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How do I stop suppressing my feelings

Minniebeast August 24th, 2023

I am in a long-term relationship. me and my partner have been together for over 4 years, like any other relationship it has its ups and downs, but I do not regret my choice in partner and she brings me so much joy, but we have recently had our biggest fight yet, I'm sure stress built up from all over the place and a lot of emotionally draining things happened before this fight on both sides and now the fight has been mostly resolved after fighting for over a week.

I know lingering emotions and bitterness is a thing we can't always help and we are working through that in a healthy way or at least I thought so but I have caught myself just pushing my emotions away and I'm noticing I'm doing it with good and bad emotions, I can tell this is straining my relationship and I have been trying not to do it but it keeps happening. For some reason I don't want to feel my feelings and I don't know how to stop, i don't know how to just feel the emotions I'm feeling, i want to for myself and my partner, i also feel that this is not fair towards her.

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passionateSea2002 August 24th, 2023

@Minniebeast

I read somewhere that, sometimes, in times of difficulty during fights, we tend to feel very overwhelmed. The article said we can try writing letters to our partners but not let them read those. It will help you express and understand your feelings. Once you're done writing and pouring your emotions onto a letter, you can think clearly about how you can communicate your thoughts better to your partner. You can try writing a love letter to them after things are completely resolved.

4 replies
passionateSea2002 August 24th, 2023

also, if you write a love letter to them, don't forget to send this one lol

3 replies
Minniebeast OP August 24th, 2023

@passionateSea2002 thank you this seems like a good idea, i will try it.

2 replies
passionateSea2002 August 24th, 2023

@Minniebeast You're welcome. I'd love to know when it works out.

1 reply
Minniebeast OP August 24th, 2023

@passionateSea2002 will give you an update

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Woofy August 24th, 2023

Hi @Minniebeast,

I think I understand what you are experiencing.
It takes time to be reset.
I'm not sure if it is linked, but recently I came across the term "compassion fatigue".
Although it may not be the same at all, it made me think a bit of the same psychological mechanism.
When we have gone through a high level of emotion, our system may need to take a break.

If the fight happened recently, I would tend to think, you shouldn't worry too much about and let your mind and system process what happened. Allow yourself to let the emotions (or non-emotions) be there at that moment. If they are, it's probably useful somehow for your psyche.
Be gentle with yourself and take it easy at that time. Maybe just observe the changes and evolution within your feelings and thoughts, for now, without feeling guilty or worry.





1 reply
Minniebeast OP August 24th, 2023

@Woofy thank you for what you have said, i will also look into compassion fatigue.

I appreciate all the help I'm receiving and will come back to read through them again as well

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trueconfidant123 August 24th, 2023

@Minniebeast

I hear you. It's clear how much you are concerned about your partner and your relationship. It's alright to face challenges, and it's brave of you to confront these emotions. Pushing feelings aside can be tough, but acknowledging this and wanting to change is a positive step. Exploring these feelings with openness and perhaps seeking guidance could help you navigate this. Remember, you're not alone on this journey. Feel free to open up and seek support collaboratively with our listeners on 7 Cups using the Browse Listeners feature (clickable) or through general request. You can also check my bio to see if I am a fit to address your issue. Take care.

neatOwl9424 August 24th, 2023

@Minniebeast As much as it sucks, dealing with your emotions head on is the fastest way to resolve a problem.