Why do I always blame myself for the breakup?

If you have a breakup, it is natural to try to figure out what went wrong. Because you are not talking to the other person, it is easy to overthink your actions and blame it on something that you did.

You blame yourself because you can't seem to find anything else that may have caused your breakup. However, there is absolutely no way that your breakup is in any way your fault unless you know for a fact that you did something wrong (i.e., cheating). Don't be so hard on yourself. Nobody's perfect. Not you, not me, not your ex, not anybody. Don't blame yourself, but you also don't blame them. There's hardly any relationships out there that work out for everyone involved, and there's always someone else out there for you. That, of course, doesn't mean you have to move on right away, but it's still something to think about and consider for the future.

People blame themselves for everything actually, but the hard truth is, nothing is really your fault. Aren't you always doing your best? If someone told you a story that was very similar to yours, wouldn't you have compassion for them and comfort them? Some relationships just have a shelf life, we learn what we need from them and then we wave a fond farewell and excitedly wait for the next person. As hard as it might be to hear, you've done nothing wrong. You're innocent -- so don't be guilty! :-)

Maybe because the value you have for yourself is not enough,which means that you think everything that is going wrong its because of you

I am also the same kind of person. I always take guilt for any misunderstanding or mishap happen in my relation. And I always blame myself for breakup. It is just because I love my partner so much that I cannot believe that they can ever do any mistake. It is my belief about them that makes my relation special. It is that very belief helps me sleep happily with trust about my partner. That belief is good but also have such cons like self blaming. Understanding that not blaming others but self blaming needs a lot of compassion and empathy. Do not feel bad about yourself. Moving away from that self blaming and knowing you are special is important.

Don't blame yourself. It’s a two way thing. Sometimes in a relationship we give our 100% but still it does not works because that person is not the one for us. So just don't make yourself feel bad over anything. Try to move on. Distract yourself.Spend more time with your friends and family. Read books or watch movies. Eat your favorite snacks. Take a good long nap.Do not overthink. Everything is going to be fine.just have some patience.Blaming yourself only make you sad and disappoint so just try to forget about it. Take your broken relationship as a lesson. Don't let your daily life effect by your breakup. Just look at the mirror smile to yourself. Love yourself .Listen to your favorite music.

Things are not as simple as they seem. Breakup is something that involves both the parties and not only one of them. Blaming oneself is not right if one feels that he/she broke up for valid reasons. You must not carry the guilt and look ahead in life for better things.

Goodness, how powerful are you? :-) Seriously, it takes at least two people to be in a relationship, and it takes two to break up, as well. If both of you didn't want the relationship to work, it couldn't do so. And even if both of you DID want the relationship to work, sometimes one person has a different idea about what the relationship is or should/could be than their partner does, or has different values. Even if those values aligned at the beginning of the relationship, people change. So please, don't take all that weight on yourself. You don't deserve it.

You blame yourself because you feel pressured to make the other person happy which means when it no longer works you go over and over the situation beating yourself up and looking for faults in you personality. If the other person is unkind it reflects their personality not yours.

Hey there, I’m so sorry you feel that way. I felt this way too. It was my greatest moment but it was still there. You may think it’s your fault but it’s not. You haven’t done anything wrong. You may blame yourself because you’re scared of what you did wrong but nothing Went wrong. It’s common for people to blame themselves for the break up. It’s not anyone’s fault. Things happen. Don’t give yourself a hard time for something you didn’t do. Try talking it out with the other person to see what happened. It won’t be as bad as you think.

Its easier to blame ourselves then accept the fact that others have issues also and that we can not control them so we turn it on us, we are an easy target to aim at sense we are the ones in our heads.. We can also have someone tell us its our fault and believe them even if It isn't the case at all. We feel weak and we talk negative to ourselves. We think we are not worthy and not loved and nothing to anyone so we take the blame which is not always true of course we can have some blame but not always.

I think it is natural to blame one's self for such things. You were intimately involved in a relationship and it goes bad, we always ask ourselves "what could I have done differently" and if you can think of just one thing, you'll automatically blame yourself. Let's not throw around blame. Instead take that experience from the past relationship, take that "what I would have done differently" and apply it towards your future and future relationships. Another common misconception is to say "all my relationships end badly, I'm the common thread here so it must be me" I remember thinking this way for the longest time until it finally clicked in my head that just because a relationship ended didn't mean it's anyones fault.

Everyone does little bit. When you love someone you cant even imagine he/she can make some mistakes and you start thinking the blame is on you. There's nothing bad about being sorry, but the reasons of breakup are on the both sides (:

Because you feel that guilt of letting go of the other. But you shouldn't blame yourself. It will never be your fault even if you were the one who broke it up. A break up is something composed of fears and insecurities. Therefor, not you. For you are you.

It is very common to consider yourself the one to blame. It's hard to get over breakups, and blaming yourself is certainly one of the side effects of letting each other go. Just know that you did nothing wrong and that there's better people in the world for you.

Breakups often cause guilt. Unless given a reason to believe other wise, you could believe you were the reason.

It's natural to blame yourself, especially if you didn't see it coming or you were the root cause of it. What you need to understand is that there's a huge difference between blaming yourself and taking responsibility for what happened. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don't let past mistakes affect future opportunities

It is easy to self-blame after our breakups and think of what we did wrong or where it all went wrong. However, usually there is blame on both sides, but focusing on the blame does not help us to move on and heal.

