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Impossible to switch off

Grits1910 August 16th, 2022

Need some advice how to switch off... I'm constantly on hyper alert, unable to relax, to unwind properly, on edge and finding it really hard to cope. It's making me unwell, I'm so tired, can't sleep properly or interact normally with those around me.


Just want to let go the anxiety, the fear of being exposed to what I went through before, I want to be able to be me, without having to live life through a looking glass.


I feel like I'm always on duty, unable to drop what I'm doing, constantly trying to keep tabs on what's around me, who's around me. It feels stupid, given my abuse was so many years ago, but the sensations are like I'm still in the same body, with the same fears, the same physical sensations.


When I try to get to sleep I often wake with a jump, feeling like I'm falling off a cliff, nightmares only round the corner.


Help!! Need some advice how to break this cycle before it breaks me. 😞


Grits

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emotionalLime7158 August 16th, 2022

I was hypervigilant for a long time too. (Guided) Meditation and therapy helped me feel more grounded. Yoga helps me a lot too. My nervous system desperately needed to relax. I hope you're able to find some coping methods to help you as well!

1 reply
Grits1910 OP August 26th, 2022

@emotionalLime7158


Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I need to figure out how to access some guided meditation as it has helped in the past, but I have little to no success in mediating alone. Part of the problem is finding the space, but switching off...that's the real issue.


Yoga... Hadn't thought of that... Will give it a go... At the very least it will make my kids laugh seeing their dad contorting himself!


🤗

Grits

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loujaine August 17th, 2022

I understand all that u just said, i think acknowledging and understanding to everything that happened to u is some way to start. It kind of calms down over time. I dont think its ever goes away but it sort of calmed down with me

the being aware and cautious of everything around u is gonna be the new normal for u

you’ll just learn to deal with it better. If u ever wanna talk to me i’ll listen

1 reply
Grits1910 OP August 26th, 2022

@loujaine


What you said (thank you!!) hit home. It is about acknowledging what happened... Not something I'm good at doing. I find myself making up a narrative in my head to convince my inner self that it never happened. Then flashbacks bring it all back and I crash back down again.


You're right... As much as it pains me to admit it, this is my new normal. I don't claim to like it, but I guess working with it will be easier than fighting against it.


🤗

Grits


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adventurousBranch3786 August 17th, 2022

@Grits1910. I can tell you what has helped me to give you some ideas.


Saying affirmations such as: That was hard for me but I’ll get through this. The past is over. That was just a memory of a past event, it will pass.

EDMR I have met people here who didn’t find it helpful. In my case it didn’t take away flashbacks and body memories completely. But it lessened my reaction to them.

I find mindfulness videos helpful to here is a link to some 7cups videos
mindfulness video library http://tinyurl.com/kcr5lxq


I hope that you can find something that helps❤️.
1 reply
Grits1910 OP August 26th, 2022

@adventurousBranch3786


Thank you... I'm hugely grateful for your helpful post.


I'm going to try vocalising my affirmations - I've tried affirmations in the past and it's helped, but I don't tend to say them out loud, and I need them to be real, out there, part of my reality.


EMDR - heard a lot of positive things about it, never had it myself, but will keep this in mind. Hearing that it lessened your reaction to your trauma is great - that's where I'm desperate to make a difference.


Thank you for the links to the videos - I'll take a look, as the resources on 7Cups are typically really helpful.


🤗

Grits

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amiableBlackberry92 August 24th, 2022

@Grits1910

I'm sorry your struggling. I had a similar experience for quite a long time. My anxiety was ruling my world and ruining my world. I understand hyper alert , something I dealt with most of my life. Awful feeling. I am undergoing a therapy called Orpheus technologies with a certified therapist and it really helps a lot. It only takes about 15 minutes to do it and once you learn you can use the app at home/ work. It requires training and repeated sessions. I have to admit before I found this therapy I was on anti anxiety meds so I could sleep/ function somewhat .

I'm sorry for my delayed response to you.

Btw your reactions are completely normal. I had the same reactions for many decades from my childhood abuse.

You have my undying support☺️

ABB 💜

2 replies
Grits1910 OP August 26th, 2022

@amiableBlackberry92


You are wonderful for all the support you offer me - you can't imagine how much it means to me. Thank you! 👏


Orpheus and the app looks really good... Not cheap, but has some really positive reviews, and appears well structured. I'm going to try it (literally decided just now!) as it can't hurt, and I'm desperate for a way forward.


Please don't ever think you need to apologize for a delayed reply! I'm grateful for all your help, whether it's timely or not.


I guess I need to acknowledge these reactions are normal... The new normal... My new normal. I don't want to, but it will be a different direction to my default self recrimination, guilt and depression.


🤗

Grits

1 reply
amiableBlackberry92 August 26th, 2022

@Grits1910

Rest assured your reactions are all normal. I hope you will find relief from these suggestions. Your not at fault in anyway. ( I do blame myself even though I know I'm not at fault)- something I need to work on.

The connections I've made on 7 cups has helped me alot too. It helps to know your not alone . It helps to find ppl who understand because the ppl in your circle don't always get it. I understand that too.

Best Always ABB 💜


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