♥Lemonade and Figgy♥ [Space]
Hey @emotionalFig5074
I figured here would be a good space for us to keep tags on each other and of course, this space is also open to anyone who would like to respond.
@TheLemonade hello! I'm an open book, I'm sorry to hear you've been around the trauma block yourself.
@emotionalFig5074
Trigger Warning: Mentions of abuse (not specifics)
I mean with me it's a bit of a rollercoaster but I've been through the domestic abuse relationships, I've been through being homeless and going between houses trying to find a safe place to be. Now I am in a much better position in life where I'm not homeless and I've got a very supportive partner but the problem I have is that I hyper-fix onto certain memories and in the long run I end up hurting myself because I can physically feel those intense memories. It's almost like having the power to go back in time to revisit the older memories and feel the emotions I felt back then and while sometimes I do miss that, even if it was abusive.
For me, I do miss the routine, that's something that is definitely lacking with my current partner, and it's frustrating because of course, I think he's the best thing that's happened to me but during the abusive relationship, at least I knew what was happening next, so it's a bit difficult sometimes and it's definitely messed up with my mind.
@TheLemonade I'm sorry to hear your story but glad you're in a better place. What do you mean by you miss the routine?
I've gotten really bad news about my health, so I'm a bit side tracked. I've been really upset about it while I waited for results and now its worse now that I have them. I can't see a gyn until Monday. I'm so tired of more roadblocks. I asked the nurse how I am supposed to make it through the weekend. She was like what do you mean, we could send you medication? I have medication. What do I do about my mind? How do I not have si thoughts? She was like "you could go to a walk in counselor." I've been in therapy for almost a year how is one session going to help? I would barely have time to explain why it's so upsetting.
@emotionalFig5074
Hi Figgy, sorry I've been sidetracked with my partner's health, ended up being in the hospital for over nine hours due to him being diagnosed with diabetes after so long of trying to argue with the doctors that my partner was having issues but it fell on deaf ears until the test results showed that he was actually diabetic! So that was a fun trip to the hospital to get all the insulin he needed. He feels so much better now.
Right, yeah with regards to the 'routine' it is more like....at least from my experience those who are in abusive situations, it's like if you do something, then something will definitely happen, for example, if I was to go see my friends, my (ex) partner would question me, and make me feel guilty for even considering the very idea of being away from her whereas with my partner now, it's like.....he's going to be fine with it, there's like too much free will and I'm not used to that aspect and it's like walking into to unknown areas where I don't know what's happening next and it almost feels too good to be true.
Urgh, it takes many sessions just to get comfortable enough to talk about how you feel, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through health issues and I hope it gets resolved on Monday. It's like the first thing they think of is giving you more and more medication to deal with the issue forgetting you have a brain and you need to deal with it one step at a time otherwise it gets overwhelming.