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Stacy Overton, PhD.
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I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.
Top Rated Answers
It could be many factors as to why you may feel isolated despite having a significant other. Chances are, you and the person may not be compatabile at all and thus, can not seek validation from one another on a deeper level as you simply do not click.
Maybe this person is not providing you with something that you need. Maybe theres a chance you could be depressed.
It sounds like your partner might not be pulling their weight in the emotional compartment of your relationship. They might not take care of your needs, even if you vocalize them, fail to communicate, or not spend enough time and effort on you. Try reaching out to your partner to explain your feelings clearly. If that bears no fruit, it is perfectly healthy and legitimate to take a break from your partner. An intimate relationship should make you feel warm, loved, comforted; if you never feel like that in yours, don't feel guilty about ending it.
Feeling alone in your relationship could mean a number of things. It could mean that your partner is not giving you the attention or time that you want, that you don't connect with them well on an emotional level, or many other reasons. Talking about it with your partner could be a great start, because they may be willing to change things to help how you are feeling, but sometimes feeling lonely in a relationship could be the first sign that you aren't in a relationship that suits what you need or want, and that you may be ready to move on
This may be a lack of communication between you and your partner. I know sometimes I feel alone in my relationship because I'm not getting the type of attention I want or need at the time. I find it is best to talk to my partner about how I am feeling and what I need at the time. This really strengthens our relationship and helps us to be more in tune to each others needs. That being said, it may turn out that your partner can't give you what you need and that is okay! Just know that communication is key.
When I had this weird unofficial-kinda-official relationship (yeah, it was really weird) with this girl when we were in high school, I felt the same similarly. She had tons of friends and also other girls who liked her. When she'd spend time with me and we'd hang out, I'd feel inadequate. That could be one reason why you may feel alone. Do you think it's the feeling of not being enough? Not "matching up" to your partner? Or deserving?
But maybe in your case it's not a matter of matching up -- but perhaps feeling like being unheard in the relationship. Not having your space held as much as your partners. Do you think it's more on this imbalance? In that case, is your partner open to talking about this? Sometimes our partners really are oblivious -- or they sense something is wrong but feel awkward or don't know how to approach this. I used to resent this girl because she couldn't seem to read my mind and I felt tired of being so empathetic and understanding hers. This created an imbalance and loneliness in my part.
Conversation opens up doors. I hope you get the answers you seek.
I would ask myself what would not feeling alone in this relationship would be like?
And, who in this relationship is creating the distance, me or them?
Lastly, how often do you reach out to your partner in times of vulnerability?
Feeling alone in a relationship can be slightly a complex thing. The sensation of loneliness comes from within ourselves and is based on conscious or subconscious perceptions about what we are experiencing.
What we need to figure out is what is it about the external experience is fitting so perfectly with that "lonely" worry we have within us.
Anonymous
October 21st, 2018 6:39am
You may feel alone in the relationship because the other person isn’t putting in as much effort as you or showing as much love as you. That’s a hard thing to get through, maybe try telling the person about how you feel alone or how you like they aren’t tying as hard as you to keep the relationship going and you want them to try a little harder, if that doesn’t work, maybe the relationship isn’t for you. Your deserve someone who will put in just as much time and effort into a relationship that you do. Remember that always.
Your partner may not be very understanding or provide the support that you may need. They may not be right for you. In a relationship, both parties needs are equally met. It is a lot like a balance with how each person shares their support, time and energy. It will not always be sunshine and rainbows but you will find a peace in having that balance. So they may not be the one for you or you need to take a look at how you are each spending your time and energy. It can be very individualized among different relationships.
From my own experience, usually when you feel this way, it's just because you really are. I know that sounds really sad, but sometimes it's actually a blessing in disguise. It's like someone just pouring cold water over your head and reminding you that maybe you're not in the best relationship. Maybe you've fallen out of love, if you get what I'm saying. Love isn't always eternal, and the worst thing ever is a relationship where you're forcing yourself to love someone who you honestly are beginning not to love. But the second that you ditch that relationship, you'll feel a lot more free-- I promise. And you'll find someone, eventually.
I understand exactly what you’re going through. Here’s what I have found through my personal experience, and I hope it helps. Sometimes in a relationship the very reason we enter one is to feel loved and not alone, but that isn’t an immediate solution. Loneliness is often something we put onto ourselves, we block ourselves off emotionally from many people and say we are alone, when really if we just let our walls down we would see an ocean of people that are there for us. So often in life we enflict loneliness on ourselves because we don’t feel like we are able to be open. So even in a relationship we can feel very alone when all we need to do is knock down our walls. Which by no means is a simple task.
