Memories getting clearer, idk what to do
I began to have flashbacks about my SA from childhood which i completely forgot until i was 18 (Im now 21) and now i just feel like the memory is getting clearer and i feel like i might go insane. im not comfortable talking to a real therapist yet because no one knows exactly what happened. my closest friend just know it happened but not the details. it happened a long time ago im afraid if i bring it up to my family it will do more harm than good because come one SA case are a hard one especially with only bits of memories i have left. i feel like people will only say im lying qnd somehow i wish o was but i know i have a strong feeling im sure it actually happened because it happened not once but multiple times with two different abuser. which is also a minor too at the time so i thought at first it wasn't a big deal but i feel like something inside me is broken now. i dont know what to do. i feel like im at a dead end and i feel like this will really mess up my present and future.
@matchamochi07
For you my heart. I am so sorry you endured SA. Your feelings are completely normal and valid. I encourage you not to feed into those stigmas you are describing. Telling your story is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself and other women. I hope a pathway clears for you soon. Have you considered joining a support group in your community? That may help connect you with resources. <3
I agree telling your story as often as you can to the right people helps a lot, You just need to be sure you can trust them and that goes with a therapist that you pick, you may have to test the waters, tell what parts you are comfortable with first, not all family members react to your story negatively, that said mine was worse then telling a stranger, you will be surprised at just how many people out there have the same trauma as you, it was not your fault and you did nothing wrong, you will find the more you talk about it the clear it becomes, when you find those who you trust with your story tell every thing don’t leave and thing inside it will only keep bothering you and healing will be harder, each part has to be dealt with so you know how and why you feel the way you do, I know this is hard and takes time, I’m a male and it happen to me as a 7 year old child and again at 17 while I was in the military, not only the sexual assault but they tried to kill me on 4 occasions, they sent me out of country for May safety. This is about you, I only told you this much cause I wanted you to know your not alone and your not lying and your not crazy, you just need the help processing what happen and understand the feeling your having are normal and real, please don’t give up. 🦋
@matchamochi07 Wow thats hard to deal with, I can imagine. I a similar experience of suppressing a an experiences of sexual violence I had to go through as teeny. I feel with you. Wish you strength.
