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Inside the mind of an Overthinker

Lomanee November 29th, 2023

Hey Everyone :)

Newbie here!

I started writing this yesterday but kept deleting it....mainly because I feel that I am rambling and not making sense.

Let me try again.....

How do we as overthinkers switch off??? Somedays I think being like this is a blessing because as you know, we have thought of every outcome in a situation and can prepare ourselves. Then comes the days where its an absolute curse!! yet again we are thinking of EVERYTHING!!!

I am girl that struggles a lot with her weight..... when I'm happy, I eat. when I'm sad, I eat. Shoving food in my face seems to be the only way I can deal...... in all honesty it might be the only way to stop thinking even its only for that bit of time. 

A few days back, I had a conversation with my fiance about changing our habits and it all went well until he said that he doesnt know what to do about me and he doesnt want to be nasty and tell me what he thinks about me at that moment....... well there you go...... switch has been flipped. Since then I struggle with everything. I cant concentrate at work. I cant play my online games. I struggle to read all my favorite books.... not even watching my dramas seem to quiet my mind. I feel sick. I have this constant pain in my stomach. 

My mind is going through a million thoughts.... What is he thinking?..... am I that disgusting? ......Why cant I stop eating? over and over and over again.....

I need to switch OFF!! 

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Mya000 November 29th, 2023

@Lomanee Hey there! First off, welcome! It's great that you've reached out, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

It's completely okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, especially when dealing with thoughts about oneself and personal habits. I want you to know that you're not alone in this, and it takes courage to open up about such matters.

As overthinkers, finding that switch to turn off can be challenging, but it's a journey that many of us are on. It's wonderful that you've recognized both the positive and challenging aspects of being an overthinker. Understanding ourselves is the first step toward positive change.

It sounds like the conversation with your fiancé triggered a lot of emotions, and it's entirely normal to feel this way. Remember, you are not defined by one moment or one conversation. It's okay to take a step back, breathe, and focus on the things that bring you joy and peace.

Dealing with emotions through food is a common challenge, and breaking that pattern is a process. Small steps can make a big difference. It might be helpful to share your feelings with your fiancé and let him know how his words impacted you. Open communication can lead to better understanding and support.

As for switching off, finding activities that bring you joy or calmness can be beneficial. Whether it's taking a walk, listening to music, or practising mindfulness, exploring different outlets might help quiet your mind.

Remember you are valued and worthy of love and understanding. If you ever need to talk or share, we're here for you. You're not alone in this journey.

Sending you positive vibes and support 🌟

2 replies
Lomanee OP November 29th, 2023

@Mya000

Hi Mya :)

Thank you so much for the kind words! Just struggling to make them stick.....

Due to being raised in a strict home with an alcoholic mother and abusive father, I taught myself to keep quiet and not make waves to rock the boat. Even though my fiancé is nothing like that and I love him to death, I am still scared. One would think that after what we have been through together and him excepting me ( I was in the closet and after he proposed, I felt so guilty!!) that I would be able to tell him that his words hurt me. I just cant. I don't know how to..... its really frustrating!!!! 

He can see that something is bothering me, and he keeps on asking.....but what do I do..... Smile and say "Im alright". I think that coping meganism of smiling and saying "yes, Im fine" is so imprinted that its the only correct answer to give. One would say I am a sucker for punishment! but then again would it help to open up and say it? What if it gets even worse? 

WHAT IF......



1 reply
Mya000 November 29th, 2023

@Lomanee You've been through a lot, and those past experiences have understandably shaped how you navigate emotions and communication.

It's completely okay to find it challenging to express your feelings, especially when you've developed coping mechanisms like smiling and saying I'm alright. It's a protective response that served you in the past, and breaking away from such habits can be difficult.

Opening up to someone, even someone you deeply care about, can be intimidating. However, it's important to remember that healthy communication is a key foundation for any relationship. Your fiancé cares about you, and it seems like he genuinely wants to understand what's going on. Sharing your feelings doesn't make you a burden or weak.

If you're worried about how to start the conversation, you could consider expressing it in a way that focuses on your feelings rather than placing blame. For example, you might say something like, "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and I'm struggling to find the right words. Can we talk about it when you have some time?" This way, you're inviting him without making it seem like he's done something wrong.

Remember it's okay to take small steps, and  you don't have to share everything at once. Building trust and opening up gradually can make the process more manageable. You're not alone, and your feelings are valid. Feel free to reach out if you need more support or someone to talk to 💜

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Tinywhisper11 November 29th, 2023

@Lomanee I always tell people, thinking is bad for us, and we shouldn't do it. But I understand you. I tend to overthink alot. But remember you are not disgusting, you are beautiful ❤ and life is to short to worry about weight. I know how hard it is to love ourselves and the way we look. But that's society's doing, and in all reality we shouldn't have to think that way. I hope you can find peace in your life really soon. Art always calms my mind. Please remember to be kind to yourself ❤❤ gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤squeezes you tightly ❤ we are all here for you sweetie ❤

Overcome10 December 1st, 2023

Hi. I can relate a little. I binge at night and want to stop. Struggling for years to find a way to stop