
Popsicle1990
September 14th, 2015 8:11pm
Humans are creations of habit. sadly. sometimes we take their possessiveness as caring or feel to scared of the unknown that loneliness can have. Sometimes it needs the final straw to be broken or a shake up to see that it isnt want we want or need. it happens to us all.
FindYourStrength01
February 16th, 2016 6:36pm
Because at times was are afraid to know what else could happen or if we could find absolute joy in trying something different.