Sa
Hello I just recently opened up to my dad and step mom and a few close friends about my sa that happened when I was 6 years old I'm now 17 I haven't told my mom because we don't have a good relationship. But every summer I go visit my mom and she's living in the same state as the guy who sa'd me and I see him in the stores sometimes and I have panic attacks but I don't know what to do because my sa experience is affecting my relationships I get uncomfortable really easy with people touching me and it kind of gets on my boyfriends nerves a little bit and my friends will make jokes about it and I feel like I'm all alone I have no one to talk to about this my parents said I was 6 so it shouldn't affect me anymore and I feel like I'm just over reacting. I can't go to therapy because I don't have a way to pay for it since I'm 17 and my parents won't let me so I'm just trying to deal with it all alone because no one understands.
@Tatumallen
wow ..
sorry to hear that you are going through that ... your mom could not be more wrong something that happens like that does not just go away or fade. there are a lot of feelings to process and maybe you can find a listener here that can help you.
@Tatumallen
I'm sorry to hear you've had to experience this, and that you do not have the support you need. I'm glad you've reached out and posted.
There isn't a time frame on when healing happens from sa. In fact, each individuals journey is different. When you don't have the option for treatment, it can take even longer.
I agree with @toughtiger6481 that you can consider chatting with a listener here on 7 Cups. Also some schools have counselors on staff that you could consider talking to. In addition, some programs have support groups that are available to survivors.
There are a couple books that might help with consideration of issues related to recovery from sa.
The Sexual Trauma Workbook for Teen Girls: A Guide to Recovery from Sexual Assault and Abuse
How Long Does It Hurt?: A Guide to Recovering from Incest and Sexual Abuse for Teenagers, Their Friends, and Their Families
The PTSD Survival Guide for Teens: Strategies to Overcome Trauma, Build Resilience, and Take Back Your Life
I’m so very sorry that you’re experiencing this, and that you are not finding all the support you deserve.
I got a month free therapy through school, maybe there’s a similar program where you’re at.
Maybe a support group, like here on the app or an in person meeting. I know there’s a depression support group near me hosted at a church and it’s good to know it’s there if I ever need it.
Its good to explore options when you don’t have the means to get therapy. I know it’s a little out there but I started joining all these free meetings in Meetup and tried free sessions with chakra healers, emdr, tapping sessions (I really recommend these last ones) maybe something will feel right for you.
must be hard to see the person that hurt you when you visit your mom. Maybe it’ll feel better to set up meetings in zoom or phone calls so you don’t have to experience the trauma of being there. Try to honor where you’re at, you are your most important project. The rest of the world can wait if all you need to do one day is get cozy under a weighted blanket and listen to your favorite music. Thinking of you and your healing path 🌷