He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?
171 Answers
Last Updated: 04/16/2022 at 5:48pm
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 5:02pm
You might have been "perfect for him" but was he perfect for you? Nope he wasn't. He wasn't perfect for you so you aren't missing anything
Some people change their opinions overtime. Think about an iphone. Some want the latest version even though they bought an earlier version that felt "perfect". More importantly, there is no such as perfect. Relationships need two people to grow together, for some they just have a different set of values. The good news is, him choosing someone else, says alot about what he values. This isn't about you not being "perfect", its about his reality in his head, that is not on you. No one is perfect, but finding someone who loves to be with you, that's more meaningful than mere words.
Sometimes people change their minds. It can be over a short or long period of time. I had the same thing happen to me a few times and it was upsetting, but I told myself that I was better than him and how i'd find someone better.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2018 8:15am
You are perfect in your own way and nobody can take thataway from you. You are very unique and beautiful.
I am so sorry to hear that he has chosen another. This must be very challenging to come to grips with him saying such beautiful words but then his actions say something else. I am glad that you came to 7Cups to share this with me. How have you been processing this since you first found out?
Maybe at the time he did think you were perfect for him, but later realized that tit wasn't the case.
Many times in life people say things to get what they want. That may have been a time when it was said and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. His interests may have changed or maybe he’s just not the right guy for you!
I has less to do with you and more to do with him. Probably he didn't know himself enough to keep exactly what he wanted, maybe he was just a coward, we can speculate a lot but that's not what is important. The important thing is that you dodged the bullet. You wouldn't want to be caught up in a relationship with someone who is confused or who tells you just what he imagines you want to hear and later his actions to be totally the opposite. This inconsistency between words and actions is a very big red flag about someone's character. You are lucky
I've learned people change minds often but you are perfect. Don't let him define you. I understand what its like for someone to betray you. It can feel lonely.
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2018 2:32pm
Perfection doesn’t mean the complete perfection sometimes we like things about the person but most of time we hate other things which doesn’t fit the partener’s Personality.
Sometimes it happens, maybe he wasn't the right person and it's totally nor related to your personality
A person's emotions aren't always clear. It must hurt going through that but you did nothing wrong. You gave him as much love as you could and in the end, you did your best. There will always be good and bad relationships; if you can give your best in the relationship then people will take notice. Never let anyone define who you are and your worth.
People change, idea of perfect is current and unreal. He didn't know you well enough back then, his opinion changed.
Anonymous
August 15th, 2018 7:04pm
You're better off -- what he said was considered a soft let down. You are perfect for someone who will appreciate and love you.
Sometimes people don't know what they're saying, the heart with so much love will speak in superlatives, but you haven't seen the whole picture yet, you know?
I know it's hurtful, but maybe you can take from it his sincere intention, rather than be disappointed by the loss. He loved you enough to say that once, you are lovable!
We all come and depart from here (earth) looking to only give and receive love, I understand if you're disappointed -- after all, so close! Yet the joke is this place is made of love itself, every good and bad experience is only an expression of existence's and people's love for you. Look around, look inside -- you may be surprised!
Anonymous
October 26th, 2018 6:07pm
Because he chose someone else, doesn't mean there was anything wrong with you. Whatever his reasoning was for it, understand that you could have done nothing to prevent it, and someone who really does want to be with you will come. Situations like these are bound to make you feel insecure, I understand, but the moment you realize that the problem was and is not within you, you will realize your worth and the kind of person you want to be with. Try not to compare yourself with others. Everyone is unique in their own way and have their own personalities. If you were not right for someone, you can be perfect for another - it's just a matter of patience, so don't think too hard into these things or rush them! :)
Anonymous
November 9th, 2018 10:20am
Seems like you're stuck in a saddening situation. I understand how it feels, and I know it's hard, but those are feelings we're dealing with. Maybe you're feeling anger because he made his judgement seem like a lie. Maybe you're sad he chose someone over you. It's horrible, yes. But life doesn't revolve around someone who left, dear.. And if you weren't perfect for him, you're definitely perfect for thousands out there. Dont be upset, and hope for the better. All of us are here for you whenever you need it. Don't rush things, the person who is made for you is coming up along the way :)
Rejection can be such a painful experience, but sometimes people who aren't meant for us take themselves out of our lives. Also, even if he said you were perfect for him, was he perfect for you? Do you want someone that would make you feel second best and prioritize someone else after leading you on? You deserve a more affirming love and it will come to you. And sometimes, it may not come from anyone else. Everyone comes to relationships with their own history that may cause them to act in painful or confusing ways. What's most important is building self sufficiency through self care!
