I joined 7Cups Because I have no real relationships?

I joined 7Cups Because I have no real relationships?  This statement is both a question and a fact.  I believe in honesty and accuracy.  If I say that I have no relationships then I would imply that I have no relationship with anyone including my parents or people at work.

Let me break it down for you why I want to use the statement:  "I have no real relationships."

I am a 45 year old man who still lives with his parents.  In all my years growing up, my relationships with other people haven't been very good.  It has always been hard for me to make friends, and I have never had a good girlfriend.   I feel like I got to say "never had a good girlfriend" because what is a girlfriend anyways?  There have been women who have come and gone that I liked.  Things never worked out, and we never went on a date.  Most of them were just people on the internet that I got to chat with and flirt with.  Some of them hurt me.  In fact just about all women in my life, except for my mother and grandmother has hurt me, and gone away.  The one's who haven't hurt me are people that a little too distant to hurt me.

I'm not a perfect guy by any stretch of the means.  I just happen to be a single guy with a sex drive, who has had bad luck in life.

My bad luck started off in 1987.  I had flunked kindergarten, and now I find myself in a readiness class.  A class that was meant to prepare me for the  1st grade.  While I was in this class I was diagnosed with a learning disability.  I had no idea that this learning disability was going to define me for the rest of my life.  And maybe even be the reason why I was going to end up in an isolating job that I hated with no escape.  I didn't know that it would put a target of **** on my back.

People like to pick on me because of my learning disability.  It does something to me that causes me to be like:  "I don't get it."  I'm slow and I can't understand what is going on around me and why.

Back in 2002 I joined the internet social things, that included dating sites with one goal.  Maybe meet a woman that understood me.  But as the years of failure went by, my depression increased.  I got to the point to where I was like "I give up on this goal."  I got to focus on my mental health now.

After reading this, you might think that I'm on 7cups to try and meet a single woman, who understands me.  That would be a nice thing if that happened.  But that is not why I joined 7cups.

I joined 7Cups because I don't have anyone in my life, male or female, that truly understands my social and life problems.  This is the only place I can go to talk about my issues, and try to feel better.

In the past several years, my main goal is to feel better.  Thinking about all the things that I wish I could fix and don't have the people in my life to help me to fix them.  Depresses me.

I could write a lot more about this, but I don't want to, and I don't want to make  you as the reader read all of that.  But I do have other posts here, that goes into more details on what I have been through in life.  A lot of that stuff would help make this post make a little more sense.  In one post I talk about how bad I was bullied growing up, and how that experience has created trauma that has messed me up emotionally as well.