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Lav’s Directory of Glass Jokes!

LavenderHere October 24th, 2021

‘Looking at the World Through a Glass’ (If you want a more fancy title)

So hello everyone!! Since my awesome friend @Izzy274 told me I am the “Official Master of Glass Jokes”, I promised her I’ll make a forum thread full of glass jokes. I have been collecting a lot of them. And I made up a few. So this is a fun thread where I want to make a huge list of glass jokes by collaborating with all of you!!! (yay)


Everyone please feel free to post your glass jokes here. I’ll go first. So, here are mine:

So this is where everything started. The optimist says the glass is half-full, the pessimist says the glass is half empty. You might know this, but do you know what else happened?

glass-jokes_1635059198.png

Here’s how the rest of the people think about the glass-

Schrodinger says the glass is half-full and half-empty at the same time. (Get it?)

Heisenberg says that you can never figure out the exact amount of water in the glass because just by measuring the amount of water you’ve changed the outcome.

The engineer is the one who knows that the glass is actually twice as large as it needs to be.

The mathematician is sitting there taking measurements and trying to figure out the amount of water in the glass.

The quantum physicist (atom scientist) knows that the glass is technically at least 99% empty (since all atoms have 99% empty space)

The chemist says the glass is full of water- half in the liquid state and half in the gaseous state.

The skeptic thinks the glass has the juice of a slowly rotting lemon instead of water. (oops sorry @Moonlemon48 @lemonicecreamcake )

The biologist is sad because a glass of water alone can’t support plant or animal life but the doctor is happy to see the glass because he knows it can prevent dehydration.


The pragmatic person says- It’s a glass of water. End of story.


But our story doesn’t end here hehe


The philosopher is sitting there wondering whether or not the glass really exists, is it real or an illusion that everyone fell for. (Because philosopher want to know the truth of life)

The musician is trying to figure out the note you get when you strike a glass that’s exactly half-filled.

The english teacher says that the glass is the symbolism for life being not perfect but meaningful, that you don’t get everything you need or want but there is always a half-full glass to think about.

The psychologist says your interpretation of the glass is the manifestation of your subconscious beliefs about your locus of control and your inherent desires.

The socialist is researching how different societies have shared the glass of water over the decades.


Snack packing companies say that the glass is full the way it is. (Because they sell half-empty packets smh)

About trees- it is sad we are breaking the glasses that gave us the water we need to survive.


About college applications- Some universities aren't satisfied by knowing how full the glass is, they want to do a detailed analysis of the composition of each and every ion in water before deciding whether to pick it up or not

(About the insane focus on co curriculars and ‘getting to know you better’ and long essays)

And sometimes while comparing test scores we lose sight of the fact that it is difficult to compare the water in all the glasses because they come in different shapes and sizes so measurements aren’t reliable. Each glass is special.

Self esteem is a measure of how full you think your glass is. The glass is always half full, but sometimes we tend to think that it is empty. So a gentle reminder- your glass may not be completely full, but it is still half-full which is awesome. It means there is a scope for improvement but you're still awesome.


Ending with one about 7Cups-

For this one, let's say water level represents hope. 7Cups is basically an initiative where those who have a lot of water can share some with those whose glasses are nearly empty so that everyone can enjoy water together


So this was Lav turning almost everything into a glass joke smh. I hope you enjoyed reading this- I know it was really long so if you read the whole thing, I am very impressed.

Cookies and snacks for everyone who wants some!!

Lavender!!


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LavenderHere OP October 24th, 2021

Tagging a few friends (ok honestly tagging many many friends)

@Rose644 @considerateorange2567 @SkyLindenHope @HealingBrokenWIngs @Iamsidhere @PatientMate @Nerdtastic01 @ListeningSarinn @Izzy274 @mamtasha22 @RiverTheWolfL @kieran0000 @SuryanshSingh @MollyT @Artalistens @EmmaE @calmingMermaid5761 @considerateParadise6167

@CommunityModAnne @CommunityModWillow @CommunityModEden @CommunityModLucy @CommunityModChristine @CommunityModEver, @Mango3 @Minervaaa @Fristo @ColorfuldogsofParadise @Bubblegumwings1234 @Amy @vivelespatates @lueurspace @JustOneMoreEpisode

@emotionalTalker2260 @blueberrywaffles @FrozenWinterFW @fallenstarss @Angelx28 @sunshinegiraffe123

I am really sorry if I tagged someone who didn’t want to see this or forgot to tag someone. Everyone please feel free to tag more people if you’d like

Now I need to go since my mom is calling me out for leaving a half-filled glass of water on the table (another glass joke smh)

Also fun fact- this was my first forum thread. I hope you enjoyed reading it


1 reply
FrozenWinterFW October 24th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924


Tagging your friends :P It's fine :D

I might will read over this, and see if I can make a post :D

1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 24th, 2021

@FrozenWinterFW
Yay frozen!! Looking forward to your post!!!

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JustOneMoreEpisode October 25th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924

ooooo thank you for tagging me lav this is so interesting to read and I love it, gonna subsribe and keep so I can read it anytime wooohooo!

1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 25th, 2021

@JustOneMoreEpisode

Epi thank you so much for reading and subscribing hehe- I am so glad you liked it!!!!!!

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HealingBrokenWIngs October 25th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924

Tis osum! Thanks for the tag!! <3

1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 25th, 2021

@HealingBrokenWIngs
Yay you liked it Wings!! Thank you for reading!

