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What to do if a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you?

203 Answers
Last Updated: 01/24/2023 at 3:46am
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
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Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
thoughtfulPomegranate86
September 7th, 2016 4:46am
The girl has the right to know who she's dating, i would make sure she found out that he cheated on her
allnaturalUnicorns70
September 8th, 2016 2:17pm
One thing is to decide if this is the kind of person you want to be associated with. If his qualities are so strong that you choose to be with him, prepare yourself for him doing the same to you with someone else.
Weliveonlyonce
September 25th, 2016 8:30am
I would ask the girl for forgiveness becose even though I have done it without knowing it is still a mistake
miaaM
October 21st, 2017 5:28am
Ask him what he intends to do about cheating and if he plans on telling his girlfriend about cheating on her. If not then make sure that he knows that his girlfriend has the right to know that he has cheated and know that there are consequences for the both of us.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 6:49pm
That all depends on how you feel about it. You should probably talk to the guy, see what is up with him cheating with you.
TogetherForeverAlways
December 22nd, 2017 5:21pm
First, if you were already aware this guy had a girlfriend you might feel bad at yourself. because this is such an unpleasant situation. Then, considering talking to the guy if you have the chance, asking him if he's willing to come clean and confess to her girlfriend he has cheated. I would suggest this first approach before talking to his girlfriend directly.
Imperfect84
January 24th, 2018 4:48am
You have to question this man's loyalty. I mean if you to were to start a relationship for example, the chances of him repeating this cycle of behavior is pretty likely. Definitely be cautious and keep your best interest in mind.
Cpcoleman1WSU
March 1st, 2018 10:30am
That's a very sticky situation. At day's end, you weren't the bad person in this unless you knew he had a girlfriend and enabled him to cheat.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 8:04pm
Leave him. If he cheated on a girl to get you, it could mean he can do it again to get someone else.
Anonymous
March 5th, 2018 6:24pm
I will think he is not happy with his actual relationship and he has to talk about it with his girlfriend... I will not proceed to have something with him if I know he has someone waiting at home. I will put a stop on him if he tries to have sex with me.
AbreeSmiles
March 31st, 2018 12:22am
Confront the boyfriend, and let him know you know, and talk to the other girlfriend and possibly break up with him.
Vivian4
May 11th, 2018 9:55am
This all comes down on your personal boundaries and moral compass. If you want to be involved or if you want to stay away from this triangle. If he did that once but he want to be with his GF, its more about him loosing it because of some issues in relation,but he doesn't want to leave her. If he coming back to you over and over again then you can decide if YOU want to play the second violin. But do not get involved with her. Stay in your own life position. Also you can say NO to him. Take Care.
Beautifuldreamer98
May 29th, 2018 7:54am
Well you should know that it is wrong to begin with but stop the relationship the moment you know about it. It isnt nice to break a relationship and you wouldnt want someone to break yours
Bran21
June 10th, 2018 2:08am
You got to walk away mentally and physically , it’s not okay for you to get hurt and constantly get hurt because you were afraid to walk away
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2018 6:30pm
Dump him, and tell him that is not a way to treat women. Or anyone. People should be treated with respect and kindness. And if you are going to chest maybe you shouldn't date.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2018 10:34am
Put your self in that girls shoes and know that a cheater will always be a cheater and if he did that with his girlfriend then what to expect from him
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2018 6:39pm
I would not continue to see the boyfriend. In addition, If you knew he girlfriend you would tell her because she is in a relationship with someone who is cheating. Therefore, you can’t keep it to yourself.
NickE
July 21st, 2018 8:20am
Gather many different opinions from people you are close to. If that is not available, take a step to talk to the guy's girlfriend and bring it to her awareness. After this, do not contact the guy in any way, shape, or form.if appropriate, block contact from both people.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2018 9:13pm
Talk to both him and possibly his girlfriend if needed. Remember, you know your friends and significant others best.
