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I'm so confused... Help, please?
beethebuzz October 3rd, 2015
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I do want to talk about this somehow. I didn't come out about this incident until fairly recently with a family member. One of my family members said it was no shock, a few others said it was a surprise. But anyway...

Here's what basically happened: I was in a church and a lady came up to me because I was helping with selling some stuff at the church, and then the lady seemed to be curious about what I was selling. But then she first grabbed my elbow and then grabbed my breast. I was so startled, and nobody else (coincidentally) was watching at that very moment. I was so afraid to yell "Don't touch me!" though I wanted to yell it. She fondled my breast a little and then afterwards the lady left. Nobody else saw what happened... except me.

After that, I've been so confused about the incident that happened when I was 17. I want to tell my parents it happened, but at the same time I'm worried about telling them. At first I thought that maybe it didn't affect me that bad, but when I thought about it I realized that it has affected me tremendously. I have horrible, almost constant thoughts where I'm molested and am forced to accept it and try to enjoy it instead of say "No" to it like I want to. And I don't want such thoughts. I know it's affected me and I'm afraid to tell anybody how badly it's affected me.

At the same time, I don't want to go to that Church anymore or volunteer for it or anything. I do love being Catholic and I love going to Church, but I don't want to come close to that specific Church where this incident happened (we've only been to this specific Church a few times, but I don't want to go there not even one more time anymore). But in order to stop going to that Church for good... I have to tell my parents. But I'm so afraid of how they'll probably respond, "Why didn't you tell us sooner? You know you can tell us when people do these things." And I don't know what'll happen afterwards or what they'll do afterwards. I don't know who to tell, how to tell it, and the incident does have me confused. What should I do? What can I do? Is this even called "molestation" or is it called something else? I don't know, I don't really understand it, and I'm just so confused. :/ Help, please?

3
braveSugar7964 October 3rd, 2015
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Any touching of someone's private parts is molestation, and that includes your breasts, bee.

Now, how to tell your parents, because you really should, so that this woman can be stopped from doing this again, and so that you aren't ever put in that situation again.. could you maybe write a note to your parents? You're very able to espress yourself in writing, so could you possibly write it down once more?

beethebuzz OP October 3rd, 2015
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@braveSugar7964 I'm glad somebody has responded about this. I've been really wondering about the questions I asked above.

I would put it in writing for my parents to read, but one of the last times I did that they didn't read it. They just threw the paper away and didn't mention anything about it to me, even if I asked them to speak with me about it afterwards. I just don't know how on earth I would tell them if it's like I told them too late after the incident occurred. :/

braveSugar7964 October 3rd, 2015
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Do you have a family member who could be with you whilst you tell your parents, bee? I'm trying to think of ways to make it easier.

I know you've left it a while, but that's because you've been unsure about what actually happened, whether you've been affected by it, and even whether it's serious. It's understandable, and I'm sure a lot of people would be the same.

Heck, some adults only tell about being abused as a kid when they're married with families themselves.

I really hope you can find it in yourself to tell, and that your parents are more supportive than you're expecting them to be.

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