Is it still worth trying if he/she broke up with me several times?
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Last Updated: 06/15/2022 at 2:32pm
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I would say no .. If you've proceeded to break up this many times that's a likely chance that the relationship would end up very toxic if you were to try again especially if your experiencing a lot of arguing which wouldn't surprise me if you were.. The best thing to do is stay friends if possibly , take a break . Maybe see other people and try again in a year or two of you feel it's possible it may be hard but typically it's the best way around it , I hope this answers your question and you make a sensible and safe decision , good luck !
Know that it's normal to feel anxiety, frustration, sadness, and every emotion in between after a breakup. However, the time following a breakup can give us a great opportunity to look inward. This is a time to take a step back and reflect (or even make a list) of the pros and cons in your relationship and ask yourself some difficult questions like "Why do I want to get back together with my ex?" Or "How can I work on my self-love?". After really reflecting and taking some time for yourself you may find a different perspective on why you might want to or not want to get back together.
After all, this choice is very personal and entirely up to you and your partner. For now, allow yourself to feel some of those difficult emotions and make sure to practice self-care. Take care!
Anonymous
April 24th, 2020 6:28am
I don't think it would be bit you are in charge of your life decisions. You know lots and lots more about the situation than me. You can make your own decision. Personally, I don't think it would be worth going back to that same person who broke your heart continuous times. I feel as if it would be more ache and pain. Besides there are plenty of fish in the sea, why keep going back to the same clown fish when you could go to a sea star. Someone who is bright and joyful would be the best person for you.
Anonymous
May 6th, 2020 4:41pm
It's important here to understand exactly why they broke up with you. This will be a difficult but necessary conversation to have with your ex; if you're not clear about what went wrong, then nothing will change and the underlying reasons for the multiple breakups will remain in place, unresolved. To draw an analogy: no one would attempt to take a car that has repeatedly broken down back in the road without fixing it first. If your ex is clear that they cannot envisage anything changing, however, then trying to get back with them would not be something to pursue.
Anonymous
May 16th, 2020 5:16am
If you love each other it'll be worth it. Arguments happen but it'll make your relationship stronger once it passed. You'll realize that petty fights are just part of your relationship. It will pass and when you pull through then that would be great. I have been in a similar situation on and off relationship and after five years we are still in a relationship I cannot bear to part with him anymore because I realized that we love each other and we don't want to be defeated by those small arguments. I hope that I have helped you with this
Nobody can tell You whether it is worth it for you. Only you know that. But in my experience if you keep breaking up there's something wrong. Take a look at yourself take a look at what reason you would have to get back together with this person Make a pros and cons list and be honest about it because there's nothing worse than being in a relationship that shouldn't be one. You need to make sure that you're caring about yourself and you need to make sure that the person that you're interested in actually cares about you too.
It’s definitely not worth it. The relation might be too toxic which is causing fights and breakups. It’s good to move on from the toxicity and live a healthy life. It takes time to get over but be proud of yourself. I’m sure you’re feeling really sad at the moment but I swear you’ll find someone better who won’t keep breaking up why you over small things. He’ll or she’ll know how to care about you and will protect you at all costs. Until then keep your self happy and healthy. Keep yourself engage in activities you love and admire.
Honestly, I understand wanting to hold on to the good memories of the past and not being able to understand or get over a relationship, but it’s all about what’s best for you. Was this relationship good for your mental and physical health? Was this relationship worth your time? Were you treated as though you deserve the world, because you do? Also, take into consideration what the other person wants, because they might not want to get back into the relationship and if they don’t that’s okay! There are plenty of people who would love you for who you are, sometimes we have to understand our limits and at what point do the cons outweigh the pros.
Love is a difficult feeling, when we truly love someone we can’t manage to see the flaws in our relationship burn if this person caused you to go through deep sadness then it becomes toxic, you are the one that know what isn’t best for you but try to make decisions that you know will make you happy in the future and help you progress.
Letting go of a loved one is really hard and takes a lot of courage but it sometimes is necessary in order to find our own peace and happiness, if we haven’t found happiness with a certain person maybe our soulmate is still out there looking for us.
Take a long look at why you want to continue on with this person. What are the pros and cons of trying to work our a broken relationship - X 3 - ? What is the worse case scenario if you do not get back together? What is the best case scenario if you do not get back together? What is really important is your health. Your heart, mind, and soul health. You must take care of yourself first. Is this person going to hurt you again? How does that make you feel about your self? Do you trust yourself? Respect yourself? Accept yourself? Love yourself. You must learn to love yourself first. The answer is you are worth the best of everything.
