@BattyBallerina hey there ballerina, its nice to meet you.
thanks a lot for sharing your story with us today. i really appreciate you reaching out and sharing your feelings here in our community.
i can t even imagine how it must be to cope with this all and i am really sorry you had to go through that. you clearly didnt deserve this all *safe hugs (if you want them)*
i want you to know you have all my support and that your voice is heard.
if you want to talk to someone, feel free to message me, you deserve so much support and love and kindness 
sending you all my strength (even though i have the feeling you are already so unbelieveably strong!), and wishing you a lovely day!
@BattyBallerina - I am really proud of you for opening up about this. I know it's not easy to share things that you have been holding tight for so long, but I hope that being able to talk about it is helpful.
You mentioned feeling really guilty - about what happened and having your family upset that you didn't want to be close with your cousin. You did nothing wrong and you have nothing to feel guilty for. You were a child. You did not ask for those things to happen. You did nothing to try to hurt someone else - everything you did was to try to take care of yourself and that's never a bad thing.
You have a right to feel safe and to not have to be around people who make you feel unsafe - even if those people are family. You have a right to feel upset when someone touches you in a way you're not okay with - no matter who that person is or what their age is. You have a right to talk about what's happened without facing judgement or anger. You have a right to feel anything and everything that you are feeling and to share those feelings with others.
I know that these feelings and these fears don't go away in a day just by saying something or by having someone tell you it's okay to express them, but I think that you have taken a really big step forwards in opening up about this and I promise you that none of us will view you differently for it (except maybe to be impressed by your courage in sharing with us). You're safe here and it's always okay to share what you need to talk about and if you ever need a place to talk more, you're welcome to reach out to me or to others here.
Wishing you well and hoping that a tiny bit of the weight on you has been lifted by being able to talk about it here and letting us carry a bit of that weight for you.