What to do if a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you?

Depends how close you are with the girl, if you are best friends its best you tell them straight and be honest, if you dont know the girl drop her a message as its very likely the girl wants to know, although a way to think about it is to think if you were the girl getting cheated on would you want the girl that he got with messaging you telling you he got with your man, but its best to tell them no matter what, so i suggest if you decide to tell them be polite and dont come across as rude.

I’m so glad I found this page. 2 years ago, an old high school acquaintance started pursuing me after we met up for lunch while I was on vacation in New York. We hadn’t seen each other since high school. I had had a Facebook crush on him for years but I figured we were just getting together as friends because I thought he might have a girlfriend. This was his second attempt to meet up with me while I was in NYC and I agreed to meet for lunch. He immediately greeted me with a kiss on the lips, and dropped all kinds of hints (as if the kiss wasn’t enough) that he was interested. He expressed his unhappiness in his current relationship when I inquired about it and said, “we’re not getting married” with a laugh when I asked him if they were living together. He started texting more after I got back to my own state after my vacation and eventually told me he was interested in me and that he was ending his current relationship. He told me to just give him some time. This was all him. I wasn’t pursuing him or trying to make contact. He basically told me I was everything he wanted. He is a good looking Ivy League educated man who seems to be a great father to his teenage daughter. I always had him on a pedestal and never thought of him as a shady player type. I was smitten and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. In the meantime, I confided in another old high school friend (female) about what was going on. She is also friends with this guy on Facebook. Confiding in her seemed to be a huge mistake. She had me all worked up and anxious about everything and wanted to know every detail of what was going on. She had me questioning everything he said and did and it started coming out with him in our interactions. He later ended things because he said I was too pushy. I blame my girlfriend for seeming to play head games with me. I wonder if she was jealous. He and I don’t talk anymore and I can’t seem to get over what happened. I had never fallen so hard for anyone in my life and I was 50 when this happened. He is still living with the same woman. He never posts anything about her on Facebook. Never mentions her or posts pictures, but I have seen pictures she has tagged him in that he won’t allow on his page so I know they are still together. I also found out early on that he has Aspergers Syndrome and I was making all kinds of exceptions for him because of it. He seems highly functional but I did see signs of the Aspergers. I still haven’t been able to come to grips with what happened, and part of me thinks I should say something to the girlfriend. He practically had our wedding planned, and told me he had told his mother about me. I also met his daughter and sister when he was visiting his family in my home state. Any kind and helpful advice would be appreciated.

Well do you want to even be with a guy like that? sometimes we have to stop and ask ourselves. Things happen yes they do, but what if that was you on the other hand I always say. So you could end it and move on to someone who is single so that in the long run Karma doesn't find you and repay you in the same manner. Besides it's not safe to be with a person who hides such secrets. Being with more than one person should be by choice. And if he's sleeping with you and not telling the other party. What if there is an STD spread among the three or maybe even more of you, that would be even more devastating. So do the right thing and think about if that was you.

I am a heterosexual man so I am flipping this around a bit. I would tell that other guy about his girlfriend, explain to him what happened, after all his relationship is needing some maintenance. I wouldn't fell guilt for something that I was not the one to blame... Unless the situation being that I am in love with his girlfriend, then I would try my best to have her for myself after all she was already unhappy and searching for me either, this whole situation is just too complex with many many variables to put on the table I would like a more specific question on that topic.

It all depends on how you feel about the guy, I reckon. The whole problem is, if he is cheating on his girlfriend, why wouldn’t he cheat with you? You may want to come clean to her, or may want him to come clean to his girlfriend. An ultimatum is never pleasant, but being a second choice is not so great either. Try to define the relationship you three are supposed to have, and don’t let him decide everything. Don’t get alienated because you don’t want him to be upset, you should all be happy, whatever the cost may be

If a guy cheats on his girlfriend with me (but I didn't know he had a girlfriend in the first place), the first thing I would do is confront the guy and let him know how wrong it is. I would also let him know how I feel about the situation and then cut contact/communication/interaction with the guy. In this situation, we would feel obliged to come clean and tell the girlfriend about what had happened but I believe that it is the guy's job or responsibility to confess to his own girlfriend. After this happens, if you feel like you should, you can then contact the girlfriend and let her know whatever your true intentions were.

