Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
  1. Forum
  2. Women's Issues
  3. Confused

Confused
.

I’m at a point in my life where I am in the middle of accepting and making peace with the reality that there are certain things in my life that I might not be able to do anymore, or still try to see if I can still catch on my groove. Career-wise, I wanted to do travel nursing but I am married and wouldn’t want to risk the job stability I have at my current workplace and on top of that, we are trying to get pregnant this year. Family-wise, in my head, there are a bunch of things that I am planning (such as travelling, finding a new hobby, etc.) but then again, we are trying to get pregnant this year. Don’t get me wrong, me and my husband have been married for 3 years now and since the time we got married, I have always been the one that’s eager to start popping kids but now, I feel like this is the only time that me and my husband started feeling like we’re settling (me and my husband are both immigrants, he has been to this country for 6 years, meanwhile, it’s my 5th year now). Also, self-doubt sometimes kicks in and makes me wonder if I’m really ready to be pregnant. It just feels overwhelming because there’s a lot of things I feel like I have not done yet and in my mind, it’s as though I should be able to tick off at least half of my list before we start a family. I guess I’m just scared that one day, someday I will regret some things because I wasn’t able to fully accept my reality and make peace with it.

2
Aayla September 1st
.
@MarcelineTheVampireQueen95 it's normal to have conflicting thoughts, especially at this turning phase of life. Sometimes the confusion is fueled by the fact that society makes us think like some things must be done in a certain way, or within a certain period of time, or there is a pre-defined "sequence" of milestones to follow. It doesn't have to be like this, we're all free to make our own path. People can travel even with kids with the right conditions or support, career changes can be made, or parenting may happen later in life. These are all possibilities that are not often contemplated because we are made to believe it's not possible, and while there can certainly be obstacles, it doesn't mean we can't still try and make our own path as we go.
You and your partner could probably benefit from a long, open-hearted conversation about your needs, wishes and priorities. Maybe you can figure out a way to balance all your needs without having to sacrifice too much. That might mean delaying the pregnancy and have other experiences first, or figuring out ways to enjoy certain experiences later even with a kid, or anything else that feels right to you. It's up to you to figure out, just remember it's ok to go off the "beaten path" if it feels right.
Mya000 September 3rd
.

@MarcelineTheVampireQueen95 It sounds like you’re navigating some big decisions and emotions right now, and it’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed by all these factors. 

It’s okay to take your time in finding a balance that feels right for you. It might be helpful to focus on the present moment and what you can control, rather than trying to tick off everything on your list before making any big decisions. Reflecting on what truly matters to you and having open conversations with your partner could also be beneficial.

It’s great that you’re considering these aspects deeply, and seeking peace with your reality is a process that takes time. Be kind to yourself as you work through these feelings. If you ever need to talk more or need support, I’m here for you.

*Support Forum Disclaimer
My communities
Community guidelines
Report an issue
Talk to an expert therapist
The first step in healing is having to courage to acknowledge that you need...
Talk to D'Anna Now