Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
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Tania
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Evelyn Coker, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I am down to earth and enjoy working with all clients. I have a special passion to support teen girls and women. My work is nonjudgmental and provides a safe space to grow.
Top Rated Answers
The best thing to do here is to surround yourself with friends or things which make you happy. Laughing is a good way to help, but you also need to come to the realisation that you should either make a move or understand that what's not meant to be, is not meant to be.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2018 10:14pm
Realise that it may be impossible for you and then to be together, and that it’s simply just a waste of time. One way I did it was that in my head I would think he was bad, and I know that’s horrible, but eventually I got over him and I found someone else x
The sting of what could have been, but never was can be very painful, especially in the case of unrequited love. It is important to own your feelings, they are real and legitimate. Talking to someone who will listen, and be compassionate can definitely help. Time is the ultimate cute. Try to keep your heart open, you never know your paths may cross again someday or you may meet someone who sweeps you off your feet next week that makes you happy that you were free to be with them. So let yourself grieve for the relationship that never was, but don't let it leave you so jaded you miss out on something truly amazing.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2018 12:38pm
I know it must be hard to get over someone, especially a person whom you never dated. Because the cases might have been that we were on the verge of falling in love with them or were already in love but were not brave enough to make an effort towards it. They say, "Time heals gradually" and it indeed does. I know its a typical answer but having our concentration on those things make it worse. Rather try to divert your focus for the time being onto things that you want to prioritise and love doing. You can read your favourite books or go on a holiday or even take a short stroll to keep your mind of that person. Another way, i know this one is a bit brutal, but listing down that person's faults and things you hated about them and reading them aloud to you. It makes you detest them and speeds up the process of getting over them. Just remember one thing, if they never were your person of affection, so nor do they deserve a fragment of your attention. Talking about these feelings can help you as well.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 12:38am
give it time- the feelings will go away sooner or later. attempt to find someone to replace those feelings, if anything. it is possible to do this. in 10 years time, even much less than that, this person will be the last thing on your mind
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 12:39am
There are many more people out there. It's not the end of the world. Just forget about the person and move on.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 11:21am
Block them out of your mind and only think of their negative qualities. Do not dwell on what could have been or things you could or said or done differently.Everything happens for a reason and if its meant to be, it will be.
It can be really difficult to detach yourself from feelings for someone that you were never really dating. Personally, I found that being around my friends and receiving reciprocated love helped me to realize what I deserved. It's important to make sure that you aren't giving more than you get back, especially when it comes to love.
This can be tough, but definitely doable! In the past, I have simply removed anything reminding me of that person and tell myself that he was toxic.
To get over someone you've never dated, try to distance yourself from them. Try and stay away from things that remind you of this person, or friends who talk to this person or hang around this person. Try and keep your mind off of them, and focus on more important things in your life, such as hobbies. It's a much more productive way to go about things! :)
The best way to get over someone you haven't dated is by meeting new people and talking about your feelings to a trusted friend
You don't pursue them any longer, you let them know how you feel about them. And then you occupy yourself with other things until you come to the realization that, hm, I don't think about them anymore as much.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2018 1:20pm
You distract yourself, focus more on yourself. You can take this time to improve yourself to be the best version of who you are
dont think about them, dont look at their recent activity, try to remove any photos you have together, talk to new people, listen to music that hypes you up, play sport, try something new, just do as much as you can to keep them off your mind, there will be days where its easy and days where it'll feel like you just need them in your life but you just have to try as hard as you can.
People might not get this and laugh at you for someone you love who you never dated. But in reality It's just pure love. But at same time it easier to move on as soon as you realize that it is unrequited love.
Personally, I try to ignore those feelings. Whether it's by burying myself in work or homework or a hobby, it keeps my brain focused. Other ways are by doing something fun, something that makes you happy and something that's for yourself. Eventually, after time of course, it'll be easier to forget about them. If you do follow them on social media or see them in person alot though, I would recommend distancing yourself from them or blocking them in social media.
Most of the time it is easy by just watching the way the treat other people, because some times that can be bad. Also just think of someone else they would be better with and if you care about them then think about how much that person would be able to help them.
lose all contact with them, realize how it was just some crush especially since you never dated them before
It just takes time. You have to realize that your amazing and anyone would be lucky to call you their gf/bf/partner/SO. Just because that person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, there are SO many people that will. I’d say to spend time doing things you love, things that inspire you. It’ll take your mind off them. Spend time with your true friends and laugh with them. It just takes time.
You have to come to terms that this person was never yours to begin with. Then you need to be more open minded about finding a distraction like taking up a hobby or going on a blind date or just have a night out with friends and someday you'll wake up and you won't wish they had been yours and then you'll have succeeded.
On an emotional level our brain makes no difference between "in real life" and "online". This happens because when our feelings are real, our reactions are physical (and real). The way to get over someone you never dated, both in real life and online, is to make yourself stronger. Reinforce your self image, generate ideas, dare to sparkle. From time to time ask yourself what you liked much about that person and try to absorb that feature if it's healthy and makes you feel worthy. Live the present, meaning you have to be present and enjoy your now, without trying to hold on the past.