I think that is because you are not receiving the amount if love and attention you want to receive, it may help to first figure out what you feel is missing, maybe you don't cuddle as much as you use to in the beginning if the relationship, maybe you don't talk as much and maybe you make all the decisions in the relationship and maybe you don't, either way figuring out what is missing and what you want can help then once you have a clear idea what what it is, talking to your partner about it is the next step, having a nice talk expressing how you feel and trying to figure out a way to fix the issue is the best way to go about.. Or so I like to think
Anonymous
January 5th, 2019 5:59pm
There are many reasons why you can feel alone in a relationship. From my experience a relationship is about controlling a balance. When you become attached to someone your world can become smaller, friends become more distant and you invest your time in one person and relying on one person for your sole happiness but one person cannot fulfill all your needs. There is still the person who was once young and capable inside who stills wishes and dreams for more. Remember who you were, rekindle friendships or make new ones, connect with them and family regularly. Include your partner but both have your own friendship circles. This will give you more to talk about with your partner or if you are feeling like you’re not quite as connected, respark the relationship. Find an activity you can do together, experience and laugh with each other.
Being trapped in isolated thoughts causes doubts and makes you more distant from your partner. This is my experience anyway.
Often relationships can become one sided after a while. Maybe that is why you're feeling this way. Maybe your partner is not providing you the emotional or physical or sexual support that you need from your relationship. When this happens a part of you starts feeling empty. You might've tried talking to your partner and it might've not gone as expected that could've only made things worse. Try talking to your partner about it. If not consider counselling. This must also be because of the insecurities you're experiencing (if you're experiencing any) which may make you feel more in your head and less able to relate to others and eventually make you feel alone. Try talking to someone about it. Hope it works out for you ✌ï¸
There could be many reasons for feeling alone despite having a partner. One of those reasons could be the lack of communication and therefore emotional connection as well. Perhaps you or your partner have stopped sharing things with one another, have stopped talking about your feelings and your relationship, which made you feel disconnected. Perhaps you changed, or your partner has, and you just want different things in life, or have different views on certain issues. This can often make one feel like they lack emotional support from their partner, which doesn’t have to be the case. Communicate your emotions to your partner and let them express their own feelings.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2021 4:19am
Sometimes a partner doesn’t give us the level of attentiveness we need to feel secure and cared for. Often times this is due to a lack of independence on our parts, and the need for validation. Other times it may be a sign that our partner is disengaged in the relationship and we might need to introduce this issue into a discussion to express our emotions. Regardless of the reason, the key here is communicating your feelings to your partner and making sure that they know how you are feeling, because we’re not mind readers. Communication is key, always .
Anonymous
January 20th, 2021 9:27pm
I believe you may feel alone in your relationship because you are not getting what you deserve. Relationships are a two way act. When only one person is putting in effort, the other is the only one getting attention. You may not feel heard, supported, or like you are in the relationship because of this. You feel as though you serve the partner instead of mutual service for each other. But service comes in many forms, such as listening, communicating, cooking, cleaning, or even just something to show them you love them. I think many people may follow their head and not their heart in relationships, which makes the partner feel abandoned.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2021 11:32pm
Sometimes one person can feel alone in a relationship by not communicating or talking out their thoughts or emotions. It can also hapen if active listening isnt a quality in your relationship as its important to posess that skill when working with other people. When someone is not heard it makes it harder for them to feel in sync and will likely lead to supressing emotions and other negitive qualities. If your lonely in your relationship it would be good to display your concerns to your partner and see if there is a way you teo can remedy th feelings of being alone
Anonymous
March 5th, 2021 12:15am
Maybe because the relationship has ended.
There is a lot of other reasons.
It might be because your board with each other.
Maybe it is time to find another person to have a relationship with.
Maybe the things you both liked, you no longer like doing.
My suggestions would be to try to do the following:
Find a new person, with whom you could be friends with.
If it works out then slowly try getting into a relationship with the other person.
Find out what went right in the relationship you had with the same person.
Ask the same person, if they feel alone as well.
If something went wrong, try to find out what it was, and try to repair it.
If you cannot, then move on from it.
Learn from it, and try not to make the same mistakes, in the new relationship.
There can be many reasons for feeling lonely despite being in an intimate relationship. Firstly, is it intimate at all? Not just physically but also emotionally. I have been in long-term relationships where we shared the same small apartment and bed every day and night but felt lonely because we lacked communication. As the honeymoon stage passes and you run out of exciting things to say or learn about each other, you may lose interest in the relationship. Another reason could be a lack of trust for your partner where you don't feel comfortable opening up to them about your feelings. Or perhaps it could stem from a passive aggressive personality. In general, keeping secrets or frustrations to yourself can make you feel alone and misunderstood. After all, nobody can read your mind, no matter how close they are.
To be honest, maybe you are in the wrong pairing. Maybe you are in no pairing at all to begin with because your partner's interest waned. Maybe it wasn't even there in the first place. This is a red flag to your emotional and overall psychological well being. Sometimes you are the one investing your all in the relationship and this is certainly draining energy in a situation where your partner is showing low effort. Relationships do have their lows but this is no certification to constantly feel alone. This might also be an indication that you are forcing issues in the hope that it will work. Perhaps it is an urge from your innermost feelings to make a move.
