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Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Repulsion??

ellabellie January 3rd, 2018

Does anyone have any advice for overcoming romantic and sexual repulsion? I have had a really hard time with this after my first relationhip, which happened to be sexually and emotionally abusive. I feel like these repulsions are holding me back from enjoying myself in a relationship and opening up.

6
January 15th, 2018

@ellabellie

I can understand you, I to have these issues. I am married and I can not bring myself to intimacy at all

1 reply
ellabellie OP January 17th, 2018

@scarletPear1945 I'm sorry you're having these issues too. It can be so hard.

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UntilThen February 1st, 2018

@ellabellie

For me, the thing that has helped me the most is to be very open about my experiances, emotions, and triggers with new or possible partners. Most people are more than willing to help you feel safe and comfortable and understand when you distance yourself sexually or romantically if you are able to communicate clearly.

3 replies
ellabellie OP February 3rd, 2018

@UntilThen Yeah that is good advice! Thank you. I guess either I'm bad at communicating though, or I just haven't found the right partners.

February 3rd, 2018

@UntilThen

I use to try and be the good wife and meet my husband's needs but it became more then I could handle. Don't want to get too detailed as it may cause Triggers for someone. However, when I would submit to my husband, he was well aware of my issue and yes he did try to be very careful with me. I would really get sick to my stomach and want to puke. Besides the pain and swelling, I would be up for hours sitting in a tub of hot water while he was dead asleep. That pissed me off greatly. The romance was not apart of our intimacy . just sex. We have been married for 45 years and things never changed in the bedroom.

I no longer subject myself to this trauma, and we just coexist together. Wish it was different because I would like to just be held, or had another way to be close without the sex. That never happened despite me expressing that.

1 reply
ellabellie OP February 5th, 2018

@scarletPear1945 I'm so sorry. That sounds really hard and depressing. Maybe your husband just doesn't understand your issues with sex the way that he should, and that could be a dealbreaker? I'm not sure what your thoughts are and the rest of the relationship dynamic, though.

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