First Things First Together

Cooperation is a lot more productive than the competition. The author insists that in our interdependent reality, win-win is the only long-term solution to our problems.

The Win-win process

• Think win-win (mutual benefit)
• Seek first to understand, then to be understood (based on principles of
• respect, humility, and authenticity).
• Synergize (based on principles of valuing the difference and searching for third alternatives)
  
• Creating Win-Win Stewardship Agreements: When you are trying to come with a win-win agreements with a friend, boss, partner etc, use the following elements:
• Specify Desired Results: Many of the same elements that create empowering organizational mission statements are helpful in creating effective statements of desired results, such as:
  • focusing on contribution
  • addressing all four needs (Physical, mental, spiritual and social)
  • understanding what constitutes a “win” for all involved
• Set Guidelines: Identify all guidelines surrounding the issue based on true north principles.
• Identify Available Resources: Identify what resources are needed, how to access them and how to work with others who are using the same resources and what the limits are.
• Define Accountability: The author simply puts it as ‘Accountability deals with how we can tell how we’re doing’.
• Determine the Consequences: There are two kinds of consequences. Natural and Logical. Natural consequences are automatic and are not dependent on whether or not we achieve our desired outcomes. Logical consequences can be things like discipline.

Win-win summed up in few words is ‘This is what you expect from me; this is what I expect from you. Let’s meet in the middle and do it.’

What if we don’t agree?

Think Win-win: Don’t try to get your way and find a middle ground.

Seek first to understand: What is the problem from the other point of view? What are the key issues (not viewpoints) involved? What results would constitute a fully acceptable solution?