Moderated by
Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy
Psychotherapist
I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2017 6:26pm
Talk to them the way you'd like to be talked to! Ask them questions and if they like the same things you like, tell them! Try to understand how they're feeling, and learning to watch body language is a very good start. Smile when they smile, look worried when they're worried, etc. You can do this!
When I meet new people, I often feel anxious to start a conversation, because I'm scared I'll sound stupid or say all the wrong things. What helps me personally, is to try to have an open and positive mindset. Beforehand, I try to think of general, safe topics to use as a conversation starter. It doesn't have to be the weather, but it can just be something simple as where people are from, how long they've worked somewhere, etcetera. A bit awkwardness is okay, especially with strangers. Everyone is nervous talking to people they've never met, but be a bit courageous! There are many nice people out there, but you'll never know if you don't talk to them.
Start simple. Look at the person and note something you like about them, then give them a compliment. "I really like your shirt, where did you get it?"
Allow the conversation to grow and listen CAREFULLY. "Oh my daughter got me this shirt for my birthday!"
If you are listening, you know the person you talk to has children, or at least a daughter. Follow up on that : "Oh? How many children do you have?"
Remember that conversation is a give and take. The more you focus on the details of what others tell you, the more you can build out a framework of topics to discuss. If they have kids - you can ask, are they married? For how long? Are they a native of the city you met in? What's their favorite sports team, if they even like sports.
Listen. People will tell you a lot of snippets of their interests. Ask questions, and tell them about yourself too!
Anonymous
November 4th, 2017 9:56pm
If you're struggling to hold "normal" conversation with people, consider practicing different conversation topics online first. Join different forums and threads where you can attempt to hold conversations with people who have the same interests. After that, you can follow the example of people in TV series, movies, and talk shows. Practice your facial expressions and posture in front of the mirror. Work on your confidence and any self-esteem issues with a friend, family member, or counselor.
just take your time. relax. be yourself thats all you can be. dont worry so much. people should accept you for who you are.
The most important thing to remember when talking to people is to talk about them. Studies have shown that people find others more likeable when the others ask about them.
Anonymous
November 30th, 2017 12:32pm
everyone has their own label for normal. if you feel a person is viewing you as abnormal you may not know them well enough to understand. you can keep the conversation minimal. sometimes people like when you talk too much about yourself and more about them.
As long as you are kind and understanding, you can have great conversations! But also remember to be yourself! :)
Sounds like you are worried about your communication. When you say normally, what do you mean by that?
Anonymous
December 8th, 2017 6:08pm
Start by making them your friends. That will make it easier for you to be comfortable around them and speak normally.
Try to mention things that you like and see if they share the same interest. If not, start off by asking how they are and then slowly engage into light conversation such as school, work ethics
Anonymous
January 10th, 2018 9:06am
By using words. Socializing is not a piece of cake for everyone but the more you try and improve, the better you get a it.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2018 1:00am
You can talk to people normally by just be yourself, be willing to interact with others and go out with friends to have fun too.
Say Hello, Ask to sit with them. Ask them there likes and dislikes and compare them with yours. Try to be calm and slowly reveal you're true selves to them so they won't freak out. There you go!
Just be your wonderful self. You are normal. You are worthy. You are capable of this, don't doubt yourself.
Start with "Hello my name is ......." It's a great way to start talking with people or start by a smile or a wave.
What helps me is to pretend I am confident. It's difficult, and even impossible for some, but it helps to just pretend a little bit. Other people use different methods.
Conversations are all about people connecting. It helps to have shared interests/experiences and be aware of popular trends/famous people/tv shows/etc, but it all comes down to really wanting to hear what the other person has to say. You have to ask questions and genuinely care what their response is. If you know you won't care about their answer, don't ask that question. Do things that you're proud of and would be willing to share in a conversation. If someone asks you, "What did you do over the weekend?" and you don't want to tell them you just watched TV, slept, and played video games, then just choose to do less of those things and fit in at least one thing you'd be happy with.
You just pretend everyone you are talking to are people that you want to talk to. Have you checked out the pleasant activities list on the web so you can do fun things and meet new people?
Anonymous
March 18th, 2018 3:25am
Communicate with others in a kind and helpful manner. Talk to them as you would want them to talk with you.
Being yourself is the key. Nothing would be as beautiful and unique as you are. Relax, don't get nervous or anxious and feel comfortable with your company.
Just be less conscious of yourself, relax more, don't tense up or concentrate too much on what you're going to say next. Casual conversation should be something relaxed and easy like breathing in and out.
Just be yourself! Listen to people when they speak. Truly hear them. Be kind and honest with your responses. Let your personality shine :)
In reality, there is no such thing as normal. Be yourself, and people will love you for you. If someone does not love you for you, it is their major loss.
Just be comfortable and speak your mind. People will like you for who you are. Any way of feeling comfortable is the definition of normally
Anonymous
April 14th, 2018 11:20pm
Know that these "people" might be asking the same question as you. Dont think too much about it and try to visualize the best case scenario of how the conversation could turn out! Good luck
It's all about how confident you are and how comfortable you are with yourself. If you think low of yourself, that only makes talking to others more difficult.
try practicing with one person first? maybe chatting up people here at cups will also help :) let me know if you'd like to chat!
Normal is subjective. Just be yourself! Everyone has their own unique characteristics, no two people are the same. As long as you're kind, you are doing great.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2018 6:44am
Take a deep breath. Stay calm in your mind. Try thinking of how you will start a conversation and what you would like to talk about. I suggest making comliments about something such as maybe their hair, look or them being helpful, another thing is picking up on minor details that they may have such as their hair, shirt or keychains and see if you can start a conversation from there. For example maybe they died their hair and you can ask them about that, or they have a band shirt you recognize and you could ask them about that. Find little things to talk about even if it just how their day is going.
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