Take some time to process how you feel about this tricky situation. Consider if you knew he had a girlfriend before becoming involved with him and ask yourself why you may have felt attracted to someone already in a relationship. If you didn't know beforehand then try to extend compassion towards yourself. You entered this relationship without all of the facts so this isn't your fault. Express your disapproval to the guy and explain how this has made you feel. If possible, create some space between yourself and him so that you can focus on your own healing and progress.

You may have not known he had a girlfriend. I would explain to the girl what had happened exactly, and explain how you didn’t know he was currently dating someone. It isn’t your fault at all, it’s the guys! But if you did know, you must acknowledge that you’re both in the wrong. Maybe explain to the girlfriend that it’s not good to stay with the guy as he may continue to cheat, and for you to also stay out of it relationships as you may have a tendency to cheat too, and that’s not good is it? :)

I would tell her what happened and apologize to her. She should know the truth so she can make an informed decision about her relationship. If he's cheating, he is probably being dishonest in other ways, and telling her might be the wake up call she needs to evaluate her relationship. I would also tell the guy that his behavior is unacceptable to both me and his girlfriend because we both deserve to be a priority in our own relationships. I would then stop talking to him or contacting him and if he bothered me again, I would ignore it.

I have had a guy cheat on his girlfriend with me before. What I have done is reach out to the girlfriend personally and let her know what was going on. I felt terrible about the situation, but I kept in mind that it was not my fault that he didn’t inform me of his girlfriend. I also kept in mind that I am not responsible for another persons loyalty in their relationship. Only they can be. It’s totally messed up that somebody else used you to be unloyal, but it is not a reflection on who you are as a person.

First of all remove yourself from this guy, he is just there to have fun with every girl. Secondly, go and tell his girlfriend whatever he had been doing behind her back, after that leave this guy and his girl alone to do whatever they want to do. You just stop every contact with this guy. Life's is too short to waste on such guys. They are no loyal and can't stay loyal with any women. You do what's right by telling his girlfriend so that she gets alerted and it could stop her from wasting many more years of her life after this guy.

This will probably sound odd but first questions I would ask myself are 1) Why? 2) Did I know about the girlfriend? 3) If I did, did I know what the circumstances of their relationship was? After asking those questions and answering them, next questions would be 1) How do I feel about being the one he cheated with? 2) What does he think about me? 3) Could I live knowing this? If I could answer these honestly then I would talk with the guy, ask him about his relationship and why do what we had done. If he can’t answer honestly or openly, I would then decide to end whatever relationship we have and talk with the girlfriend. If he would cheat on her with me, he could cheat again with others. I know the girlfriend would be hurt and angry (so will he) but in the end, conscious will be clear and I may save her from getting hurt by him one way or another if she chooses to leave.

Not in any judgment, but if you didn’t know that he had a girlfriend when he was with you, then according to me, you should find out her details and warn her about it and tell her to confront him (girl code). It’s not only about your own guilty conscience but also about how no one deserves to be with a cheater. And if you knew that the guy was in a relationship when you were with him, then as much as it is his fault, even if it is his fault more, you’re still to blame. So what to do in my opinion is to go and apologize to his girlfriend and once again tell her that she should not be with him. Sometimes mistakes happen but according to the experience you had you can only be the best judge of character with how the guy behaved with you.

If it was a mistake, then try and not get involved it this again. However, if you truly believe you love this new guy, then speak about it to him. Understand how he is feeling, whether he's not just using you but maybe wants to start something serious with you. If that is the case, then tell him that you won't go any further until he breaks up with his girlfriend. The worst thing to do to someone is not to be honest with them. When that is done and he's been truthful to her and has told her everything than maybe think about going into something serious if that's what you desire.

if i knew i wouldn’t do it. if i didn’t i would apologise to the girl many times and delete the contact of the guy from my phone no matter how much i like him. it’s none of my business especially when he is with another girl. i would cut off all contact with him and block him on all social media, because that’s what a normal human person would do. if you were being cheated on, you wouldn’t want the person to keep getting with your guy. recap.. if you know, don’t do it with him or her.

