Grieving the Past…and Fearing the Future
In my early 20s, I thought that by 30, I’d be married with one or two kids. I’m currently 34 without a stable job and not even a boyfriend in sight. It doesn’t help that my mom (jokingly) pointed out that after 5 months, any pregnancy I have will be considered a “geriatric” pregnancy.
In my defense, this is a different time. So many women choose not to have kids. Or they choose to have them later in life. Plus, there’s always adoption. But if I’m being honest, maybe I’m just not meant to become a parent, anyway. It’s hard enough to deal with life, anxiety, and depression as a single and childless person in this crazy world, anyway. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just grieving the life I thought I wanted…life before my *** relationships, emotional issues after college, the pandemic, etc.
How do you find contentment as a single and childless woman in your 30s? I write, do diamond art, hang out with single friends, etc. But I’m still struggling…
@Ladyrocker17
I think most of us are not where we thought we would be in our 30's and so on.
Live life As it is instead of what you thought it would be. ........ often that does require grief and really letting go of the idea. The picture of life you had in your head is not going to be exactly like you thought or will look very different. if you keep comparing the differences.... it gets further and further apart.
I have had something similar where I thought things would be a certain way and slowly many have NOT worked out that way. it does not mean i did not have other things in life that frankly i would not have had if things had gone to my picture.
As best as you can let go of the "plan" live life each day without expectation .... and tell the universe or god whatever you believe in you are ready for the next chapter life may surprise you.
@Ladyrocker17 Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. I really relate to the fear of not meeting social expectations, especially those that are so deeply rooted in sexism. The idea that a woman’s value or purpose is tied to marriage or motherhood is a heavy, outdated narrative. The reality is, 30 is still young, and life doesn’t follow a one-size-fits-all timeline. What truly matters is finding your own happiness and well-being, regardless of societal pressures.
