Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Repulsion??

@ellabellie

I can understand you, I to have these issues. I am married and I can not bring myself to intimacy at all

@scarletPear1945 I'm sorry you're having these issues too. It can be so hard.

@ellabellie

For me, the thing that has helped me the most is to be very open about my experiances, emotions, and triggers with new or possible partners. Most people are more than willing to help you feel safe and comfortable and understand when you distance yourself sexually or romantically if you are able to communicate clearly.

@UntilThen Yeah that is good advice! Thank you. I guess either I'm bad at communicating though, or I just haven't found the right partners.

@UntilThen

I use to try and be the good wife and meet my husband's needs but it became more then I could handle. Don't want to get too detailed as it may cause Triggers for someone. However, when I would submit to my husband, he was well aware of my issue and yes he did try to be very careful with me. I would really get sick to my stomach and want to puke. Besides the pain and swelling, I would be up for hours sitting in a tub of hot water while he was dead asleep. That pissed me off greatly. The romance was not apart of our intimacy . just sex. We have been married for 45 years and things never changed in the bedroom.

I no longer subject myself to this trauma, and we just coexist together. Wish it was different because I would like to just be held, or had another way to be close without the sex. That never happened despite me expressing that.

@scarletPear1945 I'm so sorry. That sounds really hard and depressing. Maybe your husband just doesn't understand your issues with sex the way that he should, and that could be a dealbreaker? I'm not sure what your thoughts are and the rest of the relationship dynamic, though.