help me pls as a newbie

RUN, do NOT marry this creep! I'm a 68 year old woman, married 36 years with 2 grown kids and 1 grandson. My kids are my life. My husband and I are stuck in a loveless marriage. He was a cheater too and I wish someone had told me not to settle. I was almost 30 when we met. I grew up thinking I had to get married and have kids. My clock was ticking. He came along. We liked each other but we didn't have an intense 'love story'. We had similar interests and had fun together. We dated for a few years, then moved in together. I caught him cheating but still stayed with him. Got married, had kids, bought the house, all the things that should have made me happy. Started taking antidepressants in 1999 when my dad was dying of lung cancer. It also helped me cope with raising 2 kids, practically on my own. But antidepressants don't fix anything. Feelings become numb, and get buried. I recently weaned off the medication after being on it for 25 years. Big adjustment but I'm working through it. After 36 years with this man, I want a divorce. It's probably not going to happen because I'll be the one to lose more than him. Financially and my relationship with my kids. I'm afraid to go through with it.

I'm apologize for running on about my life. But I hope it gives you a glimpse of what you could be getting yourself into with a cheater. And he sounds mean. Why would he tell the woman he loves and is marrying that someone else is more beautiful than she is??? Think about that. Please love yourself more and show him the door.

Hey girl

Choose someone who will love you and find you beautiful in and out

The fact that he makes you feel insecure is yucky and disgusting get a better man babe

Don't marry him because he's all you know

But because he will love you and cherish you and you will not feel insecure around him

XOXO 😘

Stay positive and beautiful

Dont Marry him . He is a red flag. 

thank you for all your comments 🙏❤️

@Secureme1111 She is his ex for a reason and you are fiance for a reason. Just because some ex was the tallest, the richest, the prettiest, the smartest it doesn't take anything away from you. You are tall enough, rich enough, pretty enough and smart enough for him to want to marry you plus you have all the package. Marriage is about so many more things than beauty. Would you prefer for him to consider another person better company or better mother for his kids? I guess not. Nobody is perfect but you are chosen to be the other half. Enjoy it

@Secureme1111

i am so sorry this is happening to you, and I can understand the difficulty of dealing with something this heartbreaking. Just remember that you came to the right place, there are different communities that could assist you as well which are 
general support forum page and relationship forum page. 
There is always a 24/7 session going on in the sharing circle that you could always join to share and gain support, as well as relationship stress community sessions when they are hosting their chatroom session. We are all here for you and hope that you continue to push forward <3 

@Secureme1111 It seems like you're struggling with trust and attraction issues, especially with what your boyfriend said about finding his ex more attractive and his past infidelity. I can imagine how that might make you question things. How do you feel his comment about his ex impacts your view of your relationship? And what do you think would need to happen for you to feel more confident in your decision moving forward? Do you think you should reconsider things, even if your mom thinks it’s normal?

@Secureme1111

You're rightfully concerned about the longevity of your relationship. Though its important to "divorce" certain concepts form each-other so they can be explored individually. Some thoughts that come to mind;

- Is personality more important than looks to your partner? (Could they insinuating you are a better match?)

- Is your partner still upset that the relationship with their ex didn't work? (Do they have past regrets?)

- How does your partner rate beauty? (What things do they find attractive?)

I am always mindful with long term relationships because communication and negotiation are key. It sounds like you are willing to take that next step, but have become unsure of your partner's motivations. If your partner is telling you the unfiltered truth, that is significant. It can be a sign they are ready to have those difficult discussions. It can also be a sign they are having doubts as well. Though you can't take the good while ignoring the bad; as a whole you need to trust your instinct but measure things up so you can evaluate the whole. Don't ignore small things, but don't give them excessive weight either. Put them into words and make them real- face them together. Everyone has a past, and many people like to work through their difficulties with someone they trust.

don’t do this to yourself, i’m sure you deserve better, don’t ever settle for this type of men you will never be happy if your self confident is crashed because of him , besides that this stupid sentence he said is an indicator for other bad things in his personalty and the way he will treat you, leave him now better than later, and honey you deserve a man who will never say something stupid like this, you deserve a man who sees you as the most beautiful and sexiest woman as you are

Why would he tell you, that. If he loves you, he would not do that. It seems to that he has a big head and quite possibly a cheat. If it is true, it still does matter, it’s not all about looks. He is supposed to marry you for you. If he thinks she is better looking that you: why did he leave her in the first place.

i would kick him into touch. And find someone, who loves you for you. You are worth so much more