If you really care about this person, it might be, but please don’t forget that you are also worthy of love and care. If you care for them more than they care for you, it’s sometimes worth it to spend sometime apart, and sometimes you will find someone else who cares about you even more and that you care for, too. Relationships aren’t one sided, both partners should be happy with the relationship. There may come a time where someone cares for you more than you care for them, so try to think about how you might feel if they kept trying to get back with you when you broke who with them several times already. In my experience, I’ve found myself in much happier relationships when walking away from one like this. It’s hard, but there’s so many people on 7 cups here to support you during this. Don’t forget that you are worthy of someone who cares for and loves you as much as you love them.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2020 3:07pm
Like most relationship issues, this depends largely on the people involved. It's important to reflect on two things: do you feel respected, and do you still have a complete sense of trust? Answering these questions may help. After going through multiple breakups, it can be difficult to maintain a feeling of security and support, and this is crucial in a healthy relationship. If you feel that either of these has been lost, then it probably isn't worth pursuing. There's no easy answer, but have the courage to believe that whatever decision you make will work out. In the end, it's important to do what's right for you.
First question is how do you feel about it and what you need from yourself and this person in this moment. Breakups are always difficult experience and changes our trust towards this person. But not knowing the situation I can only guess. It depends on many different things. Why does this person breaks up? Why she or he comes back? How do you feel about it? What makes you want to be in the relationship with this person? I cannot give you any answer but we can try to figure out, how this situation works. There are no rules set.
When considering if it is worth trying, it is a good idea to ask yourself, why you want to be in a relationship with them. If they broke up with you many times, it is likely they might do it again. If you think that the relationship is that valuable to you, then I think you should pursue it, but not without considering this: why do they keep breaking up with you? Is it because they are trying to manipulate you? Is it because they had another love interest which they pursued but came back to you? Or maybe, is it possible they wanted more out of the relationship than was there for them, but they still loved you and that's why they got back together with you?
It is important for you to know exactly why the relationship ended so many times, so you can inform yourself as to why they broke up with you. It might be something you or they can change - it might not!
It is probably a good thing to consider whether or not both parties have changed enough so that the relationship might have a better chance at success.
Anonymous
September 9th, 2020 6:02am
I don't think it's still worth it since it has a reason that they broke up several times. I understand that it can be challenging to get away from a person you have deep feelings for but if they already broke up several times this is a clear sign for that they don't value you as much as you probably value them. Trying it again could end with another breakup again, which is quite likely to happen since you already broke up several times before. But by trying it all over again you invest energy into that person and into that relationship, which could have been better invested.
Anonymous
September 19th, 2020 11:55pm
relationships are always worth trying, especially if it’s with someone you care deeply for. However, it’s important to consider the overall well-being of both parties in the relationship. It’s always best to perhaps consider why break ups are frequent; is the communication faulty? Perhaps there are personal matters that your partner is going through that they don’t dislike? Sometimes it’s not a matter of who is worse than others but rather the compatibility between partners. It’s worth holding onto things you cherish but I hope you consider your wellbeing and what you go through yourself as you embark this on and off journey with your relationship. It’s important to remember to put yourself first, above anything else.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2020 7:47pm
Only if that person has abandonment issues and you know, deep inside, they really love you but are too scared to get hurt or be abandoned. Which at times, is the scariest thing for someone that's used to people leaving them. Yes, I know it's kinda sad. BUT sometimes is really worth trying out, showing them you're staying beside them, they might change their mind.
But if you know the person you're fighting for just breaks up with you 'cause they wanna be with someone else and then goes back to you, it is not worth it. It really depends.
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell whether or not trying is still worth it, especially if you've been broken up with several times. It's important to take your mental health into consideration when you think about this. Would you be happy with this person again? Do you get anxious when you get back with them again? Constantly trying with someone who has a history of hurting you or leaving you can put a lot of strain on you mentally. It's important to make sure that you are putting your feelings into consideration, and doing what you think would benefit yourself as well
Personally, I would have to say no. In my mind, I am the type to say it didn't work the first few times and probably won't work the next time. But in the end its all up to you. Its your love life and if you are happy than you are happy. Although I would Personally be hesitant, only because in my mind their is a reason why it didn't work out in the past and may not work in the future. Not to say that it won't work, just that I would say maby try to find someone else.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2021 2:03am
It is always hard to know what the right answer is in this situation. You are in control of this situation and can decide what you would like to happen. Take a few minutes to reflect on what has happened in this past. Were you happy? Do you feel it's worth another chance? Remember, your happiness is the most important thing. A relationship is a two way streak and should not be one-sided. If you believe it'll work then go for it! If you believe the other person has not changed, do what you believe is best for you! You know your story better than anyone and will make a good choice. Always know that you have someone cheering you on for continued happiness! :)
Short answer, no. Generally on-and-off-again relationships have weaknesses that don't lend themselves to longevity. Think of it this way: you and your sometimes partner have a history where the relationship ceases when things get difficult, only to recover when the loneliness sets in. These aren't healthy relationships because they create a sense of dependency and a consistent air of anxiety, because you don't know what's going to be the next time that it goes over the edge. Instead, if a relationship isn't going to function well enough to work in the long run, there's no point in investing untold amounts of time and energy (and heart!) into it. A good analogy is renting a house instead of buying one - you're putting in all the effort, but you won't see the results later on, because it's all about this moment and nothing ahead. You'll be healthier by moving on, focusing on personal growth, and allowing yourself to meet someone organically by living your life.