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 10:09am
I don't see much that you can do on your part. He will have to work that situation out on his own. If he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you don't you at the very least wonder if he'd do the same to you. Thats just not an ideal way to start a relationship, but I have seen some weird situation work out.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2018 11:48pm
You should let him know it's not ok and tell the girlfriend if you feel you won't be in danger. It is partly your fault but make sure you are completely safe when you do these things.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2018 12:13pm
This is not something to be forgiven! Try to find the details, listen his part. If it does not sound acceptable, move on! If he can do this with his girlfriend today, he'll do the same to you tomorrow.
MarianaBessa
September 6th, 2018 9:04am
Unfortunately this has happened to me in the past and it surely wasn't a good experience. What I tried to do was convince him to tell her the truth, which he did, and I stayed away for a while to let them work through their relationship together. I knew she would have negative feelings towards me and it would be harder if I were around. So I think you should always stick to the truth but let the guy be the one to tell it. Sometimes it ruins relationships but lying destroys them in an uglier way, more intense and with no chance of rebuilding it.
thoughtfulArrow88
September 26th, 2018 9:11am
If a guy decides to cheat on his girlfriend with you, there's just one thing you should do: LEAVE. A guy who thinks its okay to cheat on their partner will never be the guy worthy of your love. The next thing you know, he will cheat on you with someone else and so on. Even if the guy claims that you're his true love, the least you can expect is the guy to have some respect for his girlfriend where he can just break up before dating you. It is really the bare minimum he can do. However, if he refuses to breakup, then you should leave. You deserve much more than being somebody's side chick.
Anonymous
October 21st, 2018 9:38am
I would call and ask him why he cheated on his girlfriend with you, then I would call his girlfriend and explain to her what happened and apologize!! if she wants all the details I will give her all the details and any evidence I may have. The best thing you can do is stay away from the guy because he's already a cheater and possibly a liar. Cheating is not okay it's a very hurtful thing to do to somebody. Well that's what I would do in a situation like this there's not much you can do but confront him if you didn't know he had a girlfriend until later and I would definitely go speak to his girlfriend either on the phone or by letter or email
Brittneym101
November 24th, 2018 4:27am
Well, there isn't much you can do, but move forward and learn from that mistake. Ask yourself why this happen and how did I get here. Since you are asking this question you're likely feeling guilty about it. Don't read to much into it. If you are wanting to be with him it is a high chance that he will do the same to you. Keep that in mind. Everyone's situation is different, but if you know he has a girlfriend then you are just as wrong as he is and he needs to be single if he can't be faithful for sure. It just depends on your particular situation though.
BestMoon1
December 21st, 2018 9:10pm
Do the right thing! Be respectful of her and tell her. It'll hurt all those involved but no one deserves to be hurt in that way. If you do the right thing it'll show your strength and dignity. Save her the pain of this, of you tell her yourself it'll save her from hearing it from someone else. It'll cause pain but it'll be the right thing. He clearly doesn't care for his girlfriend and probably doesn't care for you if he can just go and cheat. Also if he promises to be with you while cheating on someone else, he'll do it to you too.
Anonymous
January 12th, 2019 9:43pm
Well to start all you should have tried to stop it. But if it happened anyway then the best thing to do is to tell his girlfriend about it. And that's supposed to hurt but life lessons aren't always good. The important part is that it will make this relationship more real. And then it's up for the couple to decide it. And if it ruins the relationship well a good relationship is not supposed to have cheating in it or hidden things. So whatever happens just make sure she knows the truth. And try to still do it nicely enough to not make her very sad. Or at least try to.
Michael32
January 24th, 2019 5:44pm
It is not a healthy situation to be in. If you are just looking for a hookup there are plenty of single guys. If you have a real attraction to this individual then you need to come to terms with what the relationship would look like. It is possible that because the guy cheated on his girlfriend to be with you that he would not be above cheating on you to be with someone else. You will also have to deal with the possible guilt of having broken up a relationship. It is generally not a good idea to become romantically involved with someone in a relationship.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2019 2:28am
Just remember, as they say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater". If he cheated on his girlfriend with you, he would likely cheat on you with someone else, so I would definitely avoid a relationship with him. If you don't want to be a part of him cheating, then distance yourself from him. You might even consider talking to his girlfriend about the situation if you know her because she should be aware that she is in a relationship with a guy who doesn't really love her like he says he does. She might be upset with you, but it would save her in the long run.