Anonymous
March 18th, 2021 6:09am
Because we come into this world alone and we shall depart it alone. In between, we may acquire some companionship, but even then, we are still alone.
We are brains resting in splendid solitude inside our cage of skull. We are souls in singular, encases behind layers and layers of obstruction, and no one will ever fully know our thoughts or feelings about life/the universe/everything--except we ourselves.
Physically, no matter how close a loved one clings to us, the times in which we are by ourselves doing something or other, will always outweigh the times in which we are not. Emotionally, sometimes even when we are in the same room, even within their embrace, we can still feel alone when we realize that their attention isn't on us at that moment; or, worse, their attention is fully upon us, and yet there still stretches a vast gulf between we and they.
The very best of what we can achieve is simply a delightful compromise.
A relationship is intended to be a mutual interaction between individuals where they each gain an emotional fulfillment or benefit from a desired goal.
In a romantic relationship, the people involved will seek to fulfill each others romantic desires and goals. However, these goals and desires need to be well discussed and communicated.
Communication is key in any relationship, especially in a romantic relationship. This communication needs to be happening with all the people involved in the relationship, because if even one of the persons involved isn't communicating effectively the relationship can fall apart.
If you are feeling so alone in your relationship, it may be time to assess your communication quality with the person in your relationship. Bring it to their attention as they may not know something is wrong and from there you may be able to better assess, fix, or judge how to deal with the problem of feeling alone much better. A relationship is like a dream team, and communication makes the team work!
Anonymous
April 8th, 2021 12:47pm
I'm so sorry you are feeling alone in your relationship. Are you happy? Do you feel loved? Are you spending quality time together? Does your needs and wishes matter in your relationship? Do you feel listened, supported? These are some questions that can help you to realise why you are feeling so alone in your relationship. Acknowledging the reasons you are feeling like that, you should open your heart and have an honest and clear conversation so the other person know how you are feeling and together work it out so you can feel better and in a positive relationship.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2021 6:03am
There are multiple factors why you feel alone in a relationship. It can be either lack of compassion from your significant other or lingering problems that is causing the distant feeling. It best to confront it rather than prolonged a stalemate relationship. Communication is key especially in a relationship, without it you won't know what is going on with you or your significant other. You have to know where their head is at and is it compatible with your goals especially in the matters of happiness or not. Its good to know why they are present or not. Thank you!
Anonymous
April 14th, 2021 9:46pm
In my experience, to feel alone around people is one of the most distressing things, as it can really feel like you are not doing enough, or you are doing things wrong and we tend to blame ourseves mostly for why the relationship does not feel as fulfilling as it should. But above all I believe that connection between people is lost when there is no open and honest communication. And communication is something that goes both ways, "it takes two to tango" fits perfectly in a situation like this. Communicating thoughts and emotions to the person you love, while they communicate what they think and feel to, feeling that you are heard and also listening, compassionately from both sides; it may sounds simple and easy but if those things are missing it is highly likely that the relationship will not feel fulfilling enough.
Feeling alone in a relationship is frustrating. When two souls share time together one would imagine reciprocal love, support and commitment. Sometimes when my expectations are too high or too low in a relationship I examine what’s working, what has worked and I communicate my needs to the partner. We aren’t always aware of others needs and needs are just that - a necessary component to a successful relationship. Consider your thoughts and take some time to formulate what you’d like to say and have an honest chat with your partner. See how this goes. If progress isn’t met, perhaps you will need to remember your worth and move on from this relationship that isn’t satisfactory.
Feeling alone in a relationship where you are supposed to feel accepted, loved, and celebrated is not normal. Usually, a person feels alone in a connection if their needs are not being met by the other person. This could be if for example your partner decides to spend time with their friends over you, they do not listen to your thoughts or comments about important decisions, or they belittle you if you express disagreement or discontent about something they have done.
A romantic relationship is a connection that is supposed to add to your life and not detract from it. If you are feeling too alone and neglected with your partner who is supposed to be chief supporter in life, then it's time to think about whether this connection is meeting your needs.
I think that if you're feeling alone in your relationship, it is important to talk to your partner about it. Chances are that you're in a one-sided relationship. If your partner is not reciprocating your feelings and actions, then they do not deserve you. They should make an active effort to change or it is best if you leave them.
It is also important to remember that you can be lonely even if you aren't physically alone. If you are facing any serious issues with loneliness, isolation, and similar feelings, please talk to a professional and seek help because it could be an indicator of more serious problems.
Anonymous
April 1st, 2022 6:34pm
I think when you feel alone in your relationship you should take a step back and find out where the disconnect is coming from. You can try to figure out what it is you need want and need for that matter. Once you are able to figure that out, the next step is communication. Consider talking to your partner about how it is you feel. It takes a lot of courage to do this, but it is vital for the two of you to know where the other persons head is at. If nothing changes often times, when you feel alone in a relationship your partner may not be the person you need at that time in your life.
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