This is a hard one for me to answer because it hits close to home. I ask myself this at least a billion and twelve times a week and yet I've never come up with a great answer... So now I'll try and face the music and give a good answer. You'd think it'd be easier getting over someone who's never actually been yours, false. If you've been through this you know, its a million times harder. The transition between calling someone your own to not calling them at all can be quick and easy. The transition between calling someone yours in your heart to realizing they don't think the same thing is the hardest thing ive ever done. For me I can't give a honest answer because ive yet to figure it out. But I've learned a lot in the three years its taken me just to come to the conclusion that he wasn't ever really MINE to begin with. One thing ive learned is they aren't feeling the same thing as you, because in their heads nothings changing. It's just going back to the old friendship things. But inside our heads its like a million moons just crashed into our oceans and Mercury is always in retrograde. It sucks. But that makes it easier to move on, thinking the emotions are one sided. Even though it hurts like heck. Another thing ive learned is, if they wanted you to be theirs in a dating sense, they would've already made that move. If they haven't, as much as it may pain us to think of it this way, they obviously don't think of us that way. And thats fine! It can be tough but with time I think our wounds begin to heal and our emotions eventually subside. And thats all I have for this question, its not much but I hope it helps:)
The best way to get over someone you have never dated is to simply just distract yourself. Find a hobby, find and explore new interests and focus on more important things such as school. Patience is key. It will surely take a long time but it is worth it. Distracting yourself and doing other things is a great way to spend your time than worrying and thinking about that someone a lot. Additionally, if you haven't already, go and talk to them and find and look for a closure from that someone. It will be really relieving and you will feel free after clarifying everything with that certain someone first. Remember, it takes time.
This can be difficult, but you should always keep in mind that’s it will end in the best for both of you. Keep a positive outlook and remain control. Even if you only ever imagined a platonic friendship with them, it may not be what you need in your life right now, and moving on from this area can help you become more involved in your own choices, and live your life as stress free as possible, especially if this person was bringing negativity, stress or other features into your life, that aren’t something you can handle right now.
Anonymous
October 19th, 2018 2:20am
write about them. write all of your feelings, all the fun times you have had together, all the laughs, the jokes, the texts, whatever you find important. possibly even a drawing of them. whatever helps you get out your emotions and creativity into a physical form. crumble up the paper then unfold it. it’s less harsh, the paper gets softer the most and more you crumble it. if you truly want to rid yourself of it, rip it into pieces or burn it. if you’d like to look back on how you felt, crumble the paper a final time and put it in a box or notebook. shut it far away. that way you can safely release your emotions without hurting anyone or yourself.
Personally I have had to deal with that before. It was very hard because we talked often and I got attached, but I accepted the fact that we could not be and moved on. It took me a while to accept it, but I managed. I am proud of myself for having moved on, because in life there are better things to be focused on rather than to be focused on the person. Life continues and at the end of the day, what matters the most is yourself and how you are feeling. To feel happy and content leaving all of the negative and bad connections behind.
Codependency is when a person is dependent on another person to fulfill a need. Over a period of time it can be easy for a person to become attached to another person to provide feelings of ease and comfort. Something about this person provided you with that sense of ease and comfort and over time I am assuming you have gotten dependent on this feeling. To live without this is going to be challenging but it is possible. Start by finding ways to provide self-love, ease and comfort for your own well being. Part of being independent in life and growing consists of loving ourselves so we don't become co-dependent on others.
Anonymous
March 10th, 2019 1:22pm
Learn to love yourself and research unrequited love if that is the situation. It is a concept that will make sense about being in love with someone who doesn’t want you back. Loving yourself is something that is necessary for a healthy relationship with anyone and will allow you to be okay when you are alone or denied. We all struggle with self-love and should work on this constantly in our lives. When you fall in love with someone that you have never dated, getting over them can be the same as getting over a normal relationship. Trying to put things in perspective and looking into the future may help as well.
It's similar to getting over a breakup, you have to acknowledge, accept and mourn the loss of a relationship you never had. It's hard to get through but once you accept that they aren't "the one" it becomes easier, it also becomes easier with certainty and clarity so discussing with the person to make sure they don't feel the same can assist in moving on. Taking time for and care of yourself, taking interest in other people and putting yourself out there. Also mentally reminding yourself and associating that person as a friend in attempts to try and not view them romantically
Anonymous
April 17th, 2019 4:42am
There are plenty of fish in the sea and billions of people you have yet to meet. Don’t be afraid to explore your options! Step outside your comfort zone and take a look at the world around you. You never know, your next potential relationship could be right under your nose, but you’re just not looking hard enough. And if it’s not a relationship you want, then take time to focus on yourself and your hobbies. Whether it be spots or reading books, find your safe haven and return to it when you need it. There’s no harm in doing what you love.
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