Personally, if I discovered a guy was cheating on his girlfriend with me, I'd first ask him to do his best to make amends with her, before ending things. I'd also reach out to his girlfriend to apologise and clear up any confusion, and let her decide how far she'd want to go meeting up- whether becoming friends is something she'd want to do or if a simple text conversation would be enough. I'd also just try to be more sure in the future about the people I choose to date and what their relationship status is before I get into a relationship with them.

It can be difficult to know what to do if a person cheats on their partner with you, regardless of whether you knew they were partnered at the time or not. If you feel what happened was unethical, negatively changes how you feel about yourself, or negatively changes how you perceive the person, it's perfectly reasonable to cut ties with them and let them know you have no interest in continuing to see them. Cheating on a partner may be a sign that they do not know how to communicate their needs, honor another person's boundaries, be honest and open, or have a healthy relationship. They might need time to work on themselves, and you're not required to help them with that, especially if you're worried they could end up being similarly dishonest with you. There are mental health professionals and relationship specialists who can help them with that in a professional and productive manner.

I've been in a similar position - guy cheated on his wife with me and I didn't know he was even married (eventually I found out). The key takeaway is that if he can cheat on her, he can cheat on you too. If you did not know he was in a relationship, you weren't in any wrong then but now that you are aware, you have a role to play in all this. Nothing justifies cheating; his girlfriend needs to know what's going on. She's owed at least that. If you got with him knowing that he was in a relationship, it's time to evaluate things going on in your life that you're settling for less than what you deserve.

That would depend of if you knew that they were doing it. If you didn't know that they were cheating, but found out, it is best to cut it off immediately. Then you need to decide if you want to go to her with the truth, or hide it and risk her finding out another way (this way will most likely be worse). If you did know that he was cheating, however, you are in a harder spot to get out of. you have to decide if you really want to be that kind of person. And if you still want to do it you should think about this. How would you feel if you were in the girlfriends position?

This may be a stress-inducing experience for you, so be sure to evaluate and process your emotions and feelings arising from this event. Feeling frustrated, sad, guilty, and/or hurt is normal in this situation, so giving yourself a moment may be helpful. Additionally, if cheating makes you uncomfortable, then perhaps you should consider and reflect on this relationship. Cheating can be an invasion of trust, so evaluate if you need to take a step away from this relationship. Communicating one-on-one with the said individual is a potential first step to pursue before making any final decisions regarding your relationship.

Honestly, there isn't anything you can do for the guy who's cheating. It's between him and his girlfriend. What you can do is take care of yourself. You may want to ask yourself why you were with him, especially if you knew at the time that he was cheating on his girlfriend with you. Ask yourself if you want to be with this type of guy and why. I'm not saying you did anything wrong here. All I'm saying is you need to look out for yourself because that's all you can do. In case, you didn't know about it, it isn't your fault and the responsibility lies on him. You can't worry about him or his girlfriend. Getting involved there may result in bigger issues in your personal life.

Get powerful emotional affair healing books to read, join a support group for infidelity and learn from other users experiences, get some support from family or friends you can trust. Try to work on your own self love and self worth and try to find ways to not be codependent on him. If you already knew he had a girlfriend it might make you feel shame or guilt, try to work through those emotions by journaling and try to understand your worth, the situation was about them, not you. Social Media has made having affairs alot easier, so perhaps try to implement healthier boundaries.

You have to consider some facts such as are you aware that he has a girlfriend? If no, I feel sorry for the both of you. You and his gf are both victims. Sometimes people are very good when it comes to hiding their personal lives in order to achieve whatever they want. However, if you’re aware you should know that cheating or involving yourself in between relationship wont do you any good. Save yourself from the mess, save yourself from the pain and trouble. Know your worth, no one deserves to be a second option. Do the right thing, ignore him and message his girlfriend that his man is trying to cheat. Let us support each other as women.