Moderated by
Jessica Russo, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Hi! My name is Jessica and I believe that healing is possible for all people and I am here to be supportive along this journey.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 29th, 2016 3:22pm
You should start taking care of yourself. You're worth it. Do what you like and find time to spend it on yourself
You'll probably never forget your one sided love unfortunately. The best thing to do is to remember that it is one sided. If you love someone you want to make them happy, sadly even if that means leaving them alone.
I'm not going to lie, coming to terms with one-sided love is hard. Focusing on yourself and your well-being is key, though. It won't be an easy process, and it will take time, but use the people in your life as support, and they will help you the best they can.
You move on and you learn to love yourself, you learn to surround yourself around everything they never gave you. You want love, love yourself. You want laughter, watch something funny or hang out with friends who you know really make you laugh. Whatever it is, get it and in time, you'll forget about them.
It might sound cliche but don’t we all want something from our life and we take our own decisions so when someone else takes a decision for his/her life, arent we suppose to respect that. If you love someone, you want them to be happy and that feeling is fulfilling.
Of course it pains to be not with someone as you want to but friendship is important and you need not to forget love, love is not always being together in a romantic relationship. Love is the bond much more stronger than that. If you have not yet confessed about your feeling, be honest and confess it by clearly stating that this will not affect their friendship and no matter what the result is, you will share the friendship as it is. Speaking out something will clear your cloudy thoughts, assumption and apprehension's.
Think about what a good person you are and how you deserve to be in a relationship with someone that appreciates you for being you, and who cares as much about you as you care about them
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 5:48pm
To move on means to meet new people, to do more activities, to vent on 7cups, time heals don't worry
Remind yourself all the times when you fought for the persons attention, tried to talk to them but they made you feel worthless. Remind yourself reasons why it was one sided, all the opportunities they had to come to you, to message you but they didn't.
Realize that you don't deserve someones maybe, you don't deserve to be left hanging. You deserve a person who makes you their priority, who can love you as much as you love them. But if you keep yourself stuck on that one person, you will never be able to see these people who will treat you with love and compassion
Tell yourself that you can't control everything. You can only control yourself and your reactions. Congratulate yourself for making it this far and be proud of everything you've been through because everything is a lesson. You will just become a better person because this experience has made you stronger. You will get through this and learn to move on in life. Your feelings and emotions are valid, but you have to forgive yourself and let yourself get past this relationship. You are a strong, independent person and will find someone who deserves you! Don't give up on relationships because you are a great person.
Showing yourself love and respect is a skill that many of us are still learning. It can be a lifelong challenge but in the end, you have to love yourself most of all. Because if you can't love yourself, it makes it difficult to love someone else. That is why you must take time to be alone and learn who you are. You must explore yourself and be grateful for the things that make you you. Be proud of your quirky music tastes. Be proud of your life story no matter how dark it may be. Be proud of the good person you are.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2020 6:12pm
It can be hard to move on from unrequited or one-sided love. Often, when we feel a certain way for someone, and they don't feel that way towards us, we wish we could simply "forget" them, or the way we feel towards them. Unfortunately, actually "forgetting" can prove a difficult task. There are ways we can move on, but seldom do they involve really actually "forgetting". Instead, we can realize what the relationship is truly meant to be. Does the person wish to be a friend, an acquaintance, or something else? Once we understand someone else's goals for the mutual friendship/relationship, we can begin to reset our expectations. We should accept a person's willingness (or unwillingness) to play a certain role (or not) in our lives. This is a form of honoring their consent. Once we accept what they are able and willing to be, we can begin the process of resetting the relationship (or lack thereof) to reflect that. This means, among other things, adjusting our expectations of the person and the relationship.
It's a different process for everyone and generally just requires time. I suggest looking into the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy guide and Grief guide here on 7 cups. Consider focusing on self-care for a while, such as in taking time to do things you enjoy or build new habits, like gratitude journalling or exercising. You could also try strengthening your current relationships with friends and family or building new connections. Even going back into the dating pool is an option so that you can build some autonomy and control by taking action to meet more new people, which will increase the chance that you find someone you can connect deeply with.