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November 6th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924

Ooo, this sounds like so much fun! I shall participate soon enough! Thanks for creating this, Lav! 😛

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emotionalTalker2260 October 24th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924

XD lmao (☞゚ヮ゚)☞ i enjoyed these jokes. smh smh

5 replies
emotionalTalker2260 October 24th, 2021

(☞゚ヮ゚)☞ i am tagging @DonaldDraper 😈 enjoy this thread Don

LavenderHere OP October 24th, 2021

@emotionalTalker2260

Yay you enjoyed the thread- that's awesome to know! Also thank you for tagging @DonaldDraper

3 replies
October 25th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924 I hope you know how awesome this post is.
I am like, 'if I keep staring at it 😵 I might need glasses' (it's just a warmup 😜)

@emotionaltalker2260 Thank you for the tag and letting me know about this cool post.

My Glass Joke:

What is the art of eating glass called?
.
.
.
foodglassm 😂

2 replies
emotionalTalker2260 October 25th, 2021

@DonaldDraper

😛 you're welcome Don

Also, that joke is hilarious

LavenderHere OP October 25th, 2021

@DonaldDraper
Don is awesome at coming up with glass jokes I see- really like this one!
And thank you so much for reading the thread and adding some water in the glass (the jokes collection) hehe


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Moonlemon48 October 24th, 2021

My brain seems energized now because of lav hehe xD

Honestly I love this so much Im reading it over and over again🤍

1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 24th, 2021

@Moonlemon48
Thank youuuu moon! And yay your brain is energised- that's awesome!!

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FrozenWinterFW October 24th, 2021

*reads over things*


I like these, they are quite funny XD smh, Vav. You've done it again :D

1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 24th, 2021

@FrozenWinterFW
Yay you like them- I'm glad to hear that! Thanks a lot!!

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LavenderHere OP October 24th, 2021

Everyone you might be happy to know I'll make this a thread where I post more glass jokes every week...so if there is something you want me to make a glass joke about please feel free to tell me!!!!

So don't forget to check out this thread next Sunday for some more glass jokes!! 🥛

Izzy274 October 24th, 2021

Lavvvv this is awesome :o

I have no idea how you thought of so many glass jokes but it just reaffirms the fact that you're the master of them smh.

I'm looking forward to hearing some more next week though hehe <3


1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 24th, 2021

@Izzy274
Izyyy yay you like them and I hope I retain my title of 'Official Master of Glass Jokes' smh
And yes I'll think of a few more and then post them here next week!!
Thank you so much for reading and respondinggg!

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HealingBrokenWIngs October 25th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924

Life is now consistent entirely of glass, water, and air :D <3

1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 28th, 2021

@HealingBrokenWIngs

Smh kind of yes Wings!!! Maybe that's true

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Iamsidhere October 27th, 2021

Heheh lavie you are amazing 💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛💜💙💚❤️🧡💛 smh I had fun reading jokes. Thank you for tagging me

1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 28th, 2021


@Iamsidhere

Yay sid!!!!

I'm glad you enjoyed them hehe and heart overload smh lol

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LavenderHere OP October 31st, 2021

Posting really late on Sunday (Monday for me smh) but better late than never

The geometry teacher is wondering if the glass is sitting there getting a tan to get rid of its sin of being half-empty? (get it? tan, sin- trigonometry)

The architect is studying the design of the glass trying to understand how it is strong enough to hold so much water in it.

About preventing burnout- use water carefully. If you use it everywhere without saving, your glass will become empty soon. If you have less water, give it time to fill up

One about me- Lavender is now staring at the glass and thinking these jokes aren’t their glass of water smh (cup of tea lol)

Sometimes we spend so much time contemplating on the glass and making theories that we forget the initial purpose. So now let's take a break, have that half-filled glass of water and reflect.

(That was my fancy way of saying I ran out of those jokes smh. I hope you enjoyed these...will post if I come up with more!

12 replies
HealingBrokenWIngs October 31st, 2021

Another osum post by the osum Lav :) <3

1 reply
LavenderHere OP October 31st, 2021

@HealingBrokenWIngs
yay you liked this one teehee

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Izzy274 October 31st, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924

Lavvv more glass jokes :o

These are amazing hehe :)

And there are so manyy glass jokes, I can definitely see why it's hard to think of more ahah.

Thank you for all your awesome glass jokes though!

*petition to start a list of your chemistry puns hehe*

7 replies
LavenderHere OP November 1st, 2021

@Izzy274
I'm glad you liked them teehee...and yes I ran out of them lol (used up all the water in the glass)
Also I'd love to make the chemistry pun thread lol but they are very common and can be found easily. If I come up with something more unique (like this, hopefully) I'll surely make a thread out of it hehe

November 6th, 2021

@Izzy274, @empatheticLavender2924

Yes, please! Chemistry puns are amazing! (Me being a science nerd 🤓😛) 💜

If you don’t, I will! 😛

5 replies
LavenderHere OP November 11th, 2021

@Nerdtastic01
Nerd waiting for your chemistry jokes thread hehe

4 replies
November 12th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924

I shall create it soon! 😛

3 replies
November 13th, 2021

@Nerdtastic01

😏 It has been created! 💜

Link to the forum thread: Click here!

2 replies
November 13th, 2021

@Nerdtastic01

🙈 I just love when I accidentally tag myself

1 reply
LavenderHere OP November 13th, 2021

@Nerdtastic01
We love it when that happens too...and thank you for sharing the link to that here and adding some laughter into the glasses of all the cupsers here hehe

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November 6th, 2021

@empatheticLavender2924

Yay, another amazing post made by Lav!

Make sure not to keep your glass half-empty, everyone! Turn it into an optimistic half-full scenario! 💜

1 reply
LavenderHere OP November 6th, 2021

@Nerdtastic01
Yay nerd I'm glad you liked this and thank you for adding another joke into the glass hehe!!

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LavenderHere OP November 1st, 2021

Tagging an oldie friend hehe @courageousheart96
And a nice teenie too @KateDoskocilova
Enjoy the thread!!