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Maybe can feel bad without guilty here

foravretva June 10th, 2023

I'm a mom of an incredible 7 months old baby l, but I feel so lost and don't manage/ know how to go through what I would call a "long-lasted depression" that has been very tough since 2021.Ive felt more than exhausted and don't manage to recuperate, and easily fall in autodestruction acts, like taking refuge in food, and particularly the sweet ones. I live in Mexico, with no physically close friends, all are living in other places. I was so willing since I was struggling too much in France to get a regular Therapy, no matter the method was employed, just wanted help, and recognized it.

But they always have been suspended for external reasons. I've just get one in Mexico, then my psychologist gave birth, and like two months after I couldn't wait more to have session again with her then I started to see another therapist. But as it's quite informal : I give her French classes in exchange for her session, it's not regular and it has been 2 weeks I didn't have session with her, because she's in another place, even if we could do it through zoom or another meeting platform. I feel I really need like two sessions by week, have so much to get rid off.


Don't know, maybe find people here than are living though things too and to whom I can give and receive emotional support.


I love Arts in general and love to express myself through them, also yoga and other practices. But with the anxiety, guilty and very low self-confidence I got in myself, I've lost almost lost all my passions and at the same time, get so disconnected from myself.

2
SSGrace June 10th, 2023

Hello @foravretva



I am SSGrace. I am here to listen to you.


Congratulations on being a wonderful mother to your incredible baby. I can empathise with you in your motherhood journey.


Yes, as you say, Arts, Yoga are great platforms to express oneself.


Anxiety, Guilt and Low Self Confidence are three things that you have identified that restrict you from feeling connected to yourself.


When these come up during the day, how does it feel in the body? Have you noticed any patterns around which they come up?


Would you like to talk about the art forms, yoga and other practices that you love?

purpleFig7203 July 7th, 2023

I am sorry to read that you truggle with depression while a mother of a little one. This can certainly be a tough time. I can remember the challenges of having a newborn. I had to totally redefine myself. I lost friends or grew apart from them as I was a late in life mother and many my age had raised or we almost done raising kids and they were not in synch with me having a newborn at social outings and such.


I sorry to read of your challenge finding consistent therapy. I hope that is remedied soon. Tale time to practice self care. It's easy to sacrifice all for the little one and motherhood demands and not care for the baby's mother. You baby would want you care for, 😏


I hope you find little ways to take back your self care, whether it's a hot bath or a cup of tea and reading a magazine article. I used to drive to a large book store and walk around

And look at things then look at magazines and read an article or two while having a coffee or lemonade my little one seemed to like the atmosphere and usually stayed calm. Other days I would go to a park with a duck pond and feed them bread. I used to take the sleeping baby in the house in the car seat and put her in the bathroom while I took a bath. She would often sleep through it Those little 15-30 mins here and there seemed like vacation.


I get feeling disconnected. I had to sort of find a new me after becoming a mom some hobbies were hard to keep and I picked up some new ones for a time. I had anxiety about keeping everything as before then it clicked at some point that if I got through the day and the baby was in bed fed, clean and dry I had been successful. That was my job and everything else was extra. I later when the baby was sleeping more settled for the bathroom and kitchen and baby room being clean as my standard and the rest being extra.


Be gentle on yourself, motherhood is challenging. I hope you find your artistic self again soon. I am imaging an artist drawing a sort of visual comic baby memory book so I could give it to a teenager someday to let them see what a pain they were at times. A picture is worth a thousand words.