Okay so i realized some guys are just so confusing and if he called you perfect but left you for someone else then he obviously isnt worth your time ! You'll find someone better and remember actions speak louder than words so the right guy wont just tell you youre perfect he will prove it . I can promise you the right one will come soon and you will wonder why you ever settled for less or why you were sad over a guy who was all talk and couldnt treat you the way you deserve to be treated! good luck
Anonymous
December 29th, 2018 7:31pm
I’m sorry to hear he did not choose you, its always sad to see someone you care about so dearly choose someone else. Ive experienced this myself, and it is never something one may enjoy. If he said you were perfect for him, he was either lying or he meant it at the time only, meaning its no longer his truth. Try to focus on other things that arent him for a while, and know that you are perfect, you will find someone some day, remember that. He’s not worthy of being in your wonderful mind. I love you.
Anonymous
January 13th, 2019 3:17pm
Just because you are perfect for someone doesn't mean you two are perfect together. If he was willing to pick someone else then he wasnt perfect for you and in the end he did you a favor. He could have wasted your time and kept you from missing a chance to be with someone who is perfect with you. Most relationships end when they are ment to so that we may learn from them and take what you have learned to apply it towards your next relationship. Which is what all failed relationships are. They are growth periods of discovering what it is you want out of a relationship.
Guys can be confusing sometimes. In reality, no one really knows what they want. What matters most is whether you think he was perfect for you and if not then you must consider whether it is reasonable to continue to pursue him. Remember, we have all been through a rough time and been told that they’d never leave us. You’re not alone. Listeners here on 7 cups are available whenever you feel like you’re not okay. Keep your head up and don’t settle for someone who isn’t worth your time. One day you’ll find someone who shows you they love you and not merely says it.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2020 9:41pm
One day he'll love you the next day he'll act like he never said that. It's what some guys do, they just think of it like a game and forget we have feelings too. The least we can do is to accept it and move on. We need to learn from it and not become too attached to him. It's lovely hearing such nice words from someone and it's comforting that you know they love you, but love yourself more first so you can pick yourself up quicker.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2020 4:23am
Maybe it was the timing of everything. Or maybe he was speaking of looks and not personality like maybe he did not click with your personality. You might be the greatest looking, but if you don't have a great personality things don't work out. So maybe you are an amazing person its just he didn't find something that was important to him in you, but in the other person. But he could have gone with the other person for some monetary benefit or anything of that sort. It could have been the timing of everything too. Maybe you two are great for each other, but it's just not the time.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2022 5:48pm
He probably used pretty words: you deserve better. Let his actions speak for themselves. Maybe you really are a good match; maybe he is a good match with multiple people (you might be too). Whatever the compatibility is, he either (1) didn't know what he was talking about compatibility-wise; (2) was trying to make you feel better; or (3) other external circumstances got in the way. You probably deserved a harder honesty from that person. Respect yourself enough to believe you really do deserve better for yourself. Center yourself; heal; do things you like; whatever you need to focus on yourself for awhile--find what you can learn from time spent with that person, and move forward strongly. You got this
Sorry about that! But have you had the chance to ask him why? Is it circumstances beyond his control or was he just saying the lies to make you feel good. You may need to know so you can put your mind at rest and settle that part of your life in order to move on.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 10:21pm
I'm not sure how to advise you. He has shown you that you're perfect for him but perhaps not what he was looking for. If you need closure, ask him WHY he chose someone else.
I understand what you are going through. If he chose to be with someone else, then you need to live with his choice. If he decides to come to you, then give him a chance, but do not attempt to change his mind once it is already made up.
Anonymous
August 21st, 2016 1:55pm
People grow to know themselves, their needs and their preferences better. He might have seen or sees something different now.
its because he doesnt want to hurt your feeling if you were like he said he will choose you from any one
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