write your poetry here!!

This is my most recent poem, I've been writing them as I've been going through a difficult time. I've never posted poetry before, so constructive criticism or any comments would be great. I don't really know what I'm doing. :)

It starts as a flicker and grows within,

Feeble and small, but a flicker, a grin,

A tiny spark; it’s there, it’s dim,

Something new is about to begin.

A soft seduction of quiet hope,

The small shimmer of how to cope,

Now grows more to envelop,

The dark, torpid time spent alone.

Soot ash walls surround a fortress,

Of the pit of betrayal and mistrust,

But dominant daggers of diamond dust,

Sparkle softly, silently to rebuild us.

A little touch, a giggle, a glance

One slight smile; developing romance.

It’s me and you in this vast expanse,

Hold my hand. Take this chance.

And when the walls grow so thin,

And when I feel us skin to skin,

And when you forgive all of my sin,

Then I’ll open me up and let you in.

I had always thought it strange, how the lines

on a basketball court fascinated me

more than the sport itself. How simple paint intertwines

and combines with my mind’s constant silent plea.

It made me think more of multitudes of colored waves,

than a game with such rules and regulations.

Made me think of the silence heard at graves,

than the silence heard during halftime hesitations.

I want to sit still in the middle of a court

amid all the lines, like a painter in front of an easel, waiting

with baited breath for inspiration to strike, in short,

listening quietly as my soft heart continues pulsating.

Silence, please, as I become as close to these lines as to myself.

It is time to reveal the truth of my heart as one does for oneself.

Some die lovingly embraced; others die tragically disgraced; will you walk the road that leads to ruin? Or will you instead be fast and fluid? It makes no difference under the deep dirt, alone and trapped in hurt.

I'd like to post another poem - I've been working on several and I'm not sure about where to go to get feedback on them. Does anybody have any other sites that review poetry? I hope it's okay posting a second one. I'm very new to this:

The abyss of loneliness and doubt grows,

Like a great waving rising up from the sea.

Dark, mountainous surges surrounding,

Demolishing all of reality.

Deep down below, they are lurking,

Obscured by the black sea,

Hungrily searching the sadness

Barely able to see;

Lingering fingers of lonesomeness,

Grabbing greedily,

Stretching to seize any specimen,

Consuming, mercilessly.

And the sea is cold and rough,

And the sky is as black as coal,

The wind rips around us callously,

Penetrating into our very soul.

The stony sky starts to crack open,

As cries shriek from it’s heart,

The drips of a silent surrender,

The rain like an icy dart.

I touch my face slowly,

And feel the dampness of rain,

The tiny drips that settle,

Permeates my membrane.

It trickles into our minds,

Questioning our skin,

What our intention?

Confess to me all your sin.

I wipe my face hurriedly,

And blink my stinging eyes,

I try to dismiss it,

But it’s too late to deny.

It’s here and it’s settled in my head now,

Like a great lolloping dog,

It’s sat in front of the fire,

My mind fills with fog.

It’s friendly now, comforting,

This loneliness and doubt

Why was I afraid anyway?

I forgot how it felt without.

I wrote this when I tried to motivate myself to live...

You fell from the bridge

Cold water pours into your lungs

You stand by the open fridge

Fill and fill your stomach with the stones

Or you don't eat, because of disgust

let muscles get weak

and all the weight of your body held by just bones

you cough up water on concrete

with a little blood

because of your own finger, scratching inside

you know, there's mud on a bottom

it's just brown

but fearsome in your head

You’re a fucking butterfly, ‘cause you just let it lead you

You can’t fall asleep without the sweet lullaby

You cry though they’re playing a comedy

You’re drowning in a spoonful of milk

the silk is too much rough for you

girl, you have to overfly this rainy period

you scarify your own skin

you don't have to win

just join the world

The little candle in your hands

has a pretty short wick

but you handle to breathe

you can build a wall with only one brick

and paint there the words running out from your lips

so, just take few sips of lemonade

‘cause I’m already frustrated with your tears

the fears aren't in the puddle where you're laying

they are in your mind

so they actually aren’t

this water is clean

you just cuddle there with it

you're not a queen that you'd be a perfect leader

neither are they

you have just a covered face

mind in another space

but you are one of these little mouses

you don't want to lose your tail

you don't want to fail

you fell from the bridge

and stand up

just like the leaves on the tree

they fall for the breeze

i hope one day you will

do the same for me.

dont keep me waiting

cuz' i will wait far too long

Lavender fields darkened to the purple of a storm cloud

Emotions soaked up with blue

Trusts broke up to shards scratching the skin

Insanities control the breath

Thoughts tangle the song line

Goals vanished with the sunset

Ordinary things injure wings

we were so lost in our river of love

that we gave birth to an ocean of lies...

i thought our love was beautiful like fireflies...

beautiful and luminous

but it turned out to be like a dove

a dove that flew far away from us

with its companion called trust

and all we had left were the broken peices of

our hearts...and coutless tears

it was like my biggest fear just came true

as all along we knew it would

I really like this sending my poems to space! It feels good not just to leave them in me, but to share them.

A stormy cloud

Dyes dolly’s hair

Purple and blue

so that she stands out in the crowd

so that she goes down the stairs

like a flare brightening up the room

like an angel

like the clearness of true

the dolly would love to stand up from the chair

but she has no clue

how to gain more air

she would scream out loud

but it’s just about the two

the dolly crying, it’s not fair

and the dolly dying dolly’s hair

i live a lie i think,

is this life or is this something else

i feel like this is a nightmare

i cant breathe

help me please

i am suffocated at the same place all over again

it is all up in flames now

just help me please...