Blaming yourself often seems like the easiest thing to do after a break up. It's easy to let yourself only focus on the negative. Taking sometime to let yourself see why you left in the first place is always a good place to start. When you realize that you now have that weight off your shoulders you can really begin to move on, grow, and recover from your previous relationship. I was in a relationship for 5 years and refused to see what everyone else was telling me. I was in a bad place during the relationship and let myself fall into a worse place after the break up by blaming myself. When I finally saw that I was bettering myself for leaving a great weight was lifted off my shoulders and it allowed me to like myself again. Its okay to admit that somethings were your fault, but its not okay to blame everything on yourself.

That's very common in relationships for both sides. I myself kept thinking I was the problem or that I started things when I was with my significant other. Just know, it probably wasn't your fault at all and you will be better from that breakup.

Ending a relationship is hard for everyone involved, even when you are the person ending it. The odds are likely that anyone who is going down a self imposed, endless spiral of post breakup anxiety is pondering over one of these things. The amount of time it's taking to get over it. How he or she should've known better. The guilt of what he or she did to make the relationship end. But, there is no specific time, love makes us blind and we must let go of guilt.

Because we are all insecure. We think we did something to make the person stop liking us and it wrong. We breakup because we aren't in love with that person anymore and don't want to drag the person along.

Things happen, people get into fights, and breakups happen: It's all a part of this thing we call life and the best thing we can do is embrace it. Blaming yourself for a breakup probably comes down to you knowing that your actions could have been part of what lead to the breakup in the first place. Another reason why you might blame yourself for a breakup is because you can't stop looking back on what once was. You can't stop thinking about what you did or did not do while you were in the relationship. You need to realize that nobody is at fault here, including you. Breakups are a part of life and we all go through them at least once in our lives. :)

It might be that you always feel that the other person is better than you and you don't deserve to have them in your life. This is clearly not the case. There is a possibility that you both don't share common things. Blaming yourself is justifying that you deserve to be treated like that and you settle with whatever you've got. Know that if the relationship was meant to be, it would've still lasted. The fact that the other person left you means that they have a 50% role in the break up as well. Its always isn't your fault.

For the most part, people have what we call "locusts of control." This means that we assign blame for things that happen to mainly two areas in our life: the outside and the inside. For the most part, people tend to lean one of the two ways. People within outer locus of control tend to blame things on people or situations outside them. Like, "It's not my fault, because I didn't know that blah blah would happen," whereas people with an inner locus of control tend to be more like, "It's my fault because I should have known better, I should have seen this or that." Both can be good and bad, but ideally, you want to be a bit of both. The side you lean towards is mostly decided by the experiences you've had in life. So, in your case, I'd wager that through most of your life you've tended to blame yourself for the things that have happened in your life. And with breakups, it's especially difficult to break this cycle. To find out why it is that you do this you'll need to do some reflecting on your experiences and question some fundamental beliefs you have about yourself. This can be a lot more difficult than it sounds though. Start with perhaps asking yourself, "Why do I feel this is my fault?" and then have a very close look at the reasons and feelings it brings up, and be very honest with yourself about it :)

I feel like im the one who is using them and i feel like i need them just for my things and i feel i don't love them as i say but it's just hormone for sex, but it's Wat all do right im not sure im not a bad person but i feel im selfish and egoistic,i try my best still it doesn't work, and i also felt the main reason is being frank, people they don't like to be frank and it's the reason i blame me for.nothing more to say tired no energy and im done.

No matter what, blaming yourself for situations keeps you unhappy because you feel like you have no control. When we move past blame, we are able to take responsibility and release the guilt attached to self-blame. If you punish yourself or others for mistakes, then these tips can help. Firstly look at the bigger picture, trust yourself and reframe what you should do. Every situation we experience is part of a bigger plan. When you can look at setbacks and opportunities for growth, life becomes easier and there is less pressure. Look at the blessing in each lesson. Instead of blaming yourself for a situation, look for the silver lining. Ask yourself: what could this situation teach me?

I’m sorry you’re struggling with these feelings. I’ve felt this way in the past too. I’ve learned there are a few reasons we choose to blame ourselves for breakups. One is control. We want to control our hurt or anger and blaming ourselves let’s us feel more in control. Another reason is a deeply seated sense of worthlessness, some people call it shame. If you can sit with your own thoughts for a moment, do either of these, or something else, ring true? Honestly naming what you’re facing is powerful to being conquering it. Why do you think you blame yourself in these situations?

what happens when you lose something you love is that you start searching for reasons and mostly you start by searching for it in you which isn’t a bad thing and you can learn a lot about you and your future choices but if you are not taking care of you and your emotions well it is easy to go from self learning to self-blame, you can also go to breakup training on seven cups which has explained a lot about how to come over a breakup and how to control its resaults on how you feel about you and your future plans!!

I feel like this is very common with many people. In my experience, I blamed myself for a breakup because at that time I was still very vulnerable from the breakup, I was emotionally impacted by everything. I did a lot of self reflection which made me see my own flaws and mistakes that i had been making in that relationship. While this can be helpful, we also have to see the other person’s flaws and mistakes, and realize that it isn’t all our fault. Also, right after a breakup, we can still idolize the other person which might make it difficult to see their mistakes, thus we blame ourselves.