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2021 10:29pm
It depends on the reasons why he breaks up with you. Is it something you can change, is it a behavior you're having on a regular basis with him? Are you willing to work on that? Or is it just his personality, is he unwilling to work something out and keeps hoping that with the breakups you will regret it and accept unchanged behavior when he comes back?
Speaking in general I think usually is not worth it. I had an experience like that and the cycle continued over and over. That is somehow addictive at a certain point and not healthy.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2021 1:05pm
I would say not. This person is only coming back because they probably know they can just mess with your feelings. If I were you, I wouldn’t come back. I would find someone new, and see how the other person reacts. If they get jealous, maybe re-consider. See how you feel about your current significant other and your ex. Then maybe choose? Sorry if that’s not helpful. If they get jealous, that proves that they truly do care about you. If they don’t, it shows that they never truly did care, or they don’t care and much as they did before.
It’s not worth going back to the same person over and over again because of the fact that there is a reason every time that they didn’t want to be with you. A lot of the time, it seems like a good idea to give it a second chance, but there are many things that cause you or the other person to doubt their actions and possibly making the same mistake again. Fights are normal and healthy, but normal breakups are not and they can easily turn into something toxic if it is something that is not handled. Breakups should not be something that happen regularly.
No. That sounds like a pattern. I thought I had true love many years ago. The first 6 months were great and then the fighting started. We needed each other for a dependency on something the other lacked. Really unhealthy relationship. We loved each other but when we fought. We fought. That 6 month relationship stretched on and off to 6 years. I recently saw him again and it was the same fights. Nothing had changed. It's hard to move one without fear of it happening again. But I'm so glad I got out of there. It's not worth the heartbreak and trauma to your mind and body.
In simple words, it's not. But it largely depends on the other person too and how much you are willing to do for the relationship? How far can you go? Do you even have the strength to deal if something like that happens again? Are you sure you have gotten over the fact that they broke up previously? Are you still harboring any resentment? Do you believe that you can be happy or you are just betting or trying to get back or make someone realize your importance or their behaviour? Most of the times the answers are very simple. You just need to accept it and let go and love yourself enough to give yourself a chance at real happiness and a healthy relationship.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2021 2:50am
I believe you should keep moving forward in your life regardless of whom is around you. Heart break can be hurtful and even weakening at times. But remember, roses are beautiful but they all have thorns. You don’t ever have to give your heart to someone who will continue to break it. The could possibly bot be the right match for you but that doesn’t mean y’all can’t work to be friends or maybe see a future together down the road one day. We have to get our heart broken to see the darker sides of the truth to have a better future with someone else.
Anonymous
June 19th, 2021 8:16pm
It honestly depends on how you feel. I am unable to speak for you, and I can not feel what you are feeling, therefore it is ultimately your decision. But, if it is hurting you in the process then it is not worth putting in effort to try and fix it. If they are not showing you the same love and compassion that you are giving them, then it may not be worth your time. It may end up hurting you more in the end, only to get the same results you would have gotten if you had just left it.
My personal belief is that if love is meant to be, then it will find a way. This has to do with another one of my beliefs, which is that everything should always be equal in a relationship. In other words, each partner needs to be putting out an equal amount of effort and energy in order to make things work. If one partner keeps breaking things off, this might imply that they are not on the same level with their feelings as the other partner. I would also be curious as to the reasons why things didn't work out each time. If we are talking about things like dishonesty, cheating, etc., then that greatly diminishes the chance of things working in the future.
Anonymous
October 6th, 2021 8:11pm
Personally I do not believe so. I have been in this situation, being stuck in a relationship for over a year that was on and off constantly. It too a huge toll on my mental health. Constantly worrying about my partner and whether or not we would be breaking up was a huge stress that was not necessary. It was a stress that should not have been placed on me. Every relationship is different for sure, and I do not know yours but if breaking up and getting back together repeatedly is not a healthy relationship, nor is it healthy for you or your mental health.
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