Feeling bad
I just want to vent a little I guess.
It's been a really bad year for me. I'm not close with my parents at all. My mum hates me, she has done for years, not sure why. I feel like she regrets having me? But we're not close. If I bump in to her in the street and say hi she ghosts me, says nothing and keeps walking like I'm not even there. That hurts a lot. I've heard before that girls should be close with their mums but no matter how hard I try I can't get close with her. So sad.
I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and PTSD. A few months ago I was abused by some stranger I'd never even seen before, and though it wasn't really my fault, I still feel ashamed and responsible for what happened. Sometimes I just break down and cry. And my mental health is so triggered since it happened. And I'm now pregnant which sucks because I'll be a terrible mum.
I've started self harming again. I used to self harm all the time as a teen but then stopped but it's started again now. Yesterday I had to go to hospital for stitches because I cut to deep.
Just feeling in a really bad place right now and don't know how to get out of it. I feel trapped and very low.
I'm grateful to be able to come here. I've made some friends on cups and they help me more than they know.
Anyway rant over.
Charlie xx
@CharlaCharlie
You can still be a good mother if you want to be , no pressure with the choice, it will be yours always but know that you have the power for any change you wish to make in your life and certainly not defined by your mum .
It is nice you are here and made good friends too . Hugs if you consent . <3
@CharlaCharlie
dear charlie
i can see that u are struggling and u really doubt urself about mother hood ..but i just want to tell u that u can take up this chance to create a new life for urself and the beautiful child u are carrying ..u can give the baby all the love that u didn't get as a child u can relive ur childhood through ur baby ..u are so powerful darling u r creating a new life ..u r so capable and u'll be a great mother all u need to do is to promise urself that u'll not let ur child go through what u have faced as a teen and u'll be strong for that little beating heart . u know the best for urself and for the baby ..don't let the world tell u other wise. hope u and ur baby have a great life ahead( only u can make it happen)
happy holidays
Hey, I'm so sorry for what you have experienced. I hope you find it in yourself to be the type of mom you always wanted to have growing up ❤ There's nothing i can say to change the past but i wanted you to know you have people rooting for you!
