dealing with rape

I was raped over 15 years ago to someone who was close to the family, my mom considered him a brother. I never told anyone because I was so young and I never really grasped what happened to me. But it did affect the way I viewed boys and men. Because of this man and what he had done to me changed me in many ways I never realized. He took my soul, my innocence, he took that little girl away from me. I thought all guys wanted sex and only that, that they view women as objects. But now, today I don't anymore. I took my soul back, and that little girl is back. I no longer let him control me, nor let him make me view life negative. We go through things like this to grow from it, to become stronger. It takes time to overcome it, but I know you will. Just hang in there and be strong. You are beautiful, and don't let him continue to win by not seeing what you're worth.

Hi, just wanted to say I know how hard it is to tell anybody about being raped, because you not always can get a proper reaction. They might disbelieve you, accuse you of lying, and that's terribly painful and feels so unfair. I was sexually abused when I was 14 and when I told my mother about it, she refused to believe me. I was hurt and realised I wouldn't get support from her or anyone from my family. What is worse, at the age of nineteen I was raped by my brother. I haven't told anyone. They wouldn't believe me anyway and what's worse possibly accuse me of trying to disrupt their "perfect" family life. My brother treats me differently now than he used to, isn't aggressive towards me anymore and sometimes helps me in my everyday life. But I feel torn between feelings of hurt and hate towards him and something that probably is sisterly love. I don't know how I feel about him. It's hard to let go. I feel compelled to forgive him, but just can't do that. He was the reason I tried to commit suicide at the age of 20. Anyway, just wanted to say there is so much injustice connected with being raped, so many people, including the police, often refuse to help you or accuse you of lies, that it makes me angry and hurt. But I think the most important thing here is to be able to deal with it on emotional, psychological, and sexual level (the latter is a big problem to me, as I have fears related to sexual encounters now), not going after the rapist. If the law and the police make it so hard for the victim to find justice, then we shouldn't feel responsible for the fact that the rapist is at large. It's a messed up world, all we can do is learn how to live our lives in the face of our terrible experiences. These are just some reflections I have on this subject.

I've been through it twice . People say how can you be raped more than once without one of those times being your fault? Trust me I've been blamed but I know my story so I don't let those people get to me. I am a survivor I no longer consider myself a victim. I almost felt like i was doomed from the beginning because I went through sexual abuse from the age of 4-9 by Two different family members and I did not tell until I became an adult, i then found out that those family members had also molested other women in my family. A viscous cycle. I just turned 30 and it has taken me many many years to overcome and I still have flashbacks but the difference now is that I don't go into deep depressions anymore. I don't allow fear and anxiety to set in because I know that they cannot harm me anymore, not even my rapists even though I did not report them. I regret not reporting the first one because I believe he truly was a monster. The second person was a guy I had been dating casually and I told him "no" one night but he did not accept that answer...I am currently in a place where I have a spiritually, mentally, and emotionally done some cleaning up so that I can help other women who have been through the same. It took some time. I thought I would not make it. Two years ago suicide seemed like the best option for me but God sent an angel so I'm here and I know my purpose is to help others so that they know it's possible to live after rape and abuse. When you keep fighting and look back at how far you have come, it will bring tears to your eyes every time because that hopelessness you once had is gone and you can breathe again. You can love yourself again. You can live.

We'll I wish I had found this forum when I first came to seven cups. Also I think I am the first male to post to this forum. I can relate to some of what the others talked about; not knowing who to talk to and not being believed when you did. I was molested by my two eldest brothers and the friends from the ages of 7 to 12. Until recently I dealt with it by doing drugs and basically trying to put it as far out of my mind as possible. This culminated with me moving far away from them to large city were I knew no one were I could have a fresh start. While I was out here I picked up a drinking habit and I realized I couldn't run for issues forever. So I came to seven cups on one evening when a painful memory came up and I have found excellent support here. However I still had the drinking problem so my listeners encouraged me to go to a psychologist and get professional help. I have been seeing the psych for several months now and we are addressing all the memories, and how I can deal with them and methods to prevent them from interfering with day to day life. The reason I am posting this is I have a question/ statement. I am planing a trip to go back to my family and talk to my, rapists I guess, face to face and ask them everything. I am terrified of doing so but I feel like I need to and the longer I wait the harder it will be. Idk I've never talked to anyone else who's ever even been in close to a similar situation so what do youon this forum think?

I am so sorry this has happened to you. And you are right - he took something from you that you cannot get back. There are a lot of things you feel like you've lost or feel like he stole from you right now that he really hasn't - that you can take back - and that's how you win:

Yourdignity - it's is always yours. No one can take what you don't give as far as that goes.

Your heart - someone else will get that because only you can give it.

Your sense of worth - you are the only one who knows what that is, so no one else can control it but you.

Your future - every tomorrow is your future, and a new opportunity to start.Even if today was too hardor too sador too much - there's always tomorrow.

I've only just seen this but I just wanted to say that I feel the same way. I was raped about 6 months ago and I'm really struggling to get through each day. I don't have anything to say to make you feel better except that you're not alone, I'm struggling too but we can get through it.

i was raped by my ex on Valentine's day, and the symptoms are just now really hitting me. It's such a struggle but just stay strong everyone!

i was raped by my ex on Valentine's day, and the symptoms are just now really hitting me. It's such a struggle but just stay strong everyone!