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TW : Harassment
Stormandshelter July 1st
I was 16 or 17 when I was harassed and groomed online. I was in 3rd std. when I was teased. I'm trying so hard to cope up with the thoughts. To find myself again. To get rid of that shame, the humiliation, the agony but I don't know how long it will take for me to be able to do it. I'm tired. I'm so tired of carrying it everyday. I'm so tired of feeling worthless. Of feeling that I don't deserve love. Of being this weird person who has so many health issues that she doesn't know where to start from. I took a step to be in therapy. It's helping but some days can be so hard that they take my breath away from me in a minute...and I know no one else can relate to it except the people who have been on the receiving end of the abuse and humiliation. When they've been made to feel everyday that they're nothing more than an object. That their emotions, their words, their body.. nothing matters. 

Some days I see that little girl and can't help but observe her pain, her innocence that's no more there..

Does it ever go away? Will I ever heal? How do I bring her back? How do I make her feel she didn't deserve any of it? Do you feel remorse? 
4
Amelia763 July 1st

@Stormandshelter I'm sorry this awful thing has happened to you. You have every right to feel angry about this betrayal of trust. When I was 16 and 17 there was no such thing as online bullying. I can't imagine what teens go through today, but when I was 14 or 15 I was taken in by a man who phoned me anonymously. For some reason I can't understand he was so persuasive that I gave him a friend's phone number. She told me about the weirdo who called her and I said nothing. I was so ashamed. He had convinced me that he had something to do with a small group organized in my school. I was still a child then, very naive. I don't know if this helps. There are predators out there and always have been. You have grown in wisdom at the price of the loss of innocence.

3 replies
Stormandshelter OP July 1st

I don't even know how to heal from it when I can't even face it. I just want to forget the helplessness. I just want to forget that I couldn't fight for myself..

2 replies
Amelia763 July 2nd

@Stormandshelter Maybe in time you can face it bit by bit. The important thing now is that it doesn't happen again. You can also warn teens about online dangers without getting into the specifics about what happened to you.

1 reply
Stormandshelter OP July 2nd

True. I always do.

I really hope I heal though. I'm tired of my own mind

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