How to move on from the one you loved?
My bf broke up with me a month ago. I thought that by that time I will already be moved on, but feels like I miss him even more. My college starts in 2 days, but all I can think about is him. What is he doing? Did he find someone else? Does he miss me? Why he doesn't text me? He might probably moved on, but the hope that we might get back together is not dying in me. And I gotta let that thought die. So any suggestions on what can I do?
@primrosesarefree
🌹 I'm really sorry you're going through this. It sounds incredibly painful, especially with all the lingering questions and emotions still there. It’s totally normal to still miss him and feel that pull, even a month later. The hope of getting back together can be hard to shake, especially when the feelings are still so strong. Just know it’s okay to take your time to process everything, even though it feels overwhelming right now. If you ever need to talk more, we are here to listen. 🌷
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way—it hurts horribly when you’re heartbroken. Feeling like this is super tough, especially when you’re about to start something new like college. Here are some steps to help you move forward and find some peace:
Allow Yourself to Feel: Feeling sad and missing him is okay. Don’t push those feelings away. It's part of healing.
Talk It Out: Chat with friends or family about how you feel. Sometimes, just talking about it can lighten the load.
Stay Busy: Starting college is a big deal—try to immerse yourself in it. Meet new people, join clubs, or dive into classes you’re excited about. Keeping busy helps distract your mind.
Write It Down: Sometimes writing out your feelings can help you understand them better and start letting go. You could write him a letter with everything you wish you could say—but you don’t have to send it.
Set Small Goals: Try to do something just for you each day. Whether it’s going for a walk, watching your favorite show, or reading a bit of a book. Small wins can boost your mood.
Limit Social Media Stalking: It’s tempting to check on him, but this can keep old wounds open. Try to cut down on that.
Give It Time: Healing doesn't have a set timeline. Be kind to yourself. It might feel like the world is over, but each new day gets a little easier.
Remember, starting college is a vast new chapter in your life. It’s full of opportunities to meet new friends, learn cool stuff, and learn more about yourself. This heartbreak won’t last forever, even though it feels intense right now. You've got so much exciting stuff ahead of you!
It's normal for you to feel this way. My best advice would be to live through it. When you feel like crying, just cry. Feel the emotions rather than trying to bottle them up. If it gets unbearable, then engage yourseld in something new and enjoyable. I promise it'll get better! Time really does heal.
@primrosesarefree my heart goes out to you. My boyfriend ended our 18 yr relationship 2 years ago and even though i am now trying to move on and in a new relationship, i am not over it. It is easier some days and then painful again on others. I dont think that we ever really get over it. We just learn to adapt as what once was takes its place and becomes part of who we are now. Another experience we are somehow supposed to learn from. In my experience, it takes about half the length of the relationship to recover from a heartbreak. Ive witnessed many and it has taken that long for all of them. Just in my experience. I have 7 more years to go. I feel bad for my new guy. Im a mess. Lol
@DELTA0112 As you mentioned about it being easier on some days and harder on others I can relate to it. Just the day before yesterday I was feeling so motivated, everything seemed ok and I was confident that I would get over it. But yesterday was when it hit the bottom. I was feeling so sad and missed him again. The fear of not finding anyone like him took over me. Today I feel better and even think about what I found in him so special, he's a simple ordinary person. The roller coaster of emotions, but definitely on the way to healing.
@primrosesarefree
What has helped me is to focus on whatever makes us feel loved, joyful, blissful, calm, pleasant, courageous and the right people/things/experiences join in.
Like they say about work , when we are committed to the work and not to the person or the manager work life becomes substantial. Because the company or the manager might appreciate us one day and kick out the other day. But work is work , company and the management might stay same or change.
I've been happier in my relationships when I focus on and stay committed to love , loving more than being committed to the person...