Lav’s Directory of Glass Jokes!

‘Looking at the World Through a Glass’ (If you want a more fancy title)

So hello everyone!! Since my awesome friend @Izzy274 told me I am the “Official Master of Glass Jokes”, I promised her I’ll make a forum thread full of glass jokes. I have been collecting a lot of them. And I made up a few. So this is a fun thread where I want to make a huge list of glass jokes by collaborating with all of you!!! (yay)

Everyone please feel free to post your glass jokes here. I’ll go first. So, here are mine:

So this is where everything started. The optimist says the glass is half-full, the pessimist says the glass is half empty. You might know this, but do you know what else happened?

Here’s how the rest of the people think about the glass-

Schrodinger says the glass is half-full and half-empty at the same time. (Get it?)

Heisenberg says that you can never figure out the exact amount of water in the glass because just by measuring the amount of water you’ve changed the outcome.

The engineer is the one who knows that the glass is actually twice as large as it needs to be.

The mathematician is sitting there taking measurements and trying to figure out the amount of water in the glass.

The quantum physicist (atom scientist) knows that the glass is technically at least 99% empty (since all atoms have 99% empty space)

The chemist says the glass is full of water- half in the liquid state and half in the gaseous state.

The skeptic thinks the glass has the juice of a slowly rotting lemon instead of water. (oops sorry @Moonlemon48 @lemonicecreamcake )

The biologist is sad because a glass of water alone can’t support plant or animal life but the doctor is happy to see the glass because he knows it can prevent dehydration.

The pragmatic person says- It’s a glass of water. End of story.

But our story doesn’t end here hehe

The philosopher is sitting there wondering whether or not the glass really exists, is it real or an illusion that everyone fell for. (Because philosopher want to know the truth of life)

The musician is trying to figure out the note you get when you strike a glass that’s exactly half-filled.

The english teacher says that the glass is the symbolism for life being not perfect but meaningful, that you don’t get everything you need or want but there is always a half-full glass to think about.

The psychologist says your interpretation of the glass is the manifestation of your subconscious beliefs about your locus of control and your inherent desires.

The socialist is researching how different societies have shared the glass of water over the decades.

Snack packing companies say that the glass is full the way it is. (Because they sell half-empty packets smh)

About trees- it is sad we are breaking the glasses that gave us the water we need to survive.

About college applications- Some universities aren't satisfied by knowing how full the glass is, they want to do a detailed analysis of the composition of each and every ion in water before deciding whether to pick it up or not

(About the insane focus on co curriculars and ‘getting to know you better’ and long essays)

And sometimes while comparing test scores we lose sight of the fact that it is difficult to compare the water in all the glasses because they come in different shapes and sizes so measurements aren’t reliable. Each glass is special.

Self esteem is a measure of how full you think your glass is. The glass is always half full, but sometimes we tend to think that it is empty. So a gentle reminder- your glass may not be completely full, but it is still half-full which is awesome. It means there is a scope for improvement but you're still awesome.

Ending with one about 7Cups-

For this one, let's say water level represents hope. 7Cups is basically an initiative where those who have a lot of water can share some with those whose glasses are nearly empty so that everyone can enjoy water together

So this was Lav turning almost everything into a glass joke smh. I hope you enjoyed reading this- I know it was really long so if you read the whole thing, I am very impressed.

Cookies and snacks for everyone who wants some!!

Lavender!!