When you are facing issues due to unrequited love, it is easier to let go of the trouble than to hold on to it in false hopes. A rebound is not the answer to forgetting onesided love. You can never really forget love. So, you decide to grow from it. Learn from it. And make a change in your life that hates to look back in regret. Make this change sustainable and help yourself stay happy and positive by looking straight ahead. Treat all the obstacles like adversities. Grow from embarrassments- call them experiences. Be mindful at all times. Calm yourself down instead of panicking. Talk instead of staying low-key and reserved. It is okay to be sad for some time, everyone is. B
Anonymous
May 29th, 2016 7:02pm
You can't just forget her, it's not as simple as that. But what you can do is try and get over her. Find someone who actually likes you bad. Or just deal with it
That can pretty difficult to get over someone because you are exposed to her daily. When you are exposed to a person it is hard not to love them. You can try to move on by looking for love else where. But I recommend reading the selfhelp guide on breakups even though you were never with her, there are some helpful things in there that can be helpful to you.
The only way to forget something like that is through time. Because you are meeting her daily it will take much longer and will be much harder but it will turn out.
You should confront these feels before you forget them. Find out what is making you hold onto those feelings.
Realize that a one-sided love is not healthy. Love is about mutual respect, appreciation and affection. There will be someone out there who will be able to give that to you. But first, give it to yourself by not allowing a relationship into your life that you are not benefiting from. Hang out with friends and family, find a hobby, do things that make you happy. By doing this, you are becoming your best self for a lover that will appreciate you for all that you are.
Sail away and the distance will allow you the luxury of forgetfulness. Keep the good memories and toss the bad ones away.
Anonymous
October 9th, 2016 10:51am
Rather than trying to forget (which may not come easily and may make you feel worse in the short-term), try to embrace the fact you did love and that even though it wasn't returned, your heart works and you have the ability to feel affection for another human being.
Time. The only cure for getting over a heartbreak is letting time take its course. It may seem like forever, and everyone's heartbreak period will be different lengths, but nothing is more precious in healing heartbreak than waiting.
The best way is to meet new people, and time helps as well since as the time goes it will get easier.
Anonymous
October 14th, 2016 1:10pm
Its hard but not impossible. You will find someone who will love you for who you are and then everything will seem normal. You just have to let it go and move on.
Being stuck on a relationship that's either ended long ago or that never was reciprocated can be difficult. I am guilty of playing movies in my head of perfect scenarios with my friends and loved ones, and I romanticize people that I am interested in.
These speculations and ruminations come from emotional problems that we feel are unresolved. There /could/ be a chance that my ex still loves me, we still could get back together... Your mind keeps replaying these scenarios and thoughts because the issue doesn't feel settled.
The Getting Unstuck guide ( https://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/ ) Is a useful resource, for this!
Take care of your needs and wants. It can be easy to put your partner’s desires before your own. Take care of yourself like you take care of your mate
You don't need to forget it, just understand that it happened and build on that knowing that it made you stronger, just understand that you know what isn't right and now know what is
I forgot my one-sided love by at first keeping my mind off of my one-sided love and then finding something new that I love and realizing one day I haven't thought about my one-sided love in a long time.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2016 4:43pm
Find things that nurture your health. After a bad relationship, you may be feeling all sorts of bad or self-doubting emotions. During this time, it is more important than ever to do things that make you feel good and feel good about yourself.[7]
Try getting more physical activity and spending more time outdoors for a natural boost in serotonin and dopamine.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2017 9:29pm
Forgetting a one sided love can be really difficult because you love that person so much. The best thing to do is focus on things that will distract yourself enough to the point that you don't think or see that person as the person who you loved and didn't love you back. Or you meet someone new and you get to loving them so much that you forget about the other person.
You must not forget a good dream. Wake up and face the truth, only real communication helps you along